Let Me Be Who I Am

Chapter 2

Rhena POV:

Meeting my brother's new boyfriend is also very interesting. He is also handsome like my other brother's boyfriends. Leon is a weightlifter, his muscles are very strong, I think my brother really has the type for muscular guys. When we met for the first time and he hugged me, I was afraid that my bones would break because of the large muscles he had. My brothers' boyfriends look like straight men, they don't look like the gay guys I usually meet, i mean a man where they like to wear make-up or dress up and look like girls, if you just look at them no one thinks they are gay.

Don't judge a book by their cover, maybe that adage would suit Leon. Despite his very macho appearance, he is surprisingly smart in the kitchen. The dishes are very good, especially the baking skills that he has. While tasting his food I like a crazy fans who meet their idols , I keep asking about recipes and make him promise to teach me his amazing baking skills. His cooking and baking skills make me embarrassed because as a girl I can't cook and always order take out for my daily needs.

Leon's sister's is beautiful like what my brother said, I guess I have a crush on her. This is the first time my heart flutters for a girl other than my best friend. Too bad she got engaged because I saw the ring on her ring finger. I was too scared to ask if she wanted a poly relationship with more than one lover like her brother's, because if she wanted that I definitely wouldn't hesitate to seduce her and her fiancé too. I guess I should gather information whether I should seduce them or not. If they both is someone who is loyal to only one lover I have to step back even though it will hurt me because I don't want to ruin the relationship between two lovers who love each other.

***

I'm at the supermarket right now take what I need and put it in my shopping cart. Pushing the cart I kept looking for what else I need again.

"Miss Rhena" I stopped when I heard someone calling my name and saw leon's sister walking towards me, god she very beautiful and sexy.

"Oh hi Miss Perez" Tamara Perez that she name, her name is beautiful like her person.

"Time for weekly shopping?." she asked me and saw my shopping basket

"Yup, it's my time for weekly shopping." I answered her casually trying not to saw her big breasts.

"You are alone here? Where is your daughter?" she looked left and right looking for Alina.

"my daughter did not come with me, Alina with my brother's and his boyfriend's, that includes your brother" I took the item I wanted to buy.

"So she's in our house"

"I don't know where my brother's took Alina, maybe in his house or maybe in your house. I only know my daughter is safe with her uncle."

"How old are you and your daughter, you already have a daughter, you don't look like someone who has given birth?"

"I am 25 years old and my daughter is 5 years old, why do you ask?" I smiled at her question and continue my shopping while Ms Perez followed behind me.

"Just curious." She shrugged.

"Will my answer calm your curiosity?" I smiled warmly at her.

"A little" she smiled back

"Hi Ara, have you finished talking with your friend?" I heard a girl's voice behind me ..

"Sorry dear wait a minute there is still something I want to ask. Miss Rhena this is my girlfriend and my fiancé Rain." She points to the woman with the sunglasses behind me .. so this is her fiancé, I took a quick look and saw the matching ring on the girl's ring finger.

"Hello Ms. Rain, my name is Rhena, nice to meet you." I stretched out my hand but pulled it back because she was just staring at my hand.

"How do you two know each other?" Is that the jealous voice I hear, god don't let her misunderstand us.

"My brother is his brother's boyfriend, we met when my brother introduced us." I answered quickly to ease the awkwardness.

"Can I ask you something again Ms. Rhena?" Ms Perez asked me, ignoring her girlfriend or her fiancé who were still looking at me with investigate eyes.

"That's what you're doing now, so go on what else you want to ask."

"Is Alina your real daughter or did you adopt her, just sorry but your both faces don't look alike at all"

"No problem, As you can see Alina is not my biological daughter, she is my best friend daughter. I adopted her 5 years ago after her mother passed away and her father committing suicide in prison."

"Can we go home now Ara." Miss Perez's fiancé took her hand and pulled her away without saying goodbye to me, Ms Perez looked at me with apologetically face.

Wow that's a bad attitude, I shook my head in surprise. I smiled when i heard thunder outside that signaled it was going to rain. I got to the cashier after taking everything I need and went out go to house for enjoy my favorite weather.

I love the rain, the peaceful feeling I get when I see the water droplets falling from the sky is very nice. I don't know since when I liked the rain, maybe since I was little because I remember when I was a kid I really liked playing with the rain, sometimes I played naked in the rain, playing cheerfully like other innocent little girls who feel they have the world in their hands and don't have any problem in her life. Sometimes I miss the times when I was a little before my parents get divorced where that time i always happy and everything was fine.

When I grow up and lived with my evil family, I always imagine myself escape and was somewhere without them. But being independent and living alone is just fun at first. After long time it's feel boring to me. If you are the type of person like me who only has one friend then it will be a nightmare when you lose your friend. Feeling lonely because you don't have anyone in your life is a destructive feeling. You can have friends online and tell them your problem, but the feeling is not the same if you real friend. Luckily for me to find my brother, having him was a gift to me. His three boyfriends are also very nice to me like their family, only rain girls are not friendly to me.

At times like this I really miss my best friend. I miss everything about her, I really can't get forget her and realize how much I still love her even after she died. The simple things we both do are great fun and she can always make me smile. If only I could meet God, I would ask God to bring my best friend back to this world, it's not fair if she has to die too early. As what other people say, good people are the first who leave this world.

I looked up at the cloudy sky and saw drops of water falling from the sky. I breathed slowly to appreciate the scent of the rain and exhaled with pleasure. While drinking tea, I couldn't stop staring at the falling rain. If anyone saw me now, they would say I was crazy smiling alone. I don't care about them this is my life, only someone who loves rain like me can understand how beautiful the rain is and the feeling of peace you get when the rain comes.

I closed my eyes and inhaled the soothing scent of the rain once again. That's enough, I've been staring at the falling rain for too long, I'm cold and my stomach is hungry now. I Close my bedroom window and enter the kitchen, Time to cook ...

***

I shake my body left and right enjoying the song I play softly on my phone While i when cooking my favorit food. Once a week Alina stays at my brother's house, I need her to go there. I need this time for myself so that I don't get stressed and do the things I regret because my mind is messy.

Did you know baby blues syndrome? A psychological disorder in mothers caused by pressure to raise their children. Baby blues syndrome usually appears 2-3 days after a woman gives birth her child. Women were bipolar at that time and her emotionally unstable. Mothers can become sad, angry, anxious, and cry for no reason. Sleep patterns become messy and appetite decreases.

What women need most when experiencing baby blues syndrome is moral support from her partner and family. But what I see here is straight married couple based on the experience of my neighbors very sad, Women who have to raise children without anyone's help. Their traditions and mindset are wrong because they see the duty of men as husbands to earn money and the duty of women to look after children and serve her husband as best they can. That means women have to take good care of their children, arrange the house such as cleaning dishes and clothing, cooking and at night if their husband wants their wife in the bed, woman must be ready and not to complain.

It is not uncommon for women who are stressed because of the heavy psychological pressure they experience to cause a break in the relationship with their own children and this can even cause many mothers to abuse their babies and some even have the kill their baby. Seeing the tragedy, I was confused about who was to blame. You married your lover and make them your wife for love them not make them to be your private servant or your private maid. If you don't have much money to hire housemaid at least take your time helping your wife's work in your home.

Here what i Saw Women are prohibited from working and they have to quit their jobs if they have previous jobs, if women are still employed after marriage ,society will be blamed her because that. Very sad, woman here treatment like that from her husband, i know not all straight married couple like that but that what i saw in my life and that what happened in my parents Marriage life.

I turn off the stove and put my favorite food on the plate and eat it slowly. I miss my little angel, has she eaten? Picking up my cell phone I called my brother who he immediately picked up with just one ring.

"Hey brother how is Alina?" I asked how my little angel was.

"She's playing with Tamara and her girlfriend"

"You're at Tamara and Leon's house?..," I asked to make sure.

"Yes, is that a problem" asked my brother anxiously

"No, not, only why not at your house and why in their house"

"Tamara wanted to introduce her girlfriend to us so we came here. I brought Alina because I couldn't bear to leave her alone."

"Oh, well did my little girl have fun there?...." I asked my brother, I heard her happy little laugh before my brother could even answer my question.

"Does that answer your question?.." I can even feel that my brother smiled there.

"May I speak to her for a moment."

"Alina baby, your mother wants to talk to you sweetheart, come here speak to your mommy" My brother screamed for her.

"Mommy" I heard her cute little voice.

"Hey baby, have fun there."

"Yes mommy, I have a new friend"

"New friend huh, what's your new friend's name?"

"Ms Rain"

"Have you eaten, dear"

"Yes mommy, my new friend cooks a best pancake for me."

"It's better than Mommy's pancake, you make mommy sad sweetheart," I teased her and pretended to cry.

"Sowwy Mommy's don't cry, mommy pancake is number 1, pwowmise."

"Okay honey, be careful, don't be too naughty, listen to your uncle's words. Goodbye honey I love you"

"I love you too mommy, bye bye." She hangs up my phone. Now what else should I do to enjoy my free time?

***