A Little Frog’s Heart: The Stellar Waltz of Life

Jailhouse Story III-4

I knew all too well though, that the cell door was safely locked. But the tormenting shame was still there. I could have banged my head against the door, if I knew it helped getting rid of it. However, on getting closer to the door, a ray of light that entered through its visor stole away my feelings of hate and revenge that had mercilessly gripped me. It grabbed them and dragged them out on the prison’s corridor, taking them who knows where! Maybe it transformed them into some other kind of “dessert” for the prison’s gates, to which not even rust would stick. Those gates were meant to lock destinies inside; having been given such an important job, their life-expectancy was nothing short of…eternity, under the auspices of the judicial system of that country.

I thanked to the rays of light in my mind for the unexpected help they had given me. Reality proved (yet again) that where there is a will, there is always a way. Some might take longer than others to come to life, but this only comes to show that good things happen to those who commit themselves fully to their dreams., no matter how long a time, or how many sacrifices they require.

I suddenly felt much calmer. I went back to my old bed which had been serving me faithfully for the two years that I had been there. I pulled aside the patched-up duvet, unveiling the bed. I also removed the creased sheet which yearned, from the very start of its existence, for the warmth of an iron, not to mention the smell of some detergent. There, underneath it, on the mattress, was a pullover, stretched out in the shape of a cross.

That was my pullover; everything I held dear in that sinister place. Through it, I felt connected with my parents and my homeland. I believed in it like I believed in God! I hoped it would save me from the trouble in which I found myself. I believed it was my anchor that always saved me from the waves of misfortune.

I had placed it there even from the first day I entered prison. In the two years since, I had only worn it for my birthday and for my mother’s birthday. I had thus placed it so when I would lie down in bed in the evening, I would feel embraced with parental love, which I so missed. Everi time I touched it, I also felt protected by the power of God, because it had been God Himself that took part in the making of this pullover knitted out of the lightly-coloured wool of a chosen ram.

I piously kissed it, then I lay on top of it, facing down, “crucifying” myself on it, my arms stretched over its sleeves. I smelt it, breathing deeply in, like I did many times during the two years of prison. I wanted us to be somewhere, just the two of us, away from the cell’s concrete and unmerciful walls. I wanted us to be able to discuss in confidence the many things we had to tell to each other, about our existence which was so connected by the Lord’s unknown will.

I breathed in its familiar smell which the all-present damp didn’t manage to cover up. Locked inside it, was the pleasant smell of nature, the smell of my house and childhood. I had managed many times in those two years, with its help, to go back in time and re-live in mind unforgettable moments with my dear ones. I could remember myself as the carefree child and picture my mother as a young woman with her face lit up by her beautiful smile and her smooth skin undisturbed by old-age wrinkles...

The making of this pullover which was so dear to me was going back to an enchanted legend which was deeply rooted in the tradition of our lands. Nobody knew the times when it had come over there, but word had travelled that it had been brought over with a great retinue by the Lord’s saints themselves, even from the Kingdom of the Lord.

The legend spoke of a special girl for whom faith in God had become a second nature. She had reached maturity and she burned with the desire to become a mother. She wanted to give birth to a son who would be dedicated to the Lord. She had in mind, and had made an oath with herself, that if she was not worthy to have this desire granted to her, she was determined to stay a virgin and dedicate her life to the strengthening of faith on earth.

Hearing her sincere and steadfast prayer, the saints understood that the girl was a creature chosen by the Lord to give birth to a special son. As such, one winter day when snowflakes played with everyone’s cheeks, making them go red, the saints presented themselves to the girl:

“You will have to wait,” they told her, bowing in front of her, “until beautiful spring will come again to your lands. You will then go walking up and down the green fields, until you find a flock of sheep that have all the colours of nature in their fleeces. You will choose a little male lamb from amongst them. Any colour you wish, according to how you wish your son to be...”

On hearing such a thing, the lass worried: what if she made a mistake in this choice? This is why she asked the saints, in order to be sure of what she had to do:

“But... why should I not choose a female lamb? Why does it have to be a male lamb? And what is the meaning of my having to choose the colour according to how I wish my son to be?”

“You will choose a male lamb because you wish for a boy. If you wished for a girl, then we would have urged you to choose a female lamb,” the saints explained to her. “As for the colour...” they continued. “If you want a fair child, you will choose a male lamb with white fleece. If you want a child who is dark or red-haired – then make sure the lamb is black or reddish in colour. It all depends on what you want!”

The girl listened carefully to what she had to do. Giving life to the lad dedicated to God seemed very special, and it was not at all simple as she had believed until then.

“After choosing the lamb, you will take him home with you,” continued the saints. “You will raise him like you would do with your own child. The Lord will see your love and hard work for the child you longed for mirrored in the care you will provide for this lamb... You will have to have patience, though: go with the lamb all over the plains, allowing him to choose the place where he wants to graze. During the nights with full moon, if he asks you to allow him to go alone through the thick forests, looking for the strand of grass blessed by the pure morning dew, you will allow him to do that. Then, if he returns in the morning safe and sound, then you will be sure that God already works at the fulfilment of your plan of becoming a mother.

“In order for this prophecy to come true, you will have to take into account our advice and do exactly as we said; it is the only way the lamb will grow up to be a ram whose fleece is healthy, clean, and resilient in any situation. It is also the only way that your wish will come true!

“Then, when the lamb grows up to become a beautiful ram with twisted horns, he’ll express his wish to drink from the clear spring water, especially after the hour of noon; you should support his wish: that means it is time for him to get sanctified by the tears of our Existence!

“After this memorable visit to the waters of the clean spring, you will have to shear the beautiful fleece that adorns his young body. You will return with it to the waters of the spring from which the ram drank. You will soak it well, washing it in order to make it pure, as pure as those clear waters. Then you will take the wool in the middle of the field of grains and stretch it in the sunshine, so that the rays will infuse it with all the pleasant smells of nature. You will then gather it carefully and take it home. You will transform it with love in balls of yarn which you will place on the distaff, and with the aid of a playful spindle you will give birth to a strand of wool which would have to reach the length of 738 metres, not more, not less! It is very important for the life of the child to whom you will give birth. Knit the wool thread into a pullover fit for a grown-up man. Do not let yourself be discouraged by the greatness of the task, as it is the Lord’s wish.

“But do not forget: you will have to do everything out of pure love!”

The virgin looked at the saints dumb-struck not being able to say a single word. She had understood who she was talking to, as well as the importance of their message. They continued:

“You will then find a suitable place for the pullover in your bedroom, on a coat rack made of pinewood: the person wearing it will be beautiful and resilient, just like that wonderful tree! Be careful: the coat rack should not be too far away from your bed, so that every time you see the pullover, you can just imagine the son you desire fitting into it! He will visit you in your dreams, because you will permanently call on him with longing, and then you will be able to see even better how your son will look when he wears on the pullover you knitted. You will imagine the way he looks at you, rejoicing at your presence in his life. During these times of intense joy and togetherness you experience together, the Lord’s miracle will visit you in order to fulfil your burning desire to have a child.

“The ram that you will raise will continue to stay and live with you under the same roof, until the time when his mission on this earth has been accomplished. Then you will burn his lifeless body, transforming it into white ashes. You will blow the ashes into the wind. Taking them in his arms, he will bring them above the sick fields of grains, and these will become healthy when he scatters them over.

“You must know that he will not be like any ram: he is part of the divine plan of the birth of the Holy Son on this Earth. This is why even the existence of this animal remains a sacred one for us.

“But after the death of the ram, your son will depart home. Do not worry because of this, even if he is still a child in your eyes: he will have to follow the road which was destined for him by his father. Wherever he goes, he will be protected by the Lord. When the mission on earth has been accomplished, your son will go to him for good.

“When he prepares to set out on this path, your son will have to wear the pullover you knitted out of the wool of that ram. Your pity and love will always be with him this way, guiding him every step of the way, wherever he might be.”

The virgin listened with great attention to the saints. Wording her next question carefully in order not to offend them, the virgin asked: