Only Human

Holly

    I slowly opened my eyes, they were stinging and puffy from where I'd been crying the night before. I felt a weight on the bed as the mattress dipped behind me. I turned over to see Adam sat on the edge of the bed with his back to me. He was fully dressed in a shirt and jeans, his blonde hair had been washed and styled. I looked over and noticed his suitcase by the door. 

    Before I had chance to open my mouth he started to speak "Holly I'm uh, I'm going home. I think you should stay. You need this". 

    I reached for his hand and held it with mine. He didn't pull away. I knew it was over, it had been for a while. I don't know why we booked this trip, I just don't think either of us wanted to face it. I stayed holding his hand for a few minutes, his body never turning to face me. I was surprised at how I felt. I wasn't happy or sad. I felt relieved. 

    "I'm sorry" I finally whispered. My voice was rough from a combination of crying and sleep. 

    He finally turned to look at me, starring right into my eyes and said "So am I". He pulled his hand out of my grasp and walked towards the door, dropping the car keys on the TV unit as he walked past. 

    "You keep the car. I'll get a taxi to the airport" he said, and turned back around to face me once more. "Take care of yourself. I'll try and be out of the house by the time you get back" 

    And with that he turned, opened the door and was gone. I lay there on the bed for another 10 minutes, thinking over what had just happened. I was now left in a foreign country, on my own. Usually this would have terrified me, but I didn't feel scared at all. I felt strangely fine. It was almost like I had been waiting for him to leave me, all this time thinking I wanted him to love me again when really I just wanted him to go. I knew deep down there was no way we could go back, not after everything that had happened and it was clear that neither of us could move past the events that had caused all this to happen. Would I be lonely? Sure. But I'd been lonely for months now. 

    I showered quickly while deciding what I would do today. I was in California for the next 3 weeks, and I was going to enjoy every second of it doing the things I wanted to do. I decided I would spend the day at the beach, so I got dressed into my black bikini, pulling on a sundress overtop to cover me. I left my hair wet and curly, it would soon dry in the heat. I stuffed my beach towel, book, suncream and phone into my bag, grabbed the car keys and headed out the door. 

    The sun was shining so brightly I quickly popped my sunglasses on. I walked the path from the cabin back to the Welcome Centre to grab a cup of coffee. As I walked through the door I was greeted by an older lady with curly black hair and a big smile. 

    "Good morning! How are you today?" she asked cheerfully. 

    "I'm good thank you, how are you?" I replied, removing my sunglasses so I could look at her. I made my way over to the coffee machine and began pouring some into a takeaway cup. 

    "Very well thank you. Heading to the beach today?" she asked, looking at the beach bag on my shoulder. 

    "Yes, I was thinking about it. Do you know any good beaches around here?" 

    "There is a beautiful beach, just a 10 minute walk through the trees over there" she said pointing in the direction of the beach. "It's very secluded so not too many visitors. Perfect for reading your book". 

    I looked at her and smiled. How did she know that's exactly what I was looking for? Somewhere to relax and read. 

    I thanked her, popped my sunglasses back on and made my way in the direction she had shown me. The walk through the forest was amazing. It was so quiet and peaceful here, I could hear every bird and animal. I took it slow, taking the time to drink my coffee and take it all the sights and sounds. 

    After a leisurely stroll I eventually made my way to a clearing in the trees where I could see the bright white sand. I stepped out onto the beach and was greeted with that beautiful salty sea air. I closed my eyes and breathed it all in. This was where I was meant to be. 

    I walked straight up the shore line, the water was so crystal clear and blue. I slipped off my flip flops and dipped my feet in. The warm water felt like heaven, as I started to sink into the sand. I stood like this for a few minutes, just feeling the sun on my skin. 

    I turned around to see what else was here. Not much. The beach was small, surrounded by the forest and a footpath that ran along the tree line. There was an old fashioned ice-cream truck parked at the edge of the beach where the trees met the sand. I could see a family further up, with 3 young boys with tanned skin and dark black hair running around playing with a ball. We were the only people here. 

    I picked a spot not far from where I had come in and set up my beach towel. I removed my dress and applied a thick layer of suncream all over. My pale skin was likely to burn in this heat. Once finished I lay down on my front, placing my sunglasses onto my head, grabbed my book and started to read. 

___

    I had been reading for a while when I felt someone watching me. I turned my head to the side to see a tall, tanned man starring at me. I smiled at the stranger. There was something about this man, I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was absolutely gorgeous, I'd never seen a man like this. Out of the corner of my eye I could see another man lingering close by. He was also tall, had tanned skin and beach blonde hair. I could see he was watching us, his eyes darting from the stranger to me and back again. 

    "Is he OK?" I asked the blonde haired man. The tall strangers gaze was still on me and the silence was starting to make me uncomfortable. I sat up, saving my place in my book and throwing it onto the towel. I made my way over to them, and could feel the dark haired man's eyes all over me. I suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious as I realised I was only wearing my bikini. 

    As I stopped in front of him, I starred into his eyes. The blonde haired guy was now standing at his side, carefully watching both of us. 

    "Anybody home?" I said, waving my hand in front of the strangers face. He seemed like he was in a trance. 

    "Noah!" the blonde man shouted, making me jump a little. The dark stranger finally tore his eyes away from me to look at his friend. 

    "Noah?" I asked. The name suited him. Now I was this close I could see just how beautiful this man really was. He had bright green eyes and olive tanned skin. His dark black hair was cut short on the sides and slightly longer on top which was spiked. He had a strong jaw line, and I could see his toned body even through his t-shirt. 

    I realised I'd been staring a little too long and held out my hand to introduce myself. 

    "Nice to meet you Noah, I'm Holly"

    His hand touched mine and I instantly felt sparks erupt over my entire body. I starred up into his eyes, watching to see if he felt it too. I suddenly noticed the butterflies that had filled my stomach and felt my cheeks flush. Why did he make me feel so nervous? Realising he was still holding onto my hand I slowly removed it from his grip and turned my attention to the blonde haired man as he started to speak. I'd completely forgotten he was here. 

    "I'm Caleb. It's nice to meet you too" he said, moving his gaze from Noah to me. I smiled at him, grateful that he had broken the tension. 

    "Are you both from around here?" I asked, looking from Caleb to Noah, who hadn't yet said a word. 

    "Yeah, not far from here. We come past this beach everyday on our run" Caleb stated. "Are you here visiting?" 

    "Yes, I'm on holiday. I'm from England, but I guess you knew that already" I said, rolling my eyes at my own comment. I blushed again. What was happening to me? 

    "Are you here alone, Holly?" a strange voice asked. I turned my head to the direction of the sound to see it was Noah who had spoken. His voice was deep and smooth. It made my stomach flip. 

    My eyes not leaving his I spoke softly "Yes. I was here with my boyfriend but he left this morning". 

    Noah's eyes fell to the ground and a strange look came over his face. Had I done something to upset him?  Was it something I'd said? 

    "Why did he leave? California not good enough for him?" Caleb joked, breaking the tension again. Thank god he was here. 

    "Uh, we broke up actually. It's a really long story". As I said it hit me. We had broken up just this morning. And here I was standing in front of 2 gorgeous men in my tiny bikini. All I could think about what that spark when Noah had touched me, and how guilty I felt. 

    I hadn't noticed that Noah was now starring at me again, his green eyes filled with light and excitement once more. I couldn't help but smile at him and for the first time he smiled back. Oh lord, what a smile it was. I couldn't help but stare at his mouth and think about how much I wanted to kiss it. What was wrong with me? 

    "Do you have any plans later?" Noah asked. Did sitting alone in my hotel room with a bottle of vodka count as plans? 

    "No I don't have any plans" 

    "A few of us are heading to a bar nearby, Rollins, if you'd like to come along?" he asked. Was he asking me out? I knew it probably wasn't a good idea to go out with 2 guys I'd just met, but I was also alone in a new place where I didn't know anyone or any places to go. 

    "Sure, I'd love to. Although I've only been here a day so I've no idea where that is" I laughed. I wasn't sure I even knew the way back to the cabin. 

    "I can pick you up later and we can go together?" Noah asked, still smiling at me. It was more of a statement than a question. I nodded. Something about him was pulling me in and I wanted to know more about this man. 

    Both Noah and Caleb waited while I collected my things from the beach. I threw my dress back on, stuffed everything else back into my bag and they walked with me through the trees back to my cabin. We stopped outside the door and I let them know this was where I was staying. Noah told me he'd pick me up at 8pm. I walked into the cabin and turned to close the door, both Noah and Caleb watching me the whole time. 

    Once inside I dropped my bag on the floor and threw myself onto the bed. I started to replay the conversation we'd just had over in my head. Why was Noah starring at me so much and why was it so intense? Did he feel that spark when we touched, or was that something I'd imagined? And most importantly, what was I going to wear tonight?