I’m sorry dad.

A week before his death.

****NADOU AKABA.****

I had just come back from school when I saw him following a newspaper about drug dealers.

Ah, those people! I remember that at that time, the country was in a very bad way because of them.

Young people were spending their time using destructive substances, which was causing a lot of damage.

I remember that once in the second grade, one of my classmates had an overdose and died on the spot. I was shocked, but thankfully my father was there to comfort me and I could see how hard he and his team were working to stop it.

When I saw the paper, I found it interesting and took a seat next to him to accompany him.

- Hi Dad, apparently this story is gaining momentum?

- Yes, my daughter! Did you get home okay? How was your day?

- Yes daddy and you? Did you have a good rest today?

- Yes my dear, except that I am very disappointed you know! I've been in the police force for thirty-five years and I've never been able to arrest the person behind this case! I arrest people who work for him but I never manage to get my hands on him and that disappoints me a lot!

- But no dad, don't be disappointed!

I gave him a big hug and reminded him how good he was and that if anyone was already behind bars, it was because of him.

I had so much admiration for him and still do.

Even though my mother died when she was in a hospital bed giving birth to me, he remained strong for me. He raised me until I was seventeen and did so very well.

When she died, he suffered a lot emotionally. I remember him trying his best not to cry in front of me for fear of hurting me but once in his room he would burst into tears and when I went to see him he would tell me his eyes hurt but I knew that wasn't true and he would tell me so I wouldn't feel bad.

After that hug and the comforting words I whispered to him, he asked me to bring him his notebook.

- Please go ahead, I just realized a very important detail that could help me settle this story once and for all!

He said this as he abruptly got up from the couch and walked over to the television.

He became as if frozen in front of it. He took off his glasses, wiped his eyes and put them back on.

Then, he took the remote control and clicked on the "pause" button.

I went to his room to bring him back what he had asked me.

- Here, Dad, is your notebook! Can you please tell me more about it?

He smiled as he looked at me. Then he clicked the "play" button before writing some things down in his notebook.

- You're still a minor, honey! I promise you that when you are eighteen, I will answer your question and by that time, this story will already be solved! Go to your room and rest like you do every Friday night, dear!

I smiled and went. It's true that I was exhausted. I was under too much pressure at school because of the upcoming baccalaureate. The teachers were always reminding us that we had to study and it became unbearable but there was nothing we could do about it.

A soft and peaceful sleep made me forget about this pressure but only for about an hour since the noises my father was making and the person he was on the phone with woke me up.

I went to the kitchen to make dinner before going back to the living room to see him. He had already finished talking on the phone and was doing what looked like drawings on a map.

- What are you doing dad? I asked him before putting the food on the corner of the table that was unoccupied.

- Nothing, honey, nothing," he said in a rather calm tone before taking the card out and folding it, and then he went to put it in his room before coming back.

- This soup smells great! I'm going to enjoy it!

He sat down, served himself and started to drink this good soup made with vegetables.

I stood there, frozen like a house, waiting for him to say something to change my state. He noticed, took a deep breath and asked me:

- What's wrong, my dear?

- Are you hiding things from me now?

- What do you mean by that? He retorted.

- First you tell me you found out something, then you talk on the phone for a long time with someone and now I see you drawing pictures on the card but you tell me it's nothing and as if that wasn't enough, you go and keep it in your room.

He stopped drinking the soup and told me:

- There is nothing Nadou!

I told you that I found an important information and it's true but I can't tell you more! You're a minor my dear and I want to protect you. Who knows? Maybe there are cameras and microphones in this house! I am the great Markus Akaba and the drug dealers don't like me because they know how effective I am even if I am not 100%. If I tell you this information and they kidnap and kill you afterwards, what am I going to do, my dear? Please don't insist! Soon you will be eighteen! We'll go somewhere safe to talk about it, okay? Unless he has microphones and GPS in my body to hear and locate us.

After giving me all these explanations, I understood him. He was right not to tell me anything and if I had been in his shoes, I would have done the same.

Several days passed. I would go to school and my father would go to work and we would meet at home in the evening. He would tell me about his days without going into detail and I would tell him about mine in great detail.

I remember it was a Friday night and while we were having dinner he asked me if I had a boyfriend. It was the first time he had ever asked me that. I must admit that I was surprised but very happy because it proved that as a father he was very interested in my life.

- No dad, I don't have one!

- I didn't know that because you never introduced me to anyone and then, when I walk by you and you talk on the phone, it's never about love but about friendship!

- When I fall in love with a boy and he loves me back, I'll tell you dad! But that hasn't happened yet!

- I see!

- I don't know what it means to be in love for a girl. It's crazy but it's true! When I see my friends with their boyfriends, I wonder how they feel inside. I once asked one of them and she said, "It's an amazing feeling because you love this person more than anything. You can't imagine your life without them. She is like a part of you and when she is not there, you feel like you don't exist anymore.

He burst out laughing before asking me what I said.

- I didn't say anything dad! I just realized that this is a feeling I haven't experienced yet, that's all!

- I understand it! It will come, my dear, don't worry! You're still young and can concentrate on your studies without anyone stealing your time!

- That's the advantage of being single, haha!

We laughed that night and then he took me in his arms and we watched a movie together.

The next morning was Saturday and he went out after promising to come home early so we could have dinner together.

He was a little nervous this morning and seemed very agitated. When I think back on it, I realize that my hunch had fallen at the time.

If I had known that I would not see him alive again, I would not have let him walk through the door of the house.

To be continued...