Lines Undrawn

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Okay, so maybe I was being a little dramatic the more I thought about it. I hadn’t paid as much attention to David these days as I used to. It killed me every time he tried to make conversation with me, because I’d brushed him off with being busy or had given him some kind of curt response. It’d been about a week since I’d caught him with Brit. Then again, I hadn’t talked to her, either. I’d simply hung out at the beach just minutes of a walk away, and I’d read as much as I could from my list of summer reads. Mom was at least going to join me in a bit after having spent enough time with Pascual Rodriguez, as if the honeymoon phase between them had yet to melt away for having dated for a while.

That Sunday afternoon, I sat on my beach towel above the sand, realizing how much I’d missed the warm weather. I’d chosen to attend a college where it snowed, since I’d always wanted to experience snow for a change. It was okay way up in northern Michigan, and I was still on the swim team there, but the temperature was still something I had to adapt to. I often bundled up even when most didn’t have to. I never had to do that here off the eastern coast of Florida.

I grabbed my bottle of sunscreen and slathered on a generous amount anywhere I could reach. Every time I thought about David, I got both hard and gooey at the same time. After having caught him with Brit and drinking in his naked torso, I’d jacked off several times a day on the first few days to all sorts of naughty fantasies about him. He was a total stud for his age, so it wasn’t as if it were a shock other guys my age would ever do the same. A DILF for sure, if he had kids.

“Need some help, Benito?”

“Hey, Mom.” I smiled cautiously at her and hid my growing b***r well enough by repositioning myself. I actually enjoyed every moment I spent with her, and we usually had a great time at the beach, especially whenever we chatted about various topics and horsed around in the water with her still-playful self.

She kneeled from behind and took the bottle from me. She didn’t have to ask, really. She poured some into her hand and got my whole back and shoulders in no time, knowing all too well how easily I burned for being on the lighter side.

“Glad you finally made the time to hang out with me.” Of course, I could never tell her what had happened. No matter how upset I was, or how conflicted or jealous I felt about David and Brit being together, I’d never had it in me to rat them out. That was their business and not Mom’s. Though, I’d been making it my business as well lately, so I wasn’t as innocent as Mom probably still saw me as. She didn’t even know about any of the hookups I’d had in college, even though she knew I was gay and fully supported it.

“You know, mi hijo, after I came home from church today, it got me thinking. Maybe God has plans for David and it’s why he’s changed. Well, he’s changed because of you, of course. Lord knows I gave up after I dealt with too much of his alcoholism.” She let out a soft chuckle. “But you didn’t.”

I swallowed a lump in my throat and stared at the mild waves of the Atlantic without saying a word. The truth was, I’d helped him for reasons I could never begin to explain to Mom. Reasons she’d never support. Sure, she attended a queer-affirming church and had some gay friends, but she considered age-gap relationships predatory and held tightly onto that belief. Plus, her idea of a man for me definitely wouldn’t ever include the very man she took into her home and looked at as a father figure to me. That wasn’t to say I’d ever get lucky enough to date David, but I admitted that I had some kind of hope dangling inside my thoughts, especially after his confession.

“I hope God can cure him, though. He’s a little off in ways I don’t feel comfortable telling you about, but I know he has a good heart.”

What ways made David off? I was left with hunger for more information. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, it’s nothing for you to worry about.” Her face glowed when she stared at me, and she pinched my cheek. “Mi Benito conejito.” She always said it with a high pitch that made me turn red.

I rolled my eyes. “Mom…I’m not your little rabbit anymore. I’m a man now.” I loved her to death, but I hated being treated like a kid. It was one of the other reasons I’d chosen to go to college as far away as possible, using a snowy experience as the perfect excuse. “How would you like it if people called you Elsita instead of Elsa as a grown woman?”

“Oh, I don’t care. You’ll always be my little Benito to me, mi vida.” Mom gave my left shoulder a gentle squeeze. She sighed and played with my short hair. “I know how much it means to you to have a father. That’s the main reason I let David live with us. I didn’t want you to lose a second one.”

“I mean, he keeps up with the rent.”

“Yes, I know.” She didn’t seem bothered since David was indeed a good roommate. She was right about one thing, though; I wouldn’t have minded having a better dad. At the same time, I didn’t want to look at David as a dad. I wanted to look at him as someone much more than that. He wanted me. How exactly did he want me, though? Just for s*x? It didn’t seem like him from the years I’d known him, but I also didn’t know this whole new side about him. Well, new to me, anyway.

My phone buzzed, and I grabbed it quickly. It was a text from Brit telling me how sorry she was and asking if I was still mad. She told me that it was just a s****l fling and nothing more, and that she didn’t feel that she needed my permission to hook up with David.

I didn’t bother with a reply and laid the phone face down on the towel. The truth was, she was right. She didn’t need my permission and could see whomever she wanted. It still didn’t change the fact that the very guy she had to get involved with happened to be the one I wanted. She didn’t know that, of course, but still.

And God, did I want David with every hardening inch of my c**k and every fluttery beat of my heart.