Hard Times

MAKING MONEY

MAKING MONEY

Tell me, who doesn’t want his bread and butter?

Oh, we all do!

But we all know that to be able to have a nibble of buttered bread, we first need to have the bread and butter.

And to have the bread and butter, we need to buy it.

And to buy the bread and butter, we need money.

And to get that money we need to earn it.

And to earn that money…

Ah, funny people, that’s why there’s a housing shortage in Kharkiv, so that you can earn money.

You haven’t got any money? Then go and let everyone know that you’re a real estate agent. That nobody in the world can get them as good a room as you. Nobody.

That’s all there is to it...

And then you’ll be in the money and have your own honestly-earned slice of bread and butter.

You’ll grin all day long and pray to your God each night:

‘Dear Lord! Let the housing shortage last for ever and ever! Amen.’

It’s not difficult to call yourself a real estate agent…

And it’s only a wee bit harder (and only a wee bit) to find a tumbledown shed in some yard (preferably in an inner suburb, of course)…

And you’re set…

You catch (more correctly they catch you) people looking for a room...

You know yourself how many of these people there are in Kharkiv now...

“Need a room?”

“My dear fellow! I’ve been looking for six months!”

“I can offer you a residence (say ‘residence’ rather than ‘room’). An inner suburb, with a yard, ground floor… Electricity, water and central heating in the building… No bond… You just pay for the area you rent.”

“My dear man! Show me!”

“That can be arranged, only on one condition. If you don’t like it – three rubles for my troubles…”

“My dear fellow! Let’s go!”

You take the person there…

“Don’t like it? Three rubles…”

“But you said there was electricity, water, central heating.”

“There is… in the building. Go in and see for yourself. I haven’t lied one bit… The fact that there’s nothing here… I didn’t mention that this residence had any amenities… It hasn’t.”

“It’s a cowshed...”

“Maybe a cowshed in your opinion, but in my eyes it’s a residence… So hand over them three rubles. You promised…”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Bring round half a dozen people each day, and you’ve earned your bread and butter…

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Hurry, friends… A lot of people are making good money this way and doing quite well out of it too.

12.2.1926