An Escape to a New Self

Awkward Encounter

The setting sun started to fill Mr. Park’s office with a soft glow. Sitting at his desk with piles of papers surrounding him, Yu Jun looked mesmerized in the soft light. I only noticed it when I walked into the office with a handful of stapled packets from the copier. His dark hair draped over his left eye while reading a memo. He pushed it to the side, but it would instantly fall back to its original position. I caught myself holding my breath not to disturb him, or maybe it was to soak up the scene for a few more moments.

He is a gorgeous man, I thought.

I cleared my throat. He looked up and smiled at me. It was a beautiful smile that caught me off-guard. I could feel my face redden, and I looked away. It seemed childish to be embarrassed about a guy smiling at me. I wonder how that looked to him. I needed to focus on handing him the packets in my hand, but instead, I stared at the floor.

“Are those for the children's publications?” He asked. I turned my head up and looked at him.

“Ahh, these. Yes, they are.” I sounded nervous. I went over and handed them to his outstretched hand.

He flipped through one of the packets before setting them all down on his desk. He looked pleased. His dark brown eyes looked up at me, and another careless smile crept across his face. I did not know if I should look away again, but I held it for a moment. As I did this, my heart started racing, and my palms sweat.

“Ms. Jager, you have worked very hard.” He referred to me this way because I told him from the beginning, making me comfortable. “How about we get a drink since we are the last two to leave the office?”

“Mr. Park, Han Na will be waiting for me. I am sure she will worry if I am any later. Thank you for the offer, though.” My voice wavered slightly. I gave him a small smile.

“That is disappointing.” He stood up and walked toward me. His tall stature made me look up to see his face. I could see his dark eyes peering into mine. I almost wanted to reach up and put my hand on his chest to feel if his heart beat as fast as mine, but I resisted. I assumed he could hear my heart beating out of my chest. Surely, it echoed throughout the office. I took one step back to give myself some space from his intent gaze.

“I...I…I should get going,” I stammered, still holding on to his gaze. My hand grazed the edge of the desk to give me a bearing.

He answered me by stepping closer and placing one of his arms around my waist. I could feel his hand on the small of my back. His eyes looked deeply into mine. I held my breath as he placed his hand on my face. He inched his face closer to me while holding an intense gaze. My mind reeled. In a way, I wanted the momentary feeling of lust, the connection two people create when there is chemistry. The lack of physical contact created a strong sense of getting caught up in the scene.

Get it together, Cat!! My mind screamed as I still held Yu Jun’s gaze. This will complicate things!

I heeded my words and stepped back once again, breaking his hold. Yu Jun looked stunned for a moment, standing in the middle of the office. I quickly made my way to the door and yanked it open swiftly.

“Mr. Park, I am sorry.” I nodded slightly as I said this. “But this is a bad idea. I wish you a good evening. Please get home safely.”

I quickly made my way to the end of the hallway to the receptionist's desk. I placed my items there because I intended to leave after delivering the packets to Mr. Park. I grabbed my bag and made my way toward the elevator. I turned to look down the hall to see Mr. Park’s office light still on. My heart raced. With bated breath, I took a moment to see if Yu Jun made his way down the hallway.

I told Han Na this was no rom-com, I thought. However, I could not get myself into an office romance. It could end messy. I was healing from a broken engagement and did not need to throw myself into another relationship. I had to figure out how to act on Monday when I returned to the office. The entire weekend would now be filled with various situations playing out in my head. I could feel the anxiety already balling up in my stomach.

My phone chimed. I turned it on to see a message from Han Na on the screen.

Going out with some old classmates. Want to join?

I sighed as I made my way to the elevator. I wanted to go out more than anything, but I did not want to be with a group of people who I did not know. A group setting where you are the newcomer gives one a sense of being an outcast. They would laugh at old memories and jokes to have me sit at the table, drinking beer and pretending to be having fun. That took too much energy. I decided to text Han Na back, telling her to have fun. There was a bar close to the apartment, so I would hit there to drink in silence and dread Monday, Or I could stop by the small convenience store and grab a couple of beers.

Just going to head home. Have fun! I texted back to her.

My phone started ringing. I assumed Han Na needed to insist on my coming, but the number I did not know showed on my screen. When I came here, Han Na gave me one of her old phones. Back at home, I would never answer these types of calls because they would be spam calls. Here, though, I answered in English. The party on the other end would abruptly hang up if it were a wrong number. Sometimes, Han Na called me from her friend’s phone. I swiped the button and brought it to my ear.

“Hello,” I said.

“Umm…Yeoboseyo,” the voice on the other line said. “Is this Cat?”

“Speaking,” I replied. “Who is this?”

“Oh good,” the voice replied, sounding relieved. “This is Jae. You remember the guy who shared a taxi with you a while ago.”

My mind flashed to the guy who jumped into my cab in Gangnam. His unconventional attire and demeanor caught me off-guard. It did not turn into an unpleasant ride home, and he did pay for it. He did send my number to his phone. I just never added it to my contacts because who in their right mind keeps some random number from a stranger? The chances of someone calling you again were slim, so I never added people to my contacts.

“Yes, I remember you.” I made my way out of the building and started to walk toward the bus stop. The night air felt cool, making me wish I remembered a sweater. The walk to the bus station only took a few minutes, so I took comfort in knowing I would soon be on the bus heading toward my neighborhood.

“I am glad you remember me. It has been some time, so I feared you would not pick up.” He sounded happy on the other side. “So what are you doing?”

I sighed, “I am just leaving the office. I am heading home.”

“Are you driving?”

“No, I am making my way to the bus stop.” I wondered if he was bored. I wondered this because this call seemed so out of the blue.

“Where is your office? I am driving, so if you are close, I will come and get you.”

“Myeong-dong,” I replied.

“Great! I am close by. Will you meet me at that coffee place with all the cats in there?” He sounded excited to be so close to my location.

“The cat coffee place?” I never explored Myeong-Dong except for the shopping street and restaurants we walked to during our lunch break.

“Never mind,” Jae said. “You know where the cathedral is, right?”

I looked up to see the Myeong-Dong Cathedral ahead of me. I rolled my eyes, but I knew that Jae would not be able to see this. I felt the need to do it because the cathedral was a structure you would not miss. It was a beautiful Catholic church. I personally never went in, but I walked up the stairs one early evening while waiting for Han Na to finish a project. I looked up at the clock on the steeple and the stained glass windows. The brief outing left me with a permanent landmark to get a bearing if I felt I had lost my way.

“I do,” I answered, trying to hide my annoyance.

“OK, almost across the street is the Royal Hotel. I will meet you there in like fifteen minutes.” He hung up the phone before I could answer that I would meet him there.

I slowly walked down the street towards the hotel. My brain raced, piecing together the event that happened with Yu Jun. I could picture him standing before me with his dark brown eyes gazing into mine. In those few moments, I felt my entire world disappear; only Yu Jun and I were there in the small environment we had created. Of course, reality crept into my head. I knew it was not right, so I fled, but why did I? Was I not allowed to find happiness? Was Han Na right that I slowly started to melt my icy heart? I was healing, but was I ready to pursue something new?

Being lost in the thoughts led my feet to the Royal Hotel before I knew it. I stood in front, looking like I knew what I was doing. Not sure how much time passed, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I texted Jae that I was standing in front of the hotel. He responded that he would be there in a moment. I sighed heavily. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a car stopping.

“Cat!” A voice called out from a black Kia Stinger. I could see an arm waving me over.

I made my way to the car window. Inside, Jae sat behind the wheel. His blonde hair was once again covered with a baseball cap. No mask covered half of his face. I studied his slim face for a moment. I felt unsure if the person in the car was the same one I encountered in the taxi until I looked into his eyes. The brown eyes told me it was Jae.

“Are you going to get in the car? Or are you just going to stand there gawking?” He asked.

“I am getting in,” I answered. I walked to the front passenger side and sat down.