Love me after the lie

Chapter 9

Selene

Present Day – Morning

I hadn’t opened the file. I told myself I wouldn’t.

I could already feel it, that nagging whisper at the back of my mind, telling me I was just prolonging the inevitable. But I didn’t want to fall apart again. I couldn’t afford to. Not today. Not during the final interview.

I had my game face on. I had a plan.

I was going to walk into that room, ask the hard questions, get the answers I needed, and walk out with my dignity intact. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I dressed quickly—blazer, pencil skirt, the usual armor—and packed my things. Even the small flutter of nerves in my stomach couldn’t shake my focus.

I can handle this. I can do this.

But the moment I stepped into the Voss Enterprises building again, the weight of everything from yesterday hit me like a tidal wave. The security guard at the front desk gave me a tight smile, the kind that said he knew exactly who I was—and what I had been through.

I ignored it.

No time for distractions.

I was focused. Determined.

Xander was waiting for me when I reached the top floor. As soon as I saw him, I felt my pulse quicken, my breath hitch. He wasn’t just standing there, looking the same as he always had, sharp and commanding in his black suit. He was waiting. For me.

But that was just the thing. I wasn’t the same Selene.

I was stronger.

I would be professional. I would get through this.

“Ready?” he asked, voice low and careful.

I nodded. “Always.”

I took my seat across from him, ignoring the way my heart still stuttered when our eyes met. He looked like he had something to say, but I wasn’t going to let him speak until I got what I needed.

I opened my notebook and gave him my most detached look, even as the file he’d sent me sat heavy in the back of my mind, waiting for me to c***k.

“You said you were a coward,” I began. “So what would you call yourself now?”

Xander didn’t flinch. He sat back, studying me with that intense, unreadable gaze. “Trying to be better.”

I almost laughed, but I didn’t. Not this time. Not in front of him.

I could feel the file burning in my bag, but I kept my questions sharp and impersonal. No room for sentiment. Not when everything inside me was a mess of old wounds and new doubts.

I wasn’t going to open it. I couldn’t. Not yet.

Xander

Present Day

Her walls were back up. I’d known she’d put them there the moment she walked into the room. It was that look in her eyes—the one that said she had already decided who I was, and I was never going to be anything else.

But she was wrong.

She always had been.

She was asking the hard questions now, the ones I knew would test the limits of whatever fragile connection we still had. I could see the flicker of something in her—the part of her that still wanted the truth, the part that couldn’t let go of the past.

I could see it, and I hated that it was still so damn easy to get under her skin.

But I had to keep going. I had to give her everything, even if it meant laying myself bare.

“You said you were a coward,” she began, her pen moving swiftly over the page. “So what would you call yourself now?”

I let out a breath, knowing this was the moment. She was looking at me like I was the enemy, but she still needed me to answer. She still needed the truth. I could feel it in the air between us. The need. The hunger.

“Trying to be better,” I said, keeping my voice steady, though it felt like everything inside me was screaming for release.

She didn’t respond immediately. Instead, her eyes flickered to the file on the table. I saw her glance at it, then pull back, pretending it wasn’t there. I almost laughed at the way she was trying to control everything, but I kept myself in check. I had a plan now.

“You think trying is enough?” she asked, her voice almost too soft. “You think that’s a good enough answer?”

I leaned forward slightly, not breaking eye contact. “No, I don’t. But it’s the only one I have left.”

There it was. The raw honesty that had been buried for years. I hadn’t been able to speak it then. I had thought silence would protect us both. But now? Now, silence was killing me.

She didn’t say anything for a long moment. Just scribbled something down, her eyes focused, but her mind clearly elsewhere.

I pushed the envelope further.

“I’m not the same person I was then, Selene. But I am the person who still loves you. And I’m not running from that anymore.”

Her eyes flicked up to mine, surprise flashing across her face before she masked it again. But I saw it. I always saw it.

“You think saying that will change anything?” she asked, voice tight. She was trying so hard to be strong. Trying to distance herself from the storm I could feel raging just beneath her calm exterior.

I let the silence hang between us before I spoke again.

“I’m not asking for your forgiveness. Not yet. But I’m asking for the chance to show you the truth.” I reached into my bag and pulled out the USB drive. I pushed it toward her, not caring if it made her uncomfortable.

She stared at it, then at me, her gaze searching for something—anything—that might show her I wasn’t lying this time. I watched as her fingers hovered over it, as though the decision to open it might break her.

"That's the footage, isn’t it?" she asked, almost too quietly.

I nodded. “Everything you need to see.”

Her breath caught, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she looked uncertain. That was the truth I needed her to face.

But I could see the struggle in her eyes. She wasn’t ready. And I knew it. I knew her well enough to see that she wanted to deny what was in front of her.

I didn’t force her to take it.

"Just know this," I said softly, my voice rough with the weight of everything I’d never said before, "I never wanted you to walk away, Selene. I never wanted to lose you. But if you can’t forgive me for the past, I’ll live with that. But this is the truth. I won’t hide anymore."

She looked down at the USB drive again. Her hand reached out, fingers brushing it softly, and I swore I could feel the tremble in her touch from across the room.