The Life of Zara

CHAPTER FOUR

I lay down on the sofa completely exhausted. I do not like the idea of sitting down doing nothing. I get bored easily. Right now I have cleaned every hole and corner in this house. I found Ahmed's clothes in the laundry, even though I'm sure he will not be pleased with it, I washed them and ironed them. My life has changed in an instant. I miss the warmth and Care of Aunty Hafsa. I couldn't even meet my only friend. I hope I will be able to pass this test. I keep hoping that one day everything will change. That I will be eager to see another sunrise. Sometimes I wish This is just a bad dream. And I will wake up in my mother's lap and continue my life with my dad and brother. But who am I kidding? There is no way this could all be a dream. The reality is painful.

Engrossed in my own world. I didn't hear any knocking or someone entering. The loud bang of the door startle me and I jumped to a sitting position. Standing at the door is no one other than Hawwa. The devil In disguise. I can sense headache coming.

Ahhh! Right! I forgot that you don't know who she is!

Hawwa is aunty Hafsa's niece. Her mother died when she was little. Aunty Hafsa raised her. She is a year older than me. She dislike me. She's someone that will complain about every single thing about me. She'll complain that I smile a lot, that i wore the same shirt at her. She will complain about almost everything about me. When I first came she dislike that I will be living in the same house as her. She hates it that aunty Hafsa treated us equally. She called me names. She will often tell me that I'm a beggar and I should be treated like one. But her dislike turned to poisonous hatred when I was getting married to Ahmed. He has always been her crush. She likes him. I tried to refuse the marriage too. But aunty Hafsa won't budge. She stopped talking to me. She constantly ignores me until I had no other choice than to accept. Till today I had no idea why she insisted on this sudden marriage. Something was off.

"Zara!" Hawwa almost screamed breaking my thoughts.

Oh? I looked at her but she was glaring at me. With heavy makeup on her face and her lips painted in deep red.

"Sannu dazuwa" (welcome) I smiled at her ignoring her glaring. "You should come in and have a seat."

"You don't need to tell me to come in. Can't you see I let myself in? " She smiled her mouth twitching.

She made herself comfortable on the sofa crossing her legs. She craned her neck from side to side looking at the living room with a frown on her face.

"How is your marriage going?" She asked with the sweetest smile she could muster.

I'm not going to respond to her. Nothing good will come from it.

"I cant believe a w***e like you got married to my cousin. A homeless beggar like you."

"Why are you doing this Hawwa?"

"Ahh right! What am I doing? Listen to me! A homeless beggar like you stole my life away from me. And I'm going to make you regret it. You must be a headache to your family for them to sell you off like that. How much did they collect in exchange?"

I couldn't contain the fury I'm feeling. My body is shaking with anger. She always know how to get to me.

"Don't you ever talk about my family like that! You are going off limits."

"Are you not ashamed to call them your family? They sold you off!" She yelled. "Why don't you pack your Stuff and disappear from my sight! My life!"

Do I always have to endure this? How long I'm I going to live with it before I completely break down? The pain of not knowing if I will ever see my family again. This kind of treatment from this people. How much can I take it?

"You are mad Hawwa! And if you think I will disappear from your life you are wrong!get prepared to see me tomorrow and next tomorrow. As long as I breath."

"Zara," she called again softly this time. "Calm down okay?"

What is she doing? Why all of a sudden? I can't process her being like this. Something is off so I just stare at her.

"Why don't you accept me?" She begged. "I always wanted a sister. I always like you. Your beautiful.

You should be a kind person. But since you asked me to leave, I will. I hope someone you will get to accept me."

What nonsense is she blabbering? I look around. I smiled a bitter smile. Since when was he standing at the door. she put up an act because she heard him come in. Such a hypocrite she is. I'm going insane. How can one's life be so complicated. The burning sensation I feel in my body made me stop thinking. A few steps away from me is Ahmed staring daggers at me. Don't you push me to the wall!! It's going to be a disaster when I can't take it anymore.

"Yaya Ahmed," (brother) Hawwa called flashing her teeth. "I wanted to leave but Zara asked me to wait for you."

"Oh is that so?" He asked sarcastically without taking his eyes off of me.

"Yeah, now that I have seen you I will get going."

I remained dumb. I just stand here like a statue watching her play her trick.

"Wait, let me drop you." Ahmed offered.

I know she will be jumping inside at the offer but her reply surprised me.

"No, thank you. I will be stopping somewhere."

"Zara I will see you next time."

She came close and whispered in my ear. "I don't want to give him time to cool off."

She's truly a devil.

The moment she left he turned to look at me. What do you think you are doing? "Don't you have even a little bit of shame? You have the guts to be sending my family out?" He stepped closer shaking his head.

"It's not like that."

"Don't tell me it's not like that. I saw you with my own eyes. It seems you forgot your stand in this house."

My chest tightens! It feels like bursting. I couldn't consume all this anger in. Endure it a little more. Just a bit more.

He walked to the dinning uncovering every dish I made. When he was done he turned to look at me.

"You are a spoiled brat. You witch. Did I not ask you not to cook for me? Do you even know the value of food? Now are you going to dump this in the trash? Is that what you have been doing?"

"Don't talk to me like that! Don't call me a witch, don't you call me a w***e. Have you seen me doing any of this?" I couldn't contain my fury." I don't know the value of food? I might not know. But I know what it feels like to be so hungry that you could die. I know how it feels to beg for rice. I know how it feels to eat random leaves because your so hungry you are afraid to die."

The memories start coming back to me. My body starts shaking. My eyes become blurry from the tears. But I couldn't stop talking. I kept talking without even knowing what I'm saying. My breathing becomes hard.

"Zara, Zara," I can only hear his voice but I couldn't make his face from the blurry image I'm seeing.

"Zara, stop talking" please. Calm down okay?"

But I couldn't stop. I feel dizzy. The next thing I know was that I black out.