Rough Desire

Chapter 10

Ava Pov:

"Ahhh why hasn't he called yet!" I threw the phone back down onto the bed. This was so unlike me. I was never really the type to get attached to someone, never really felt the need to have a man in my life because I never found one that could hold my attention but now I had and I hated it.  I was frustrated, I was angry but most of all I felt like a damn fool. He had made it clear from the beginning that this was all just a bit of fun but I had still let myself believe that there would be a chance between us. Could you blame me though, Who wouldn't want to be with a man like that?

Although we barely knew each other I felt like there was some type of connection between us. His sarcastic personalities fit so perfectly with mine and that was something I rarely found. When most people would usually take offence to my smart ass comments he choose to threw them back at me. Now was I really going to sit here and let that go?

Hearing the noises outside I quickly went over to the window and carefully peaked through the curtain. I watched as he walked out of the house a girl hanging off his arm, their laughter made my stomach twist. I never thought I'd be the jealous type but all I wanted to do right now was rip her arm away and replace it with mine. Only a few weeks ago we were together, I couldn't understand how he could get back to his life normally as if nothing had happened between us. I struggled to do the same no matter how hard I tried I found myself thinking about him, found myself craving the feelings I got when his hands were on my body. I missed how he handled me, how he was so rough but at the same time there was a touch of care in how he moved. Had I mistaken that care for something more when in fact it was all just part of an act he had rehearsed many times before with god knows how many other girls. It would make sense but why was I refusing to believe that. Why couldn't I just couldn't let this go. 

I already knew my parents where going to be home quite late tonight maybe I should go over there. Maybe I could just say Hi hows it going? and tell him I was just checking up on him or maybe I could say Hi I just came over to see if you wanted to f**k again then if he says no I'll just drop to my knees and start begging for it till he drags me inside and gives it to me good. Whoa okay that thought process just escalated real fast. Yeah maybe lets not do that. Whatever I was going to do I knew I had to deiced it fast. I didn't know where he was going or when he would be back but I had to be ready. I just hope he did come back ....and was alone.

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I had barely began getting ready when the sound of a car engine caught my attention. I pulled the oversize jumper back over my head and ran over to get a closer look. A taxi had pulled into the driveway and as I guessed his father stumbled out the back seat cursing at the driver. The moment the man had closed the car door the taxi hurriedly drove off leaving the drunken man struggling to make his own way to the front pouch. I couldn't help but feel pity for him. I silently watched as the man threw his head back and gulped another large amount from the glass bottle in his hand before he hang his body over the front rails as he lazily stared off into the distance. What had he been though that had left him desperately wanting to escape his own mind so much.

And where was the rest of the family? Was there no mother, no other siblings, no extended family, was it really just Dean and his dad? You could hardly even say his dad was even around anyway so it was pretty much just Dean on his own. Was that why he constantly had women come and go. Was this man trying to fill a gap in his life left by his own parents? 

My parents hardly got drunk so I couldn't understand the things he must have been through but I could relate to the feeling of being alone. Even though I knew my parents loved me and did what they had to do to provide for us as I child it still hurt me to feel like I wasn't their first priority. They couldn't blame me as a child I didn't understand their responsibilities I only understood the lonely feeling it had left me with but as I grew older I began to embrace it and soon it became a part of who I was. I used to chose not to let people in because I liked being alone but what if Dean is scared to be alone so uses girls as a distraction but after pushes them away because hes scared of letting someone in and being let down by yet another person.

The drunken man lifted the bottle back up to his lip as he prepared to down more of the alcohol. I shook my head at the sad thoughts running rapid in my mind and decided to move away from the window however at the moment it seemed his legs no longer could carry his weight and I watched as he tumbled over the rail and came crashing down hard onto the ground beneath him.  

Without even thinking my legs began racing on their own accord out of the house and towards him. All my previous thoughts replaced with one single thought. Please God let him be okay!