The Unforgivable Mate Curse (long story ongoing)

What is normal?

Brielle P.O.V

Why does everything look different? I know I am doing the same thing I ever did, but something is different like is the life of someone else and not mine or that I am living another life. The dinner was ‘normal’ the food lost its taste, I responded to the questions I could, but sometimes I would get lost, and everything seems like I was inside a movie. I look at the family I know and love, but it’s different, I don’t feel it. I just know I love them and that they love me in the way that it was to be.

After dinner I went to the back porch, there is a place in the corner where we have a swing chair. I sat there looking at the back yard where everything started and I could not feel a thing, I should feel sad, so why?

Then everything changed, the three-dimensional porch became two-dimensional, and everything was like a picture like my brain was breaking reality. I bend my legs and got my feet up the swig, and closed my eyes while touching my tattoo, a small light appeared in it, and when I opened my eyes again everything was back to normal. I sight.

The next days, seems like I was inside a movie, the first three days, was mostly stuffing me with food, and the last two days I went back to training with the pups.

The first day I had a hard time getting out of the house even to get to the training ground, that was just after the back yard, I got to the yard but the memories of babies crying in the woods, and the pups covered in blood, made me have a panic attack. I froze in the middle of the yard. Only when Chadrick got me closer to him, and Natasha chants I got back to normal. I was still very reluctant in seeing the pups, I don’t know why.  Chadrick reassured me that the pups are ok, and in small steps grabbing Chadrick arms I went to the training ground. My heart was almost at my mouth when we got there. I heard my name in the pup’s mouth jumping to come to me only to be stopped by a Natasha that said that I was still recovering so they have to be careful with me. I looked around and saw Patrice looking at me with a smile, and Vicktor was there also looking at me.

I just watched the first day, the pup’s asked a lot of questions, but they got tired seeing I was only responding yes or no, sometimes I got confused with the questions. The training at a point became a movie like I was seeing the frames pass by, I had to close my eyes several times to get back to normal. “It is fine, the pups are fine.” I keep telling myself.

On the second day, I join the training, but I lose balance sometimes because the three-dimension turned two-dimension every time someone did something my way. And I had to close my eyes to adjust again. It was like seeing the world from the outside, and it was as if I did not fit in it.

Every member of my family was around me, asking questions, about I would feel, if I was hungry if it hurt somewhere, most of the question I could not find the words to tell them exactly how I feel. I don't know how to feel anymore, I say, yes, no, maybe when I felt too much, and my head started spinning and I started panicking. Not being able to answer to most natural questions made me panic. ‘I know this, but why can’t I tell them?’ I always see them looking straight into my eyes, and remember what the Moon Goddess told, that my eyes would change according to my feelings, is this what she means? Since I can’t say what I feel she made my eyes speak for me.

I am now in my room, looking in my full-size mirror, my body is recovering. Since I am human, it takes time, to get my curves back again, I don’t know what to feel about this.

A knock on the door and I say to come in. Elder Silvanie opens the door.” Can I talk to you a little?” I nod looking at the mirror again. “You look better.” She goes behind me and puts her hands on my arms. “I suppose so.” She frowns at my answer but changes her expression to a small smile. “Let us sit on the bed to talk or do you prefer the balcony?” I look at her. “Balcony.” The only place I could go without a panic attack, even my bed sometimes got difficult to relax. She opened my windows wide it was a sunny day with a light wind, not cold, so it was easy to stay on the balcony. “Brielle, are you being able to sleep?” I sat on a chair with a little table I have there. “Elder Natasha gives me an orb to sleep. I don’t remember anything when I wake up.” Sitting across me. “Elder Natasha will not always be here for you. I will try to help you discover how to deal with what you are feeling.” I wait for her to get comfortable. “What if I do not feel anything?” She places her body so that she is facing me. “The feelings are there, you just have a mental block because of what you saw in the dreams, and the curse, that is not letting you recognize them. How do you see everything around you?” I blink my eyes a few times. “Like a movie, or pictures, paintings.” She seems a professional analyzing me.” That means your brain is transforming or day to day reality, in a way that is easy for you to see it. What do you think when that happens?” I think for a few seconds. “Someone else life not mine. I am seeing a movie about someone, and I do not take part in it.” Keeps looking into my eyes. “How do you do to get out of those stages?” I look at my tattoo. “I close my eyes and touch Ashriel, when I open is all back to normal.” “She helps you get back to yourself. Anything else?” I nod no.

“We need to find ways of getting back to the normal self. When Chadrick is next to you or touches, you seem to calm down. Do you sense something when he touches you?” I nod. “No, just that he is familiar.” She seems to think a bit look at the forest ahead. “Maybe that is it, things you already know before the curse, helps your body feel safe and secure. Still is not enough. Let’s train your responses, since you can’t tell what you are feeling, try using comparations with things you already know, like movies, or scenes you saw. For example, when you are feeling anger, just say, like, and red wolf." I was wanted to know one thing. "You can read my emotions?” She looks back at me. “You mean the gift that the Moon Goddess gave you?” And I nod. “If it was not told, it will be difficult to find out. Not like your iris turns completely in that color, is a small fragment only, and for seconds. When is too intense we can see it in full color. Still in your everyday life, is better if people do not find out about that. It might scare them.” And another thing. “When can I go to school?” She smiled. “That is something we still have not talked about, depends on the way your training goes, and how much you can return to your normal life." I look at my hands. I doubt, my future. "If I cannot return?” Her eyes changed her smile vanished. “That is a grey area, you will not leave the pack, your family would never allow it." I was not able to meet her eyes anymore. There is pressure in my chest.  “What if a become a burden to them?” Her voice was soft. “You will never be a burden, my child." I then look at her. I know she must be feeling a lot. "But someday.” She nods her head to get rid of dark thoughts “Think now, making you better, is the best we can do for now, make you be able to have a normal life." I was sure of one thing. "I will never have a normal life.” Her eyes widen. “Never say never Brielle, you have hope, she gave you hope. Always Believe in you and us.”

I just look far away from her, the big forest near the packhouse, once I had a future, I wanted to go to study in Business & Management in Negotiation & Conflict Management to help my brothers since I was a human I could not do pack business. But now, what is the point? I can’t even leave the house without a panic attack, how am I going to help? “Brielle.” I look back at her. “You still have a future we just must help you be normal in your way. You must train your way of seeing the world now.” I understand she wants the best for me.  “My way of seeing the world.” She then sits back again. “Yes, your way! Even if it seems like it's not your life, you are the only one seeing it and people around you will still interact the same as always. We just must find a new way for you to express yourself. And once you find that you can go back to the world and do your future.”

“My future!” I know it must look like I do not care but maybe is ok. I can get one, she will help me go forward every time. I look at my tattoo, yes, Ashriel is always with me.

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Meanwhile…

‘Whispers’ “Milady” She sits on the bottom of the tree near the roots. “Do have news of the 10 cursed children?”

‘Whispers’ “The spies have not found anything about a human child.” Hiss “She must be in hiding. They always have a way to hide her from me, but never for too long.  And the spies in the Royal Castle?”

‘Whispers’ “No words yet Milady. The Elders of the castle did not have any visit since then.” She stands up and starts walking around the tree. “She must not be in perfect wealth yet. Hmmm. If she does not kill herself in the next month, we will try once again. Say to everyone to stay low and train, we might need the warriors soon.

‘Whispers’ “Yes, Milady.”