An Escape to a New Self

The Interview

The spring weather shifted to warmer summer weather. Han Na continued to work at a small publishing company while I tried to keep her place looking spotless. My adventures started to be fewer and farther between. Money in my account dwindled so the need to venture to farther places seemed to be out of the picture for a while. When I talked to my parents they urged me to come home and start looking for a job, but I would decline. I happily accepted that I needed the adventure to rediscover myself.

“I don’t understand why you just won’t come home,” my mother said to me on the phone one morning. It was late in the evening there. “Your father and I will let you stay here until you can get back on your feet.”

“Mom, I am not ready to come back. ” It was true. I did not feel the urge to go back to my hometown. Even the countless responses to my social media posts with friends complaining about how much they missed me were not enough to persuade me to leave Seoul.

“You have been with Han Na for the past six weeks. I am sure she has a life there. You are just getting in the way.” My mom tried the guilt trip maneuver several times, but it never pushed me over the edge.

“Han Na is just fine with me being here,” I retorted. “Her parents are quite happy I am here. It is nice that she has a roommate here in the apartment.”

My mother sat quietly on the other end. Personal experiences made me realize she felt the need to say something that would probably anger or upset me. She sighed heavily before starting her next attack. I tried to brace myself.

“I ran into Dave the other day at the store. He asked how you were doing. I informed him that you were with Han Na in Seoul. He told me that he really misses you. That it was a -”

“So the w***e he was f*****g left him. Now he feels the need to come crawling back, begging for redemption. I don’t f*****g think so!” I could feel myself grinding my teeth. When I lost my temper the profanity came out without even thinking.

“Catherine, language!” my mother responded crossly. “You should at least hear him out. He sounded sincere.”

I sighed heavily. Of course, my mother would be on Dave’s side. She loved him like a son because he almost was to her. Yet, he cheated and lied for the last six months of the relationship. No matter how many times I played out what I did wrong or could change, his wrongdoings outweighed my faults. I tried so hard to hold things together when I knew that my world was falling apart. In a way, I smiled to hear that he missed me. So many nights after the broken engagement I wept, hoping he would come back, and tell me that I was his whole world. It never happened. After the initial shock wore off I decided to up and leave the memories. I sort of wish that my mother could see that I needed to heal and rediscover myself. Apparently, she saw this as being a burden on my best friend.

“Mom, I have some things to do.” I needed to end the conversation before the urge to cry started. “Give Daddy my love. I will talk to you soon.” I hung up before she had a chance to respond.

I flopped on the couch afterward. I flipped through the channels looking for something to watch. I stopped on a sitcom but my subpar Korean skills could not keep up. I began creating the conversations in my head. Han Na came home to find me sitting in the same position.

“I am home,” she announced as she dropped some takeout on the small table. “What are you watching?”

“I am not sure,” I said. “But Lindsey is very angry at Edward for not taking her to the company outing because he is secretly in love with Angelina, who works with him.” I just made up the American version of names in my head to help keep the main characters straight.

Han Na stared at the show for a moment. “I don’t think that is what is going on.”

“Maybe not, but that is the plot and conversation that is going on in my head.” I smiled at her.

“Is this what you have been doing all day?” She gestured to the TV.

“No, I talked to my mom today too.” I scowled at Han Na as I walked to the table.

Han Na handed me a bowl of jjanjangmyeon. “And how are they?”

Polite conversation. Han Na knew that many times the conversations did not end well because of small tiffs. I understood my parents wanted me to come back home. I understood they missed me and wanted nothing more for my well-being. However, they saw my healing as taking place at home and I knew that I did not want that to be so. It always ended up with my mom and me getting a little heated or in tears and that would be the end of the conversation. When I started to feel the tensions rise, I would end the conversation before feelings could be hurt.

“The usual. Mom wants me home. Dad tinkers in the garage most of the time.” I slurped up some noodles. “Mom ran into Dave at the store.”

“And?”

“Oh, he misses me.” I made that statement extremely sarcastic. “My mom told him everything about how I was here with you. And blah, blah, blah. I should talk to him. We should get back together, plan a wedding again, and live happily ever after.”

Han Na stopped eating. “She said that!”

“Not word for word, but it was in the pretext.” I rolled my eyes. “I just do not understand how she can still back him when he did such horrible things to me like leave me for another woman.”

Han Na sat there for a moment. We finished our jjajangmyeon without saying another word while I watched a new sitcom flashing across the screen. My mind was more on eating than the show. I still could not manage to slurp up the noodles as fast as Han Na. The universal rule of chewing food at least twenty-five times still pertained to me. Plus, I was a slow eater. Han Na finished while I still stuffed noodles in my face.

“I have some news for you!” Han Na exclaimed as she rushed over to her handbag. When she turned around a lanyard could be seen in her hand. She headed back to the couch. Seated next to me she dropped the badge and lanyard into my lap. The sleeve held no name badge or ID. I stared at Han Na for a moment.

“What is this?” I scooped up the little piece of plastic.

“It is for a work badge.” Han Na beamed from ear to ear. “I overheard my boss complaining about there not being enough help on a project. As soon as I heard this, your name just popped into my head. I know I should have called to ask if this is something you wanted to do but I needed to jump at the opportunity. He wants to meet on Monday with a resume and interview you.”

I placed my nearly empty bowl on the table. The tears started to sting my eyes. Blinking rapidly to stop them from falling I felt a wave of happiness and anxiety start to take over. I did not know how I would be able to manage a work environment where most of my colleagues spoke another language. However, the prospect of a job meant there would be a chance for income. I decided then and there on the couch, I needed to get this job.

“So, what exactly would I be doing?” I asked. “I do not know much about publishing.”

Han Na smiled a cute, mischievous smile. “You are going to be Mr. Park’s secretary. He is my boss which is how I overheard the whole conversation. And you have nothing to worry about because he speaks fluent English.”

I beamed after hearing those words. I could start working, which would put my parents at ease about being here. Also, hearing that there would be no language barrier I felt a large lump of anxiety start to fade away. A small amount of anxiety still sat in the bottom of my stomach, but that is natural when a looming interview is in the future.

“Well, I guess tomorrow I need to go find some business clothes for this new job,” I said with a wide smile.

“Only if I can join you!” Han Na laughed.

Monday morning I followed Han Na to her small publishing company in Myeong-dong. The three-story building her publishing company resided in looked just like many of the other buildings I walked past on outings. We hurried into a small elevator taking us up to the third floor. I followed her through the glass door and proceeded to wait in the small lobby while Han Na talked to the young receptionist at the desk. Han Na seemed very animated in the morning while the receptionist scowled in my general direction. It was unclear if she really scowled at me or just at the situation in general. After a few moments, Han Na came back to me.

“Mr. Park will be out in a few moments for the interview, but I need to get to work.” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “There is nothing to be nervous about. I know that Mr. Park is going to like you. I have a good feeling about this.” With that, she turned and walked out of the lobby down the hall.

I sat down on a small tweed chair, dark brown with small flecks of green in the fabric made me feel as if I needed to read a book. I brought nothing to entertain me, so I grabbed a magazine off the glass coffee table in front of me. Flipping through the pages of beauty creams and the local celebrity gossip made me forget the whole reason I entered this small office. Someone started to clear their throat in front of the table before I glanced to see an extremely handsome man. His dark brown eyes looked at me as I nearly dropped the magazine while I proceeded to get up.

“Ms. Catherine Jager?” He said the Jager with a “j” sound instead of the “y” sound.

“It’s Jager. It’s German, so it sounds like a ‘y’” I stood for a moment then began to sputter. “Y-Y-Yes, I am Catherine Jager. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

Maybe I should not have corrected him.

“Well, Ms. Jager, follow me this way.” He walked down the hall towards his office. When I looked to my left I could see through the glass Han Na sitting at a table with several others. She flipped through the pages and back to her computer screen. The others looked to be doing the same thing. I wondered while I walked past what diligent work was presented in front of them. I quickened my pace as Mr. Park stepped into his office. He gestured to a chair in front of his desk as I walked into the room.

His office was painted a soft pale gray to create a calm atmosphere. A couple of dark wood bookcases stood against one of the walls. The shelves were lined with books, framed pictures, and several Scottish terrier figurines. I noticed in one of the photos he seemed to be holding a small terrier in his arms. He looked happy holding the small puppy because of the huge smile on his face. Several awards along with his degree hung on the wall.

“Well, Ms. Jager, what brings you here?” he started as he ruffled some papers in front of him. Several strands of his dark brown hair fell into his eyes as he asked.

I looked at him puzzled. “Han Na told me that you wanted to interview me today.”

Mr. Park laughed. He smiled coolly and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back away from his eyes. When he did this I found myself instantly smitten. There felt to be this boyish charm he oozed and he knew it. He fell into one of those categories of men who knew that they could charm any woman. They were dangerous, but there was always something about them that made anyone want to pursue them more.

Stop this! You are here for a job interview; not a dating connection.

“Let me rephrase that question. What brings you here to Seoul?” He leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed.

“Oh, I guess you could say I am here to rediscover myself.” I hoped that was the end of that question.

“Bad break up then?” He still sat there with his arms crossed.

“Why would you think such a thing?” I asked softly, lowering my eyes.

“For several reasons. One, someone your age just do not come halfway across the world to an unfamiliar city to ‘rediscover’ themselves. And second, Han Na talks about you all the time, so I know the story.” He looked slightly sympathetic when saying the last part. “I wanted to meet the person who Han Na protected so dearly.”

“So, is this an interview, or did you just want to meet me because of the story?” I felt ashamed that Han Na told her coworkers about my predicament, but in a way, I could not blame her either. If I was in the same shoes I probably would have done the same thing. I am sure she wanted to spread the news of a roommate. Then there would be questions about me.

“Both. I do need a secretary to help me with a project I am currently on. We are very swamped with a new children’s project and I could use an extra set of hands.” A boyish smile crept across his face. I could feel the infatuation creep deeper.

I straightened my posture in the chair. There felt to be an unspoken tension, but a good one creating more intrigue than defense. I felt a warm smile cross my face as his eyes focused intently on mine. I pushed my blonde hair back to see if that would break his gaze. It did not.

“Mr. Park, I may not have the most experience, but I will do my best if you just give me a chance. I am a quick learner. I promise I will not disappoint you,” I said.

“Ms, Jager, as soon as I saw you in the office, I had every intention of hiring you.” He stood up from his chair. Walking around the desk he approached my chair. I stood up quickly. It was then I realized how tall his physique was over six feet with broad shoulders. He extended his hand out for a handshake. I took it instinctively.

“Welcome to the team. I will see you tomorrow,” he said with a charming smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Park.” I slightly bowed. “Thank you.”

He leaned closer after I straightened.

"You can call me Yu Jun," he whispered in my ear.