Boys Like Him

High-end patch of moss

The world returned in slow, staggering pieces.

First, there was the sound of our lungs filling the silence that had settled over the trees. Then, the sensation of the cooling air hitting my damp skin, sending a violent shiver through my frame, that Lloyd immediately felt. Without a word, he shifted his weight, pulling me into the hollow of his chest, wrapping his arms around me like a shield against the night.

I rested my temple against his shoulder, watching the way his chest rose and fell in deep, shuddering heaves. A single bead of sweat rolled down the center of his back, disappearing into the shadows. My own limbs felt like lead, heavy and buzzing with a pleasant, humming numbness.

His hand, still trembling slightly, came up to stroke my hair. He didn't use the smooth, practiced touch of a man who had done this a thousand times, instead, his fingers were hesitant, tucking a stray, tangled lock behind my ear with a delicacy that made my throat tighten. He pressed a lingering, soft kiss to the top of my head.

I looked down at our intertwined legs, pale against the dark, crushed moss and the scattered debris of the forest floor. The "itch" was gone, replaced by a profound, hollowed-out quiet. I reached out, tracing the jagged line of a fresh scratch on his forearm, a mark I knew I'd put there, and he let out a long, shaky exhale that puffed white in the moonlight.

I blinked up at the canopy, the reality of the cold moss against my bare skin finally registering. A hysterical, breathless laugh bubbled up in my chest.

"Did we..." I paused, my voice sounding raspy and thin. "Did we actually just hook up in the middle of a forest, Lloyd? Like, on the actual ground?"

He let out a low, rumbling chuckle that vibrated through my back, his eyes glinting with a bit of that old mischief. "Technically, it was an ancient oak tree and a very high-end patch of moss. I'd say we gave it a five-star rating, wouldn't you?"

He grinned, looking far too comfortable for a man who had just been a wild animal two minutes ago. But as the adrenaline began to drain, leaving me hollowed out and shivering, the wit didn't feel funny anymore. The "Safe Nyelle" I'd buried back at the fence started clawing her way to the surface, screaming in my ear.

What are you doing? The question felt like a slap. I looked down at my discarded clothes, tangled in the dirt, and a sudden, sharp wave of shame crashed over me. I felt cheap, naked, and shivering in the dirt like some cliche in a bad movie. I felt like a w***e. The word looped in my brain, cruel and relentless, making me feel small and useless. I started to pull away from him, my movements jerky and frantic as I reached for my top.

"Nyelle."

His voice was different now. The wit was gone, replaced by a sharp, focused sobriety. He sat up, reaching out to catch my wrist before I could hide myself away. I wouldn't look at him. I couldn't. I was too busy mentally beating myself to a pulp.

"Hey, look at me," he commanded softly. When I didn't, he tucked his finger under my chin, forcing my gaze up to his. "You look like you're panicking. Your head is spinning, I can see it."

"I shouldn't have..." I started, my voice trembling. "This was low and reckless, Lloyd. I don't even.."

"Stop." He cut me off, his grip firm but grounding. "Trust me, nothing is being held against you. Not by me. I don't see you as any less than the woman you were thirty minutes ago. If anything, I see you more."

He leaned in, resting his forehead against mine, his breath warm on my face. "We both wanted this. We're both adults who made a choice because the tension was driving us crazy. You're not 'cheap,' and you're sure as hell not 'useless.' We went for it. No regrets now, ey?"

He searched my eyes, waiting for the spiral to stop. The way he said it, so matter-of-fact, so devoid of judgment, started to quiet the screaming in my head. I stayed frozen for a second, my lungs finally expanding without that sharp, stabbing weight of guilt. I looked at him, and the judgment I expected to see simply wasn't there. There was just Lloyd, his hair a mess, his chest still flushed, looking at me like I was the only thing in the woods that mattered.

"How do you do that?" I whispered, finally reaching for my shirt but moving more slowly this time.

"Do what?"

"Act like the world didn't just shift on its axis," I answered, pulling the fabric over my head. "For me, everything is a calculation. Every move has a ripple effect. I'm already thinking about how I'm going to look at you tomorrow, or how I'm supposed to act when we walk back into that house."

Lloyd reached for his own shirt, but he didn't put it on yet. He stayed seated on the moss, knees bent, looking entirely at home in the dark. "Nyelle, the axis didn't shift. We just finally stopped pretending there wasn't a magnet between us. I've wanted to do that since the moment you moved in, looking like you wanted to be anywhere else."

He reached out, his hand covering mine where it rested on the ground. "Where do we stand? We stand exactly where we were, just without the tension keeping us from breathing. I'm still the guy who thinks you're the most interesting person in any room, and you're still the girl who's way too smart for her own good."

"But it's different now," I countered, my voice soft. "You can't go back to just 'friends' after... that."

"Who says I want to go back?" He squeezed my hand. "I like where we are. I like that I know what you taste like now. I like that we have a secret that's vibrating between us while my friends are in there shouting about basketball. It doesn't have to be a 'downfall,' Nyelle. It can just be a beginning."

I looked at our joined hands, the silver of his watch glinting in the pale light. The "Safe Nyelle" was still there, but she was quieter now, muffled by the sincerity in his voice. He wasn't tossing me aside, and he wasn't labeling me. He was giving me permission to just be.

"A beginning," I repeated, the word feeling strange and heavy on my tongue.

"A beginning," he confirmed, a small, lopsided smile tugging at his lips. "Now, unless you want to spend the rest of the night becoming one with the forest, we should probably get back before Marcus starts a search party and finds us in a very compromising position."

I laughed then, a real one this time, and the last of the shame evaporated into the night air. I stood up, brushing the stray leaves from my legs, feeling a strange, new power humming under my skin.

We walked back slowly, fingers still loosely laced, like neither of us wanted to be the first to let go.

The forest thinned, party noise growing from a distant throb to a full roar. Light spilled through the trees ahead, spinning colors, flashing strobes leaking from the open doors. Each step pulled us closer to reality, and I felt my pulse pick up again from the sudden, sharp awareness of what we must look like.

My skin still tingled everywhere he'd touched. My thighs ached faintly with every stride. My lips felt swollen and tender. Hair that Mariah had spent twenty minutes perfecting now hung in wild, leaf-tangled waves. I could feel a small twig caught somewhere near the crown. I didn't dare reach for it.

Lloyd walked beside me calmly, but I caught the details, his shirt slightly wrinkled, his collar askew, a faint red mark blooming just above it where I'd bitten him. His breathing was even, but his thumb kept stroking slow circles over my knuckles.

We stepped onto the gravel path. The backyard came into view, clusters of people smoking, laughing, red cups glowing under string lights.

A few heads turned.

Then more.

Whispers rippled outward as a stone dropped in water.

I felt heat flood my face. I tried to smooth my top and tuck my hair behind my ear, anything to look less like I'd just been thoroughly f****d against a tree.

It didn't work.

Lloyd squeezed my hand, then let go as we reached the porch steps. We stepped inside.

A group near the door went quiet mid-laugh. A girl's mouth actually fell open. Two guys by the keg exchanged glances, one smirking, the other raising brows.

I kept walking, chin up, but my stomach twisted.

Mariah appeared like a guardian angel or devil, depending on the moment, cutting through the crowd with Nate trailing. Her eyes locked on me and widened.

Her grin bloomed slow and wicked.

"Oh my God," she mouthed.

She grabbed my arm without asking and yanked me toward the hallway, away from the main room.

"Excuse us," she sang to no one in particular, steering me into a quieter corner near the stairs.

The second we were semi-alone, she spun me around.

"Tell me everything, or I will literally die right here."

I laughed. "Mariah.."

"No." She held up a hand. "Start from when you vanished. I turn around, you're gone. Lloyd's gone. Now you're back looking like you've been..." She gestured wildly at my entire body. "..thoroughly ravished. Details. Now."

My face burned hotter. "We... went outside. For air."

"Air," she repeated, deadpan.

"Then... further outside."

Her eyes went comically wide. "In the woods?!"

"Shh! Not here"

"You absolute legend." She grabbed my shoulders. "How was it? Scale of one to life-altering?"

I bit my lip, couldn't help the smile. "Life-altering."

She squealed then slapped a hand over her mouth when heads turned.

Across the room, Lloyd had been swallowed by his teammates.

"Where'd you disappear to, captain?" Julian yelled, grinning too widely.

"Yeah," Marcus added, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "One minute you're here, next poof. Vanished with meme girl."'

Laughter erupted.

Lloyd's eyes flicked to me before he smirked at them.

"Needed air," he responded loudly.

"Air," Theo echoed, mocking. "Sure. That's why your shirt's inside out?"

It wasn't, but they howled anyway.

He took the ribbing without flinching, but I saw the faint flush on his neck.

I felt a stare.

Brianna.

Across the room, leaning against the wall with a red cup, surrounded by cheerleaders.

Her eyes were locked on me.

My stomach dipped.

Mariah followed my gaze. Her smile faded.

"Oh, honey," she murmured. "That one's gonna be a problem."

I swallowed.

Lloyd caught my eye again through the crowd.

He lifted his cup slightly.

I lifted mine back.