Cruelty is the birth of disobedience

Part 2

Part 2

Evening came and my grandmother sat next to me, preparing tea for us, and I had just finished looking for jobs.

Do you think my father is happy, grandmother? Why didn't he come to visit us at least once a year? Did he forget that I'm his daughter? Or did he forget in the first place that he has a daughter, and a mother?

Noor was raised by her paternal grandmother since she was seven years old, as her mother passed away while giving birth to her.

_ As for her father, he married another woman, and left Nour to his mother, and he traveled with his wife abroad; in order to work.

_ He was raising Noor with her grandmother, her grandfather; However, he also died a year ago.

_ In fact, Noor does not love her father, and in a more accurate sense, she did not live with him ; to love him, or relate to him; but

Her grandparents held her the secret of life, and when her grandfather passed away; Nour entered into a shock and a bad psychological state, which almost led her to hell; Had it not been for her grandmother who supported her; To get out of that ordeal, as Nour, in the period of losing her grandfather, was weak and shaky.

sadness inside her of her son's ingratitude, trying not to make Nour feel this; So as not to increase her sense of rejection towards him; With the intention of leaving her a way to accept him for fear of her death and leaving her alone; You may have to migrate to:

_ Oh, if you knew how sad he was for your parting! and what he entertained; Except that he left you with us.

Nour is not convinced:

_If it is as you describe, grandmother; What do we need to look for work to suffice us! But in fact, what has become of remember us From the beginning!

I felt that my grandmother wished she had believed my sentence; But she did not want to conquer me with the truth and uttered a word that is really that. That is why I had mercy on her from answering, and from lying, and I pretended that I had returned to complete what I was reading last night.

She remained silent and strayed, and I was occupied with what I read; I stopped at some words, and I felt that they belong to me.

_ Letters always become a soul, and always a girl, and the strings of hearts are played with distinct melodies, they may be melodies of hope, or wish, or even pain, for the arrow is not the same, and not all of them are far from farmal

The letters may become a tear, or they may bandage a wound, or embrace pain and pain.

I asked her again, as if my longing for my mother, the one I had never seen, was speaking. Or maybe I felt like I was trying to find an excuse for my father.

Perhaps his love for my mother made all his affairs turn upside down, and he was confused by the bereavement, and for this reason he chose to travel as a kind of escape from longing, and for this also he did not feel his fatherhood towards me, as he should have, because he did not live with me.

I found her nodding yes in silence; I understood my purpose, from my search for a justification for love.

I went back to the description, and the justification; As if I just discovered the truth, she said:

_ surely it is; Between the blink of an eye and his attention comes the bereavement of fates; There is no doubt that my mother's death was a calamity that changed the whole course.

I repeat again, as if I am confirming and convincing myself before her:

_Yes Yes; The loved ones will still have the wound of the years, knowing that they are truly destinies; But the separation is unbearable.

I felt that she remembered my grandfather, and instead of being patient with my father's ingratitude, I dipped her in nostalgia for him in my stupidity!!

She said with pain; Although she put a faint smile on her face; As if she was laughing at what she was going to say:

_ We do not belong to life, we belong to death, life is a bridge that we cross from one bank to another, the first of them is nothingness, and the second is infinity, and what is between them is pleasures and pleasures, joy and groans, victory and disappointments, we do not belong to life, we belong to weakness.

Her words tore me apart; Until I felt that she had restrained me, and silenced my tongue; I couldn't find anything to say; to relieve her; I felt my pain, and my lack of condition, and all I could do was to exhale a hot sigh, while she followed her previous sentence with a sigh once and continued:

_ Oh, O Noor, and proximity was never near distance. The bodies may cling, while the souls suffer.

Then she smiled sincerely; as if between the moment and the next; She turns from one extreme to the other, for her smile, at this moment, was not an expression of irony; Rather, it was love and nostalgia, and she said:

Your grandfather would never do the impossible for me, and he did not do with me, what no one else did! But he did the simplest things to me honestly; Even in his simplest words with me, he was honest, how he embraced me, and bandaged my pain with a hug, and how he made up for my loss of your father by making of himself my son; To make up for deprivation, and longing! How many times he whispered to me in sincere letters, you compensated me for everything I lacked.

Then she looked at me with the intent of my advice and said:

_ Learn, O Noor, from your grandfather, his influence, and his letters. Perhaps the letters are like a hugging person who gives you happiness by hugging him, so be you to your children and your husband like this.

Choose your letters with your husband and children; It penetrates hearts before the ears; You may break a soul, or revive it, and perhaps you may kill a heart with it, or flower roses in the depths.

Be careful, my girl; Perhaps the letters meet one day and form a difficult-to-pronounce word that compels the body.

She paused for a moment to catch her breath, then said again:

How many times have I wanted to say I need you to your grandfather? But not once did he make me pronounce it! Each time he beat me to the containment; So I don't need to pronounce it.

Then she explained to me the meaning of the word, so that I might understand the meaning of the description:

_ I need you, those are the letters, and that is the word, and how heavy it is on the tongue of its utterer, and what is lightest on the ears of the molesters, who are indifferent to us, and what is true of it on the ear of the sincere lover.

The word was a collector of all attributes, and its opposite was sincere, shameful and painful. Humble, and broken, as if it were the difference between pride and humiliation, strength and weakness, poverty and wealth.

_ My daughter, if this word comes to you; So receive her well, take care of her, and do not leave her in disgrace. Its owner is dead.

be a sanctuary; For every spokesperson for it, and know that you are not far from it, and from your tongue, and remember that it is a day for us and a day upon us, and oh happiness, who accepts it and revives with it a soul that almost died.

A new darkness of the Noor, a recurring nightmare of a light, and limbs trembling at times, and stiffness at other times.

A muffled moan, and palpable tears on her face, Nour felt that death came to her in the form of a human being, and in fact, death did not come to her like this against her will, but she was the one who wished that in her wakefulness, and how much she wished to converse with him and blame him for the loss and loss that he caused her. It was as if her subconscious mind responded to her, had mercy on her, and achieved what she wished for. Maybe she's blowing what's inside.

She imagined herself as a stray child in the forest and dying as a person she met and began to talk to him.

She saw him on his shiny, beautiful black horse; She asked him innocently:

_Are you lost and lost like me too?

Death looked at her and with a smile answered:

_Yes, I'm lost. Do you know how to get home?

She replied as if she was really a child:

_no. But now I no longer feel lonely, now I am no longer afraid because you are with me!!

Death was surprised, and wondered at her answer; Since when does no one fear him? How can such a child not be feared, and he is the one who fears the most powerful of all creatures, and the greatest of them in faith? Everyone fears him, whether he is an infidel or even a prophet! Yes, the prophets, despite their love for death; Because it is close to God, but they fear Him for fear of any shortcomings in their mission. He fears prophets and nobles; No one is safe from torment, so what about that little one then? And when his curiosity was killing him, he found himself in need of asking her to make sure whether she saw him with the eyes of the truth, or that his truth was missing from her. He said:

_You told me you weren't afraid of me! And do you know who I am?

She calmly replied:

_If you come for me, that's fine, but I'll only ask you a favour.

Death marveled more, not only finding her not frightened; Rather, he found her reassuring, and the worst thing was that she was conversing with him and asking him, so he answered her:

_Yes, I came for you, but what kind of favor is this that you might ask for from death?!

She replied with a sad face:

Save my mother, for she gave birth to me and struggled with death, and I was not satisfied with her, and my childhood was not satisfied with her tenderness, and he saved my grandmother, who is very sick, so I went out to get some medicinal herbs in the forest and was lost.

What do you fear? But what worries me the most is that if I do not return to my mother, my grandmother will die of disease, and the grief of losing me..

Because we are alone! My father left us a long time ago, and my grandfather passed away a year ago, and since then, my mother and grandmother are responsible for me and the house.If you are for me and you will not take my mother or my grandmother from me, I will ransom them.

Death felt ashamed, his face filled with regret, and sadness for the first time, because he intended to take the girl with him without return! But he has to search with her first for those herbs that she went out for and because of her lost her mother's way, and her grandmother.

Thus her subconscious mind Her horsesfor her what she had wished for, and she saw that she, and death became companions, they continued to walk, she limping from the pain of her soft feet, as he rode his huge horse; Until they came to a road that led straight to the house, which became clear from afar, and before they left the woods death ceased, and the child's light advanced toward the house; She turned to him and asked, innocently and surprised:

_What are you doing? And why not move?

He did not know what to answer her,

for an order came from God, the Merciful, to leave her, for the sake of her mother and grandmother.

His smile and his lips whispered his thanks to God; He had mercy on him before he had mercy on that little girl, and he replied to her, saying:

_ I can't go on any longer!

Nour is surprised, won't you take me?! Am I going with you?!

Death looked into her small eyes, smiled at her gratefully for God's mercy on her, and replied:

_ no . You won't go with me nor your mother! Just go, and take care of her and your grandmother; For in due time I will return for her, and for you too, and you will go with me.

She took the light of joy, as if she had seen a beautiful, shining magical bird, and she said to death, in a voice trembling from the intensity of happiness:

_Thank you, I will be waiting for you happily; Because I know you're not bad.

Death struck his horse's skin; The one who is tearing the earth with his hooves, and has become like a shadow that has vanished in the darkness of the forest, and he is repeating to it in an echoing voice: “Death is not bad, it is sometimes safety.

Sleep began to withdraw from her, and she hesitated, saying

_All farewell words are bitter, not their command. But everything that robs us of those we love is bitter! May God help those who are tormented and unable to stop this pain

She fidgeted in her bed; The sun’s rays reach the sun’s rays, and they will be in the sky at the beginning of sunrise, unless you sit for a long time in the sky, unless you see that her grandmother will do it, and today in particular, the first day she received her job after much searching and hard work.

She heard her grandmother's gentle voice calling out to her:

_Come on, Noor, today is your wedding day.

Nour smiled, and came out of her room, racing the steps; She found her grandmother had prepared breakfast for her.

She kissed her, and said with a cheerful face, Good morning, my greatest grandmother.

Her grandmother was preparing breakfast for her, and she greeted her, saying

_ Your morning is green with the color of goodness, O heart of your grandmother, hurry up, wash up, and pray; You may be late for your first day of work.

Nour, as she put another kiss on her grandmother's temple, told her to argue with her:

What delay do you mean, Grandma? It is now half past five in the morning, and the time for my work is half past seven, so I have two full hours, but it seems that you want to get rid of me early; So as not to cause you any inconvenience.

Grandma honestly:

_ I wish you were bothering me, my girl; I have not seen you in all your life; Only hearing, obedience, and calm.

I stood in front of my locker, trying hard to choose what suits me, and in the end I chose the simplest of them, convinced that working in a school canteen does not require me to be overburdened with clothing, but rather it needs the simplest of it to help me move comfortably. So I chose jeans and a white blouse, and I chose an embellished hair cover of calm colors, and I put a little cosmetic powder, nothing more than a lip gloss and a face supplier, and I chose the simplest, smooth.

shoes, which made me feel relaxed and calm.

I shook hands with my grandmother and asked her to pray for me repayment and left.

As soon as I took my first steps into the street; Until I felt nervous, and began to imagine what the meeting of the principal of the school would be like for me, and I began to put the expected dialogues and the usual questions and answer them within me; So I'm ready and don't stutter.

I stood waiting for the bus, looking around me with shame and pleasure at the same time.

I felt that everyone around me was looking at me; It was as if the street was empty of pedestrians except for me, until I caught their attention, until I came back to mock myself when I turned around; I found that no one was seeing me from the start, but they were all busy each with his own.

I followed in silence; I found people complaining for fear of delaying more than this; So I said to myself, This is the first lesson I must learn, which is to get out of the house early; So as not to fall at the mercy of bus traffic.

I went back to watching others and found some of them who stumbled while boarding the bus because of her high-heeled shoes; So I said to myself this second lesson, I must not wear what would have made me stumble! Here I mocked myself; I discovered that I am the one watching around me, not them! I noticed; I found the bus I was waiting for had come; So I went up, but could not find an empty chair; I stood a little in the aisle between the seats; Until I find a place, and as soon as I stand among the passengers; Until I became nervous and bored, being alone, I decided to occupy my mind by thinking about the form of the interview, and how would the situation go with the school principal? But I quickly wandered to those around me, to catch their eyes and say to myself, behind every sigh that comes out of us, a secret that dwells in the soul; Either a great love, or a painful wound comes outA painful wound that comes out with the breath of its owner against his will, and perhaps behind a sigh a longing for Ezar has left us, and perhaps hunger or even disease, and this is not what matters; But the important thing is that the sigh is hot and bitter.

Behind each of us is a story; Perhaps he wished to tell her, perhaps he would succeed in sharing her pain with us, or else the revelation was heavy on him, and his concern weighed on him. Even he whose secret lies in his joy is also afraid of his demise.

I began to look deeper into the faces of those around me, trying to deduce from their behavior or even their silence what they were thinking, and whether they were happy or not; In the end, I concluded that there is always something missing in our lives! Whoever rejoices fears for his joy, and whoever cries wishes for laughter.

Inside us either sadness we concealed; so that it does not appear on our features; Thinking that we are the strongest, or a piece of mind we had to pass it on until we succeed in passing through the bridges of life, or perhaps a lie we deliberately believed in for fear of knowing the truth we used to feel.