Loving The Heartless Man

Chapter 4

Elara Pov

"Elara? Hey?" Memories suddenly flowed into my mind about why I lost faith in love when I saw Alexander's face, who turned out to be my groom. But a strong tap on my shoulder brought me back to the present. "What happened to you? Why did you stop walking? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Look at the groom," I said to Liam. He probably hadn't noticed my groom yet.

Liam looked at the groom and couldn't help but let out a slight scream upon seeing Alexander's serious face. His eyebrows almost touched each other with the intense furrowing while staring at me. His looks also tell me that he didn't expect that I was his future wife-to-be.

People inside the church thought that Liam just found the groom handsome, which is why he squealed, so they laughed. They didn't notice the tension gradually building around us.

"Oh my God, Elara! Is this a joke? Is fate teasing you?" Liam couldn't help but comment in a low voice.

"We shared the same thoughts. That's what I thought when I saw him," I replied to him. The wedding march was loud, so the people around us couldn't hear what Liam and I were talking about, especially since our voices were also low. He pretended to fix my gown so they wouldn't wonder why I suddenly stopped walking.

"Should I back out of my wedding now? He will surely be embarrassed. I can finally get back at him for the pain and humiliation he caused me before." I tightened my grip on the bouquet in my hands. My plan to get revenge on him before never came true because we never saw each other again. I just heard that he flew to another country to study in college. I also got busy working while studying to support my education and daily expenses.

"Don't make hasty decisions, Elara. Think about the reason why you agreed to marry him," my friend reminded me.

I took a deep breath. "You're right, Liam. I should think about the reason why I agreed to this marriage," I agreed with him. I will continue with the wedding and nothing will change in my plan even though I discovered that Alexander Reed will be my husband-to-be.

"Shall we?"

I nodded at him and then continued walking towards Alexander. He is my demon from the past that I need to face. Maybe if I confront him, my phobia of facing many people will disappear because he is the reason why I developed social phobia.

I developed a great fear of facing many people because I am afraid of being embarrassed, criticized, and judged. That's why only Liam attends gatherings that require the presence of our company. Even when I graduated from college, I did not attend the ceremony. But I can enter malls and restaurants because people are not looking at me. Their attention is not focused on me, so my phobia is not triggered.

When I was already in front of Alexander, I felt like running out of the church. His gaze at me was just like how he used to look at me while he was stepping on the bouquet I was supposed to give him. My heart started to beat faster and I felt a slight pain in my stomach. It meant that my phobia was being triggered. This was the first time my phobia was triggered even though I was only facing one person.

"Relax, Elara. Take a deep breath and calm yourself," Liam softly whispered to me when he noticed that my phobia seemed to be triggered.

I did what my friend said. I took a deep breath. I forced myself to calm down. The wedding cannot be canceled because my father's life depends on it. I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally managed to calm myself. I just avoided meeting Alexander's piercing gaze so that the feeling of embarrassment I experienced because of him would not disturb my mind. Then I glanced at my friend and slightly nodded to let him know that I was okay.

When Liam understood what I meant, he took my hand and handed it to Alexander.

"Take care of my friend, Alexander," Liam said with a smile, then my friend slightly brought his mouth closer to Liam's ear and whispered something. "You have a big sin with her so don't hurt her again. You'll answer to me if you do that," he threatened Alexander.

Alexander frowned upon hearing what my friend said. He seemed puzzled about what sin he had with me that Liam was referring to. But Alexander didn't ask my friend; instead, he just held my cold hands. Now I regret not wearing the bridal gloves on my hands. Alexander found out that my hands were cold so one of his brows lifted.

Alexander guided me closer to the altar and in front of the priest who would marry us.

"You still haven't changed, Elara. You're still shameless and a gold digger. You must have planned this moment for a long time," Alexander whispered softly in my ear. I could feel the restrained anger in every word he uttered. Until now, that's still how he sees me. I felt hurt but quickly ignored it. The admiration I once felt for him had long disappeared, so I shouldn't feel hurt by what he said. He is not worthy of admiration.

"Even now, you also haven't changed, Alexander. You're still as shameless and an asshole as before," I replied with a smile. Our mothers and godmothers wouldn't notice that we were exchanging harsh words because we were both smiling at each other. Maybe they thought we were just exchanging sweet words with each other.

Alexander glanced at me with furrowed eyebrows but I just ignored him. Like a gentleman, he helped me kneel in front of the priest. "You will regret marrying me, Elara," he whispered again.

Smiling, I looked up at him before strongly pulling him down to kneel. I secretly celebrated because I knew his knee hurt from kneeling on the cement when I saw his lips twisted.

"I've regretted it for a long time. I regretted that I met you," I replied to what he said to me.

Alexander's eyes narrowed again, and he was about to speak again, but the priest spoke first to start the wedding ceremony. My mind wasn't on what the priest was saying. I was thinking about what kind of relationship we would have after our marriage. How do I act with the person who caused me to have social anxiety disorder?

I know that my life as Alexander's wife will not be easy, especially since he thinks I planned all of this to get him. He thinks I'm a gold digger. I don't know why he has thought of me that way from the beginning, but I don't have time to ask him. Because I am no longer interested in finding out why he sees me that way when I never asked him for money or even for a free meal whenever we were together before.

Isabela is also on my mind. Where could that woman be, and why did she let Alexander marry another woman? From what I know of her, she is very possessive. Even when she and Alexander didn't have a relationship yet, she was already claiming him back then. Or maybe the two of them are in a relationship and just kept it a secret from us, which is why she's so possessive.

Because my mind was wandering, I didn't realize that the ceremony was over. The priest announced that Alexander and I were now married and also told the groom the words "You may kiss the bride now." So when Alexander pulled my neck and kissed me hard on the lips, I suddenly pushed him away and slapped him hard on the face without realizing that it was the last part to complete the wedding ceremony.