QUORA DIARIES

TWENTY-TWO

This not a happy -go-lucky story but is a very heart touching one. You may bash Manik, but please don't. Everything out there is not a fairytale. ❤

Nandini's POV

Toady I will pour my heart out. This is the story of my broken marriage, my unborn child and my husband's attempted suicide and my destroyed life and a lovely start again.

I got married to the love of my life, Manik 8 years back, while we were in a relationship for 5 years before that. In all the pre marriage period, he barely introduced me to his parents and whenever he did, he made sure that I am never left alone with his parents, in his absence. I did not bother much back then.

The actual scene started when the marriage was to be decided. I am a doctor and so is Manik, but my mother in law started commenting on my looks, that I was much short in height, dusky in complexion and that I will never respect my husband because of my qualification. She used to call me at odd hours to express all these and even gradually my husband was becoming restless, agitated over small things, barely happy.

I was still interning and was extremely busy. I wish I had paused and thought about this marriage before it happened. But I did not. We were head over heels in love. On the day of reception, in front of all his relatives, his mother said how unlucky she was that I have completely turned his son against her. My parents were present right there but could not protest. They simply became numb. All the relatives heard when she expressed how disgraceful this marriage was to them. She continued her rant for sometime, where her sisters joined her as well. Manik was busy attending his friends when this happened.

My mother called me and said me not to say my husband anything since that would make him uneasy. She asked me to let the evening pass and talk to him later. That night, when all the ceremony was over, we went to bed and I was in no mood for s*x. My husband asked me what happened and I told him the incident.

He simply looked into my face and said, "I could never believe you could be such a liar. I don't believe you"

I was mortified. I asked him to talk to his side of relatives, which he refused to. On that special night, we had a fight where I demanded some simple courtesy and he refused to give me any support. I did not know this man. This was not the person whom I was in love with.

From next morning started the actual plight. He would not talk to me softly in front of his mother, or his mother would stop eating, thinking that his son is giving more importance to me than her. While life was living hell at home, we decided to meet outside, after our shifts were over, in the evening and talk before coming back home.

He reluctantly agreed but was worried the whole time that his mother will feel neglected. Such meetings continued, secretly but our romance, patience all was getting over. I tried to talk to my MIL, cook for her, sleep with her 3 days a week (leaving my husband), take her shopping. But nothing helped. She would go on silence and punish us by showing sadness all the time, cried occasionally for no reason and my husband could not understand what the hell he could do to make her happy.

Our fights started to increase as I demanded that he should stand up for me. He did not bother to care. I understand that it was a hell difficulty for his as well because the kind of emotional trauma he was facing was also beyond compare.

Then my internship was over and I took job in a private hospital in a different city and my husband shifted with me as well. The situation was horrible while we left my MIL's house but I was hoping some betterment in our relation. But as soon as we shifted, my husband died inside. He was always under this guilt of leaving his mother alone. Mind you, my mother was more aged than his and was living alone. Even I felt sad but then as a girl, I have no right to be sad. Gradually, my husband started to leave me alone here at weekends and go to his mother to stay. He started taking leaves because his mother would suddenly get sick and his father would give a call saying his mother has not eaten for 3 days because she is missing his son. I tried to accompany him but then my MIL would start ranting whenever she saw me. My husband told me that his mother is sick and does not want me around. So, I should be able to stay alone. I stayed. It was not a big deal.

But then I got pregnant. I decided to bring my mother to our house for my care. My husband was happy as well. My mother is a very happy cheerful lady and she finally made our depressing house a loving home. But even that was not to last. My MIL got to know that my mother was staying with us and she started tremendous mental torture. She used to cry to all her relatives at how I am making my husband a puppet and make them call my husband and explain how he should not allow my mother to stay with us. My husband is a decent man but could not take any more. He asked my mother to go back, when I was 4 month's pregnant. He told that his mother will come to help me out.

His mother came the very day my mother left. Then started the evil game. She became a sweet tremendously happy soul in front of his husband and extremely poisonous to me as soon as my husband was away. I was actually dying inside. I told my husband but he refused to believe saying that his mother was so happy with my pregnancy (not his mistake. That is what he was being shown). The mental torture finally got me. I got a miscarriage in the 5th month. I was critically ill and had to stay in the hospital for 14 days.

I returned home heart broken. The doctor asked me to consult a psychiatrist and said that mental stress could be a reason behind this miscarriage. My husband thought that I might have told the doctor all about his mother and was using the doctor to bring out my enmity with his mother. I did not protest. I did not care any more. I had lost my child and I did not see any pain in my husband for that. He was busy balancing between me and his mom, when I never made him choose.

I missed my child. I cried all day. Then one fine morning, I sent my cv to a few hospitals in my home town. Within 3 days, I got an interview call from 2 of them. I told my husband that I was going to meet my parents and left immediately. I cleared both the interview, took up the one which had less work pressure and informed my husband. He was shocked. He could not believe that I have actually decided to stay away from him. He tried to convince me but I knew I had had enough.

He started to visit me on his holidays but then his mother used to suddenly get ill or depressed. He tried to fight with his mother. For the first time, he tried. But soon, he failed. He was once again shackled in the emotional drama and gradually gave in. His visits to me became less frequent and even when he visited, he used to remain unmindful all the time.

I filed Divorce. He did not ask me to reconsider. He simply said that he could not balance us anymore. He will remain unmarried and be with his mother all his life. Within 8 months, we were divorced. Both of us knew that probably we could still go somewhere far and try once again but we were too tired for that. We gave up.

After the divorce, we stayed in touch sometimes. He used to ask me about my promotions, marriage plan. I used to ask him about his health. May be once in a few months. Then one day, he told me he was getting married. His mother had selected a girl for him. The girl was very beautiful and would be a house wife after marriage. I congratulated him. He asked me what he should do. I said that he should get married.

I got to know that his marriage was scheduled to happen in 6-7 months, I told him to date the girl for a while and let the girl spend enough time with her mom so that the same issue does not creep in again. He told me that the girl was absolutely his mother's choice and they both were great friends with each other. But he told me that he missed the chemistry we shared, with her. I told him that he should forget chemistry and think about peace. He has to marry the girl his mother wants, if he wants some kind of peace in his life. He stopped calling me.

Then, after 4 months around, I got a call from the police station that he had attempted suicide and police wanted to speak to me. I kept on asking the officer if he was actually alive, because I know, as a doctor, chances of his failed suicide was negligible. The police refused to give me any hint. I took a flight and reached there within some hours. I got to know that he was in ICU due to drug overdose. As a doctor he tried a full proof method and was not expected to live. The police showed me the suicide note, which was directed to me. I will try to quote the letter in exact phrase.

Dear wife,

I wish I would go back all those years when we dated. I wish I could start over again, go somewhere very far with you. I wish I could win you back. I know I have hurt you and now I want to die. I am so tired of all these. I thought that leaving you would bring me peace. So I allowed you to leave. I still loved you but I was so tired of my mother's passive torture and your complaints. Now, when I see Alya(the new girl who was supposed to be his wife), I understand what I have lost. I did not even get time to hug you tight and cry over our lost child. I don't believe in after life but if there is something like that, I will wait there for you, with our child. I wish I could just see you one more time before I go but I know I don't deserve you anymore.

Please don't hate me. I know you are the only person who has loved me unconditionally. Please don't meet my mother after I am gone. She might even kill you. Now I do believe you. I wish it was not this late

Yours ever.

I cried. I kept on crying in the police station for hours, while he was suffering in ICU. Then the police asked me to tell my story. I could not speak a word. I demanded to see my husband but his mother did not allow me saying that I was already divorced and a stranger. The police was at the hospital gate with me where his mother objected. Then the police said that he had accused his mother in the suicide note, to which she started crying and hitting herself hysterically saying how I was conspiring against her and how I bribed the police. Her husband tried to control the situation and I could not figure out if she was actually crying for his son at all.

Miracle happened. My ex husband recovered after 10 days and I was not allowed to see him even once during this period. His mother maintained his stand. I got all news from police station only. The police came to my hotel and took me to hospital and I got to know that my husband demanded to see me. He was shifted to a general bed and when I entered the room, I found his mother and his would be wife sitting in his bed. His would be wife held his hand firmly when I entered the room. Yes, she was extremely beautiful and I felt uneasy in the entire situation. His mother gave an evil smile, trying to show me how great her choice was, at that condition of her son. My ex-husband saw the evil smile and followed his mother's eyes to find me in the door. He wept like a baby. His one hand was firmly held by the other girl when he tried to hold me with another. I held his hand and there he firmly pulled me towards himself. He did not care anybody's presence. He hugged me and cried. He cried loudly while his mother was in shock. The other girl left within seconds. His mother did not leave but did not make any sound. He was in the hospital for 5 more days. I visited him every day in the morning and evening.

I was given a extra visiting card as instructed by the police, to the hospital. My husband cried each day after the visiting hours were over. When released, there were much formalities left with the police. I knew it was over. As soon as he will be released, he will stay with his mother and I will never get to see him again. But on the day of his release, he told that he will come with me to my home. His mother was shocked. But he did not even look into her eyes, while making this decision. His mother started to convince him softly but he was adamant. I told him to go home, pack him bag and I will get our flight tickets done. But he said he will buy everything new, start from scratch but will not return to his house even for a minute. Mind you this was the same house which was on rent, where I shifted with my husband long back, where I got my miscarriage and from where I had left.

I called my mother to see if she was okay with the idea of bringing my ex-husband along, since everybody in our locality knew that we were divorced. She scolded me for being so irresponsible and asking her something so naive. She asked me to bring him right away. I was so relieved. I bought air tickets online and went to the police station as we needed permission to leave the station. From there, when we boarded the taxi to the airport, his mother cursed her fate.

I knew he would soon feel guilty of leaving his mother and I did not want him to go through this pain, as he was still very weak. But he did not express any guilt. We hardly spoke. But there was a difference in him. He firmly held my hand and refused to leave even for a moment. I came back to my house. My mother hugged him and cried. He cried as well. My father hugged him for minutes.

That night, I called a nurse, to help him if any emergency arises and decided to sleep with my parents, leaving him with the nurse (we were together always except at night). I didn't find a reason to sleep with him, since we were not married any more. But in the middle of the night, he shamelessly knocked our door. We all were awake. He entered and said, "I want to marry you once again." I knew he would say that, by then and I simply told him that we will talk about it. He said, "Come to my room. Don't behave like a stranger with me". I refused. My mother was laughing in embarrassment and urged me to go to his room.

He slept that night in my arms. In a week, he left his old job and applied for a new one in another city. I applied in the same hospital too but did not get a job there. After a month, I left with him without a job. We shifted to a different city this time. I got a job within a few months. Things had started to get better. We did not talk much. But we found peace in each other. We discovered love once again.

8 months back, we gave birth to our son. We never got married again. We are simply living together. My parents visit us often. He has tried to explain me the legal consequences of not getting married but I always say that I don't believe in marriage any more. We are happy now. After all these years, his mother visited us once during our daughter's 6 month's celebration. She brought expensive gifts. She was all so sweet to us, as if nothing happened. She stayed back after all guests left. Within 7 days, I became sick out of stress. She did not do anything but I could not remain calm in front of her. I used to get panic attacks. After 7 days, my husband told her to leave, even when I did not talk about my panic attack to him. We are in touch with her mother but rarely. He usually avoids her calls.

That's my story. I don't know if this is the right path. Pardon me for any typing mistake. I got carried away. An Indian Mother in Law? I will be one, for my son. I am sure I will be good. If Quora exists even then, may be my DIL will write a lovely answer about me, without getting anonymous.

While I am writing this answer, my husband has woke up to help me feed the baby. He gets hungry every 2 hours.