Whisper of the heart

CHAPTER4

I expected to hear the splash of water around me as I dropped into the sea and then I’ll drown and finally die and meet with my mother my only family but then I realized I was hanging midair and instead of the splash of water, noises of people filled my ear and I was forced to open my eyes.

I saw a familiar face among the many different faces that had gathered around me. She looked scared to death. Where do I know her from? They were trying to pull me back to safety and I was looking at them lost.

“She is wounded, we need to take her to the hospital,” one of the men who had helped to bring me unto the bridge said judging by my blood stained dress.

“I work at the hospital not far from here and I know her,” the familiar woman said. Right… she was the nurse from this morning. “Help me bring here there,” she pleaded and one of the men volunteered to carry me but I pushed him away.

“Leave me alone!” I moved back towards the iron bar on the bridge while facing the small crowd that had gathered. “I just want to die.” The nurse shook her head negatively and her hand went to her mouth.

“No, please… calm down, we can talk about this.” She tried to get closer to me and I moved back with so much force that I tripped and fell backwards… off the bridge

“I want to die,” were the words that left my mouth as I fell into the sea and their loud gasps and the nurse’s bulging eye were the last images I took with me into the sea… to my mother.

I sank deep into the water with my eyes open and air leaving my nose and mouth in large bubbles, before I ran out of air and I began to struggle in the water. I opened my mouth catch some air but only water filled it. My nostrils were inhaling water too and I was turning around in agony.

Death was so painful- or maybe the kind of death I chose for myself was very painful- but it was way better than to be alive. At least I know that I am supposed to breathe in air and not water, I also know if I disobey this simple rule of nature- like I am doing now- I’ll die. But it was not like that with me and my father. Everything he did to me was the opposite of a natural relationship between a father and his daughter.

Darkness overwhelmed me but it was not for long. Within a few minutes, I was coughing and when I tried to breathe in, I got air instead of water. Was nature also playing a prank on me? Or was I already dead?

I opened my eyes and I met the nurse’s red face. We were still but we seemed to be moving. There were people around me but not the ones from earlier, theses ones looked like doctors. If they are then I am in an ambulance.

“Why?” I asked the woman whom I am very sure was behind my rescue she sniffed in but before she could give me a reply my eyes closed.

When they opened again, I was in the back seat of a moving car. I sat up alarmed and the nurse’s face filled the rearview mirror.

“Please be calm, I know you are angry at me but please don’t try anything silly… hear me out first.” She didn’t stop the car but she kept her eyes on the rearview mirror, watching me closely. She had saved me twice that is the least I can do for her before finding another easy way out of this world.

“You might want to focus on the road, I am ready to die but are you?” I relaxed and she averted her eyes to the road. I leaned against the window of the car and watched the shops and people pass by.

“Here,” she passed me a cup of herbal tea.

“Thank you,” That was the first thing I was putting in my stomach that entire day but surprisingly I was not hungry. I took a sip then looked around.

“I stay alone, my daughter is in college, she only comes back during the holidays.” She smiled, sipping her tea.

“And husband?” my voice came out hoarse.

“Dead. It really traumatized our little Emily… she was so fond of him.” She managed a small smile. “She was thirteen when he passed.” She continued and I kept my eyes on her. “She’s coping well now.” She sipped her tea and c****d her head to the side.

“And you? Parents, siblings, husband or any relations?”

“Father… or will I say ex father?” I scoffed. “Mother died when I was very young, it was hard on both father and I. I thought he would get over it, he didn’t. He grew worse. Last night he and his friend…” my voice cracked and I had to clear my throat and try again. “Last night he and his friend r***d me in an abandoned warehouse and left me there to die.” She was shocked that she turned pale. She didn’t move for a few seconds and I became worried.

“Are you okay?” my eyebrows creased with worry.

“Yes,” she blinked. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t be asking you that. Are you okay?” she moved closer to me, color has no returned to her face. I nodded. “Was that why you wanted to kill yourself?” she stroke my hair compassionately. For a moment I saw mother’s eyes in hers and tears pooled in my eyes.

“He told me he was not my family and he wanted me dead, I was only doing both of us a favor,” I whispered. My voice had failed me.

“Come here,” she pulled me to an embrace. I was still in her arms when my eyes caught something on the table.

“Who is this and how are you related to him?” I fired at her breaking free from her embrace.