The Life of Zara

CHAPTER EIGHT

I open the other side of the door and hop in.Starting the car, I take another glance at Zara as she curled her body sobbing , her body shaking lightly. I said I will take care of it. Yet I don't even know how I'm going to do it. I don't even know if I will be able to handle her. This most be hard for her. I know her love for aunty Hafsa is genuine. After all she's the one that brought her here. She's the only one that knows who her parents are and the whole story behind Zara.

Getting out of the car, I realized that Zara is not ready to step out anytime soon. I walk the small distance to the other side of the car and opened her door. She didn't even give a hint of knowing I'm standing there. She is curled up in her seat her head down as she continued to sob. Her cries did weird things to me. Making up my mind I pushed my body and managed to get her out of the car.i used my back to slam the door with her in my arms. As I walk my way to the door I can't help but noticed how light she feel in my arms. She's very skinny with her bones poking me. How can she be so small and thin? I wondered as I managed to open the door with her in my arms. I dropped her on the couch in the living room. She immediately brought her knees to her chest. She stopped crying and stared ahead.

"Zara.." I called. She gave me a blank look and turned away.

She look so sad, so fragile and vulnerable at the same time. I felt a sudden urge to comfort her but I don't know how I'm going to do it.

"Zara..." i called again but she didn't even spare me a glance this time. I know how hard this is for her. I know how it feels. The news broke me too.

"Zara.. You have to have faith and think of this as a test from Allah. Allah test those whom he loves. Are you going to pass this test?" My voice barely a whisper.

She jerked her head looking at me as a tear roll down her face. I trail it with my eyes until it reached her lips.

Without a second though I placed my hand to wipe away the wet tears. She pushed my hand away. I mentally scolded myself. What was I thinking? I have no reason to feel disappointed with how I treated her.

"Leave me alone." I almost didn't hear her.

"Please..."

This time I stood up and walked away. I can't even comfort her. Did she have to go through this alone? If I can't comfort her then? Laila! Yeah right Laila. I'm calling her. She needs someone.

I can get Laila's number from her contacts.

I searched the bag she went out with but I couldn't find the phone. It only means one thing. She didn't went out with it. Without thinking much of it I went to her room. I looked on her mirror. It's not there. I looked at her bed but no sight of her phone. Lifting her pillow I caught side of it. There it is with a book beside it. What is a book doing here? It looks very old. The cover made of something like leather. I picked it up grazing my hand on the cover.

Diary.. It is almost hidden within the dark coloration of the cover. I am tempted to open it but it's not right to look at something like this. Before I could drop it a paper slipped out of it and fell at my feet. Bending down to retrieve it I realized its not just a paper but a picture. A family figure. I looked at the girl in the picture. Is this Zara? I looked closely. There she is. She's almost unrecognizable. She was smiling. Her eyes glowing. Her mouth agape and I saw the gap teeth she has at the center. Her dimples prominent. So she has dimples? Her cheeks full. She's not skinny in this picture. She look very happy.a A healthy child. I have never seen her this happy. Her black hair is plaited loosely into two ropes hanging down her shoulders.i have never seen her hair. I was mesmerized. She looked so young and beautiful. How old was she then? I don't want to take my eyes off her. I shifted my eyes to see the man that was holding her on his lap. Her father I assume. He was smiling at the camera too. A woman and another kid whom I assumed to be her mother and brother. Wait! her mother is supposed to be blind. I stared at the picture confused. I turned the back to check if there is a date for the picture. But instead I saw some notes written at the back.

If only I could turn back the time.

Where are you living? Are you happy? Are you alive? Do you eat well?

Dad are you alive? Did you find them?

Little bro do you Remember me?

I stared at the words trying to make a meaning out of it. I feel my heart constricted and my chest tightens.

I picked up her phone and checked her contacts. She has only two contacts? Laila and aunty Hafsa? Zara is lonely.

What do I even know about her? She's my wife. What was her life like? No what is it like? I'm the worst human on the planet. I was mean to her. I have never felt this useless in my life. I dialled Laila's number. She picked on the second ring.

"Assalamu alaikum sweetie.." She yelled into the phone.

"Ahh.. Assalamu alaikum. This is Ahmed."I added quickly.

Silence...

"I... "

"Where is Zara? What happened to her? Is she alright?"

She is panicking.

"Hey.. I cut her off. She's alright.. Well she's kind of.. "I stammered not knowing what to say.

"I know I don't have the right to but I want to ask you a favor. Please can you come over? Zara needs you right now."

"I'm coming over she stated and ended the call."

I went out to find Zara sitting where I left her. She has stopped crying but stared ahead with no emotion in her face. I can't help but compare with that of the pictures. Her eyes are not glowing. They look dull and lifeless. She's become too thin. There's no smile on her face. I want her to smile. To see her gap teeth to see her dimples. I suddenly want to return that glow to her eyes. My wife. She's mine. I want to know her more. I want to share her burdens. I stared at the mystery before me. I want to uncover every bit of her secrets. Will she let me in? Will she ever forgive me? How much damage have I done already? I hated the way I acted. I wasn't thinking..

"I called Laila she's coming over. "I announced and she turned her head and stared at me like I have two heads. After a minute she nodded and turned away.

I suddenly feel jealous of Laila.