Two For Mirth

Chapter Five

10:30

“Well, fancy seeing you here.” Came Riley’s voice from behind her. Cecelia looked up to see her fiancée standing over her, a wide grin on his face and his hands dug deep into his trouser pockets. She shuffled about uncomfortably where she knelt so she could see both him and the body.

She was nice and toasty in what she was dressed in, even if the wind was blowing a gale. She wore a pair of waterproof dungarees and a thick, warm-looking waterproof jacket which had her lab's logo displayed on the left-hand side. Her trouser bottoms were tucked into her Wellington boots. Cecelia's cheeks were pink from the cold weather and her hair was in a slight mess from where the winds had battered it. Even though they were covered by a white tent, it still managed to filter through to them.

She undid her coat to let some of the cool air hit her skin, it was a pleasant feeling, and she sighed with relief as she began to feel cool down. She couldn’t work out if it was the fact she was wearing so much, or if it was her pregnancy hormones making her hot. Either way, it was beginning to make her feel dizzy, and that was the last thing she needed.

She was kneeling in the soft mud and the remains of a nearly fully decomposed body were in front of her. The skull was completely exposed as were the hands and the feet, but the skin around the rest of the body was dried out and slowly disappearing. She would have difficulty autopsying this one. It looked like it had been here for quite a few months already.

“DCI Blackman, good to see you finally decided to show your face,” Sally said with a grin as she suddenly appeared out of nowhere making him jump out of his skin. He really must learn to watch out for her, she was like a ninja when she snuck up on you.

“What have we got?” Riley asked blatantly ignoring the comment, but managing to pull a face at her. She returned it with one of her sly grins.

“Not a lot to go on at the moment, not until I get her back to the morgue. Her head, hands and feet are completely void of skin, from what I can tell, it looks like the skin was removed with a knife, and the cuts seem very smooth, but being as it's quite decomposed, I really need to get her back to the lab before I can say for certain. Critters have been at her somewhat, so I need to work out what's teeth marks and what’s knife marks. She has been here around a year, maybe a little less, we had a very hot summer, and then this cold winter, so the rate the body took to decompose was sped up and then slowed right down.” She explained as she stood up, before turning to look back down at the body. “She was dug up by the farm hand. My guess is the hands, face and feet were removed so she couldn’t be identified. Her teeth have also been removed as well, Meaning no chance of a dental check.”

“How can you tell it’s a she?” He asked looking at her. “The body is in such a state.”

“Pelvic bone.” She told him as she knelt back down by the remains after having stretched her back until she felt the familiar pop. “And a few other characteristics. When I did a stint out in America, I learnt a lot about anthropology, it was very interesting, I know enough, but I think I need to call a specialist in, just to work on the damages to the bones that are visible, just to cover my back on this one”

“You of all people need to call in a specialist?” He asked with a chuckle. Cecelia was one of the most intelligent people he had ever met and never expected the words I need to call in a specialist to escape her lips.

“I don’t really need to, I could do a good enough job myself. I mean, I know my stuff but as Evelyn is doing a talk in Cambridge, I thought I would put a call through to her anyway.” Cecelia said as she looked up at him from where she knelt. “Two birds with one stone, get some professional advice and see a friend I haven’t seen in a while.”

“Evelyn?” Riley asked with a frown, it had never been a name she had ever mentioned before. If it had been, it had been one of the times he hadn’t been listening to what she was saying to him,

“Evelyn Marksman, she is a friend of Cecelia’s from college, a bit snooty for my taste, but she is very good at what she does. She’s pretty switched on when it comes to bones.” Came Sally’s voice as she reappeared next to Riley again, now with her camera. She too was wearing the same get-up as Cecelia, but she didn’t seem to have the same warm flush to her face that Cecelia did.

“How was she found?” Riley asked as he watched Cecelia look at what was left on the skin and organs of the body. He was going to have to keep an eye on Cecelia, make sure she was ok.

“I just said, Cecelia went to college with her,” Sally replied straight-faced, knowing what he had really meant.

“I meant the body you idiot.” Riley shot back, he loved Sally to pieces, but she could be infuriating when she wanted to, and she had a knack for driving him up the wall.

“Plough,” Sally said with a straight face.

“Pardon?” Riley said, not expecting that reply.

“The farm hand was ploughing the field, the plough brought the body to the surface. That’s another reason we could do with Evelyn joining us, as she can normally determine quite quickly which are new damages, and which are old ones.” Cecelia explained. “Again, I could get by, the cleaner ones will be what was caused by the plough, but I would like her opinion all the same. Makes the case all that more airtight when it comes to court.”

Riley pulled his long wool coat around him, his hands were covered in black leather gloves and his red scarf, a birthday present from Cecelia, was wrapped around his neck a few times, this didn’t stop the cold from getting to his bones though and he let out a shiver as the wind blew into the tent causing any point not tied down to flap loudly. “Well, this one is going to be fun. I prefer new murders, easier to find.” He grumbled stamping his feet to warm them up.

“We will be here for some time yet, there are still bones missing, the field needs sifting through around this area to see if any of the missing bones can be found,” Cecelia said as she returned her gaze to the body in front of her. “Also it may be an idea if the whole field is searched, in case of others.”

“Can you not get one of the others to do it? I’d prefer you in the warm.” Riley told her, he noticed her red cheeks and the fact her jacket was undone. How on earth was she not shivering with cold?

“I’m pregnant Riley, not dying,” Cecelia told him in a hushed tone, a little annoyed at him. This was one of the reasons she had hoped she hadn’t been pregnant, she knew Riley would fuss, and she just wanted to do her job. She knew a talk would be coming about the length of maternity leave she would be taking. He wasn’t going to like her response. She loved him with all of her heart, but he could be extremely suffocating when he wanted to be. She would need to think of some way to stop him from being so protective.

“Yes, and it’s freezing out here, I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He told her. She just stared at him, anger beginning to flare up, people who knew her well enough, knew it was time to back away, unfortunately, Riley thought he was above this, and had a tendency to push matters further. Cecelia opened her mouth to say something but Sally got in there before her.

“I will stay here and look for more.” She said, trying to avoid any arguments between the two of them, it was the last thing Cecelia needed. “Why don’t you get started on the autopsy Cecelia, go give Evelyn a call.”

“No, I am fine.” Cecelia pouted, she wasn’t going to let Riley win over on this one, and he had pissed her off now.

“Cee-Jay, there is no point in us both staying here and the quicker we get to the lab, the quicker we can ID her and get her laid to rest,” Sally said, appealing to that side of Cecelia's nature, she knew Cecelia liked to get her Jane Doe’s named and laid to rest as quickly as possible, it was a respectful thing for her.

“Are you sure Sally?” Cecelia said caving.

“Positive,” Sally said with a wide smile.

“Okay then. Keep the i***t with you.” Cecelia muttered, c*****g her head in the direction of her fiancé. “Or I might stab him with my scalpel.”

“It’s a deal.” She said with a chuckle as Cecelia retreated out to her car. She pulled off her waterproof jacket and trousers and dropped them into a plastic bag. Pulling on a pair of shoes and her suit jacket she put the muddy clothing and boots into the back of her Audi A5, adding her forensics case straight after before getting into the car and driving off. Riley watched from the tent's entrance until her car was out of sight.

“Did she tell you?” Riley asked with a big grin as he turned back to where the body lay, now with Sally knelt down next to it.

“Yes, she did, she also told me you were keeping quiet about it until the first trimester was over,” Sally responded not looking up.

“I know, we are, but I knew she would tell you,” Riley said, he was like a school kid who had just won the best award that could be given. “It’s the best news ever!”

“Well, just be careful of prying ears,” Sally said nodding towards the entrance of the tent. He turned as Greg and Suzy appeared.

“DCI Blackman Sir,” Greg said pulling his own coat tightly around him as Suzy just stood there in her black suit and white blouse suit, as if it was a normal summer’s day, her blonde hair was pulled tightly to the back of her head, her mouth, a tight line. Riley felt sorry for any suspects who came across Suzy Matthews, she scared the hell out of him. “What’s happening?”

“One body found, by a plough,” Riley said. “Cecelia has said that she is a young woman, has given birth, and the skin on the hands feet and face have been removed. All very bizarre if you ask me. What have you got to tell me?”

“The suspected suicide was just that sir, I have had an officer go to inform the family.” He explained. “Nothing more we can do there I am afraid.”

“Ok, good, I can have you working this case then,” He said. “Get that new officer to help you, what’s his name, the one with Cherry.”

“Benjamin?” Greg asked.

“That’s him, I want you two to go and speak to the farmer. His name is Chet Craggy. I will attend the autopsy if you can get Mark Fredrickson and Cody Brickman to come down and supervise the combing of the field, and then Benjamin and Cherry can do a door-to-door. It’s only a small village, so they should be able to manage on their own with that one. I will have a full briefing tomorrow morning at nine to discuss what we have so far. It will give us something more to go on then.”

“As you wish sir. Do you think there will be more bodies then? Greg replied.

“I don’t know for certain, but better to be safe than sorry, something here just screams serial killer to me,” He said with a sigh. “Cecelia suggested it, basically to find any of her missing bones, but I get the feeling there was more to her suggestion than that.

“Since when do we take our lead from the magpies.” Suzy blurted.

“Since without them, we would be stuck,” Greg said with a glare.

“The magpies?” Riley asked. This was a new one for him.

“Yeah, you know, they collect things,” Suzy said.

“Never heard them referred to as that.”

“One for sorrow, Two for Mirth and all that,” Greg said with a chuckle.

“Thought it was Joy,” Riley said.

“There are a few versions, I prefer mine.” He responded before walking off.

12:00

Cecelia was back in her office, finishing off reports whilst she waited for the call to tell her the body had arrived. She sat back in her chair and stretched. Her stomach rumbled, causing her to realise she was

really craving chocolate. Pregnancy was going to kill her waistline

She began to search through her vast handbag for a chocolate bar just as the phone started trilling on her desk. She pressed the button to put it on loudspeaker.

“Doctor Cee-Jay Montage.” She said as she found what she had been looking for and opened it.

“Well now, that was quite the surprise, I was not expecting to hear your voice begging for my expertise on my voicemail.” Came a smooth female voice, with a hint of humour behind it. The familiar voice caused a grin to spread over Cecelia’s face.

“Evelyn, it’s about time you returned my call, you’re starting to get lax in your old age,” Cecelia replied with a chuckle.

“I’m only a smidgen older than you, my dear, so you can cut that one right out. Now a little birdie told me I needed to come and do your job for you.” She said with a chuckle of her own. “But don’t worry, I made sure it didn’t tell anyone else.”

“The little birdie is telling lies, I need your opinion on a case, and I can do it on my own, but knew you were up this way so thought I’d give you a buzz,” Cecelia replied, indignantly. “I thought you might like to actually do some real work for a change instead of watching all your students do it for you.”

“What do you have?” She asked after she had stopped cackling down the line. Cecelia could almost see her throwing her head back and laughing like she always did.

“Remains of a young woman; that’s all I have at the moment until the body arrives in the morgue but there is damage to the head. The body was found by a farm hand when he was ploughing.”

“Ok, so it’s bones?”

“No, not really.”

“Then what the hell am I going to do with it?” She asked.

“There are some bones,” Cecelia replied evasively.

“I should hope so, you need bones in a body,” Evelyn said with a snort.

“There is no skin or tissue or muscle on the head hands and feet. They are all bone.” Cecelia blurted.

“Oooh sounds intriguing, I will be with you in an hour,” Evelyn said, excitement suddenly filling her tone.

“I shall await you with bated breath,” Cecelia said with a laugh. She was suddenly overcome by a cold feeling, making her senses aware that she was being watched. She looked up quickly to see Riley was stood leaning on the door frame to her office, his arms crossed over his chest, one ankle crossed over the other and a heart-melting smile on his face. The warmth she felt whenever she saw him pushed the cold feeling right out of her. She grinned at him.

“Oh and what’s this silly nonsense I’ve heard, that you are getting married.” Came the voice over the speaker suddenly bringing Cecelia out of the trance of staring at her fiancé. It was as if Evelyn knew he was in the room.

“I’ll tell you all about it when you get here.” She said motioning for Riley to come in and make himself comfortable. He grinned at her as he did so.

“Okay, I will see you soon.” Came a quick reply before the line went dead.

“Who was that?” Riley asked, his head c****d to one side like he did when he was being inquisitive.

“That was Doctor Evelyn Marksman, Anthropologist.” She said with a smile. “She is one of the best in her field.

“Sounds like a jolly person,” Riley said with a yawn.

“Yeah, she’s a good egg, I see the suspected suicide is just that.” She said patting the file that was on the desk in front of her.

“So I hear, Greg just informed me,” Riley said. “So can we start this autopsy or are we going to have to wait for this other woman?”

“I think it is best we wait for Evelyn, I don’t want to mess with the bones until she had taken a look. I doubt I would do any damage to them, but I would prefer to wait if that is ok.”

“Not a problem in the least.” He said with a smile as he stood up. “Does this mean I have you to myself for a little while?”

“Yes, why?” she asked him with a frown as he stood and went to lock the door to her office. He came over to her and pulled her to her feet, as she got to her feet, his lips locked with her and she melted into his arms like she always did when he kissed her. He picked her up and carried her to the sofa. “Riley, I can’t.”

“Shush, I missed you this morning.” He whispered into her ear before his lips met her neck and his hand went up her shirt. His lips travelled down her neck and this was her undoing. She let out a small gasp of enjoyment as she felt his hand run over her belly and up to her breasts, his breath was warm on her neck. There was absolutely no stopping him, he knew how to disarm her in such a pleasurable way and she wasn’t about to stop him.

13:00

Greg pulled the car up outside the house and parked, pulling on the hand break and turning off the engine before they both got out of the car. Greg looked up at the house that presented itself to them. It was an elegant farmhouse, with large white sash windows and the powdery orange brick that they used to use on houses. The gardens were well-tended and the surrounding fields held a mix of farm animals including sheep, horses, cows and pigs. Hens and ducks could also be heard in the distance.

They approached the front door and knocked. It was a big white one with a massive cast iron knocker on it. Taking in a deep breath, he willingly took in a lungful of fresh air while he waited with Suzy for the door to be answered.

After what seemed like a good few minutes, a tall thin woman with long hair pulled back into a messy ponytail on the back of her head opened the door, she smelt like she had been working with horses, even her clothing had the tell-tale signs of a horse owner to them.

“Can I help you?” She asked in a snappish tone which instantly got Suzy’s backup. Greg flashed her a warning glance when he noticed her stiffen.

“Good afternoon, I would like to speak to a Mr. Craggy,” Greg said holding up his warrant card. “I am Detective Inspector Greg Salzburg and this is Detective Constable Suzy Matthews, it’s concerning the field the body was found in.”

The woman huffed but stepped back so that they could both step in. She shut the door and led them through into a massive kitchen with stone floors. By a bright red Aga, in a basket was an old-looking black Labrador, the fur around his jaw was white, which contrasted with his pure black coat. He looked up at the intrusion and then curled up again and went back to sleep, not really caring who had come into his warm sanctuary

The kitchen itself was very warm and Greg welcomed the heat as they came in. It was a very cold day today and he was just waiting for the snow to start falling. He had a quick look around the kitchen and took in his surroundings whilst he waited. There were old plates dotted around the walls and hooks which hung from the ceilings. It seemed like a very homely place, unlike his own, which housed only the essentials as he was never really at home to actually use any of it.

“My husband will be in shortly he’s feeding the pigs.” She mumbled. Then snorted at the pun she had made between the livestock and the two intruders in her kitchen. “How long will you have our field? We need to get the crop into it. Every minute you are in it, we take a monetary loss.”

“We shouldn’t be too long Mrs Craggy, we will have it back to you as soon as we can, but you will have to understand, that there was a dead body found in it, so we need to make sure we find everything we can that pertains to the case so that we can solve it as soon as possible,” Greg explained with a politeness that the woman didn’t deserve. “Unfortunately, you won’t be able to have access to that field until we solve this case.”

“That doesn’t help the fact that we will be losing out on money because of your people messing around.” The woman retorted, her voice full of scorn.

“Dahlia.” Came a deep gruff voice from the next room. “Go tend to those damned horses and stop being an irritant will you. If you don’t start looking after the horses more, I will have them sold to the abattoir.”

A tall thin man in green trousers, a checked shirt and a farmer’s flat cap came into the kitchen through the back door, he leant down and patted the dog's head lovingly and then watched as his wife huffed and stormed out leaving them to it.

“I apologize for my wife, she can be a bit straight to the point when she wants to be.” The farmer said. “I am Chet Craggy, what can I do for you?”

“Good morning Mr Craggy.” Greg started, he pulled his warrant card out and flashed it for the man to see. “My name is Detective Inspector Greg Salzburg and this is Detective Constable Suzy Matthews. We are here to discuss the body that your farm hand found when ploughing one of your fields.”

“Ah yes, of course, you are, I don’t know what help I can be, the body wasn’t there when we ploughed last year and the field was left as a fallow field so no crop was planted.” He explained as he motioned for them to take a seat at the battered wooden kitchen table.

“So there has been no suspicious activity?” Greg asked as he and Suzy took a seat. “Nothing that has made you think something was off?”

“There is always suspicious activity, this is the countryside, folk think they own it and can do what they want. We constantly have to move gypsies on, or we find kids going at each other in the crop, and then there are the idiots on motorbikes racing through the fields. There is only so much we are allowed to do in said situations as well. Even though it’s private property, it’s always us farmers who draw the short straw in the getting into trouble front.” He said with a sigh as he washed the dirt off his hands. “Another reason why my wife wasn’t as approachable as she can be. The police haven’t really been on our side with things of late. But this is a different situation entirely. That poor person must have been there for some time, my farm hand was in quite a state when he came back from the field and told us what he had found. We rang you straight away.”

“I’m a bit dense when it comes to farming,” Greg admitted. “It’s not something myself or my family has ever had any sort of interest in. So that I can work out a basic timeline, from ploughing a field to planting a crop and anything else that you have to do, can you explain to me how it all works?”

“Well in the case of the fallow field where the body was found, it would have been ploughed around this time last year, after that I am afraid it was left, It’s a requirement that the government has installed, I won’t bore you with the details but we have to have a percentage of land fallow or set aside every year, so I tend to alternate the fallow fields through a four-year cycle. Each field has a year of oil r**e seed, a year of wheat and a year of barley before I fallow it.” He replied drying his hands on a dirty towel that was on the draining board of the sink.

“So this fallow field hasn’t been touched since you ploughed it last year?” Greg asked.

“As I said, I ran some gypsies out about May this year, every night we get the idiots on their motorbikes, I have reported it a number of times, but nothing ever gets done, that’s another reason why my wife is so temperamental, they scare her horses.” He explained. “Other than that, no, the field, as far as I was concerned, was completely left. Oh and we do get the odd pigeon shooter, but they stay on the public footpaths.”

“Well thank you for your help, I will look into those calls for you and see if we can’t sort something out. If you think of anything, anything out of the ordinary that you may think is pertinent to the case, here is my business card, you can reach me on that number and they will patch you through to me.” Greg said handing his card over to the man. “And hopefully we will hand your field back to you just as soon as we possibly can.”

“Thank you Detective.” The farmer said, showing them out.