Clinging to Friendship

Chapter 8

A week had passed by since Ji-Yeong had shown up at our school and in my life. Our exams had come and gone, Layne, of course, had done the best out of all of us on his exams. I think he only got like one B out of all the tests he had. I’m sure that if my dad wasn’t so transphobic he would rather have him for a son. Poor Ji-Yeong hadn’t done as well as the two of us had but that was just because he came in near the very end of the semester, I was honestly surprised that the school had still made him take the exams. I thought it was pretty unfair of them to make him take them. Though all of that was done with and we were finally done and on winter vacation.

The first day of vacation immediately started out with a lie, Ji-Yeong and I were in Layne’s house. In order for me to be able to come over and hang out, I’d had to lie and say that I was going to hang with Ji-Yeong at his house, and thankfully my parents had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. I was planning on staying the night, but I had no idea whether or not Ji-Yeong would be staying with us. When I invite him, I usually just had him stay for the afternoon and leave after dinner. I don’t know how I’d act if he stayed in my room for the entire night, I think I would just be so stressed I wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Currently, all three of us were hanging out in Layne’s room, we had Netflix playing some b rated horror movie.

“I don’t know how you can watch these? Like why not watch a good one instead of these shitty ones?” Ji-Yeong rewound the movie to the part where one of the many pretty blonde girls was being stabbed in the chest, which led to her blood spraying out and dousing the monster head to toe in blood. “No one’s blood sprays out like that with one hit to the chest, that kind of spray is more likely if the carotid artery was slashed,” he berated, huffing at the movie angrily. It turned out that Ji-Yeong loved to watch horror movies but that occasionally clashed with his love of forensics. Over these past weeks, I had learned that he one day wanted to be a forensic scientist. He had his future planned out and I couldn’t even figure out what I wanted for dinner some days. I currently had less than a month to apply for colleges and figure out my major and all I did was keep putting it off. I wish that I could be like Ji-Yeong sometimes…

“Hey, how do you know how blood sprays after being stabbed? Are you hiding something?” Layne asked from behind his pillow. He had the weaker stomach between the three of us and never enjoyed our horror movie marathons.

“No, I’m just not an i***t,” Ji-Yeong returned haughtily, his nose upturned at Layne. He sounded completely serious but there was no way he was.

“You sure about that? Your grades were lower than mine for the finals!” I joked, ruffling his hair playfully, to which he grumbled and pushed my hand away from him.

“That wasn’t my fault, you know. This school is just dumb,” he pouted, crossing his hands over his chest. It brought a smile to my face. It sucked that he was upset over his grades (I would be too) but his expression was just so endearing.

Reaching out I pinched both of his cheeks. He gaped at me and pulled my hands off him, whining as he did so.

“Why do you keep messing with me like this?” He rubbed his cheeks attempting to calm down the pinkness that had come from my attack. I laughed and tried to pinch him again, only to have Layne jump out in front of me.

“Stop bullying the new kid! He’s gonna want to stop being friends with us!” Layne cried out, begging me to leave Ji-Yeong alone. I cackled and climbed off of the bed.

“Never!” I swung my arm out and pointed at Ji-Yeong, “I won’t stop until he admits defeat.” I yelled in mock bravado. Layne’s eyes lit up, he knew exactly what was going on. Ji-Yeong, on the other hand, had never been more confused.

“I won’t let you, evil Trakon, I will protect Ji-Yeong against your villainy,” He yelled, jumping to his feet, his hands on his hips. Ji-Yeong raised his hand and looked between the two of us.

“Excuse me, but what are you two doing?” He questioned, dropping his hand back on the bed.

“Oh, haven’t you heard? This was like their favorite game when they were ten.” Poppy explained, popping her head into Layne’s room. “I heard you guys from the hallway,” she mentioned when she noticed I was staring at her. Then she left.

“Alrighty then… What is this game?” Ji-Yeong asked, deciding to ask us to clarify.

“Basically, it’s just this game of tag. One of us is the villain and the other is the superhero who has to save whatever person the villain has their eye on. If the superhero fails, then the victim is the new villain. And whenever it starts it tends to go for a while.” Layne explained, not taking his eyes off of me. It was smart of him to do so, if he had I would’ve grabbed a pillow off of the bed and hit him with it and then tagged Ji-Yeong.

“Honestly… That kind of sounds like a dumb game.”

“It can be if you play it wrong. We’ve gotten to the point where we are insanely good,” Layne said, jumping to the floor with me. “Other people we’ve had play end up letting their charge get turned into a villain in like two minutes.”

“I think it’s just that they don’t care,” I mentioned. Ji-Yeong nodded in agreement, a slight smile on his face.

“Yeah, I think I agree…” Ji-Yeong was trying to say before being interrupted by his phone ringing loudly. He answered it and would speak in Korean every once in a while. I assumed he was speaking to his mother. Ji-Yeong spoke for a little bit before ending the call and looking back to us.

“Hey, I have to go. My mom wants me back home. So, come on superhero.” Ji-Yeong slid off the bed and walked over to the door, Layne close on his heels. Ji-Yeong waved goodbye to me, his gaze lingering on me, even as he turned away to leave the room. My heart tensed in my chest, it hurt… but in a good way.

“I’ll see you later!” I called out to him, as the door closed behind the two of them. The door closed, and for some reason, it felt like it would never open again. I collapsed on Layne’s bed, covering my face with my hands, and groaned loudly. Why did I do that? I just told him about this stupid, and kind of embarrassing game from when I was ten. I was 18 now! Aghhh! I’m an i***t, a moron. My brain totally flew the coop.

“Yo… Um… Kian? What are you doing?” I heard Layne’s voice call through my thoughts. I didn’t move my hands, now I was embarrassed that my friend had caught me like this. I groaned again and slapped my face. “Are you ok dude?” He asked, taking my hand away, revealing my face to him.

“No… I really don’t think I’m ok.” I mumbled. My stomach churned and bubbled like I had a million butterflies ready to fly. My heart kept beating against my chest so hard I thought it would burst out. I couldn’t make sense of these feelings. It was all so cliché but… But I didn’t know how else to describe it to myself.

“Are you sick? Do you need to go home too?” He fretted, pressing his hand to my forehead. “You don’t feel warm…”

“No, no, no. It’s nothing like that Layne. I just feel wrong,” I stated, still mumbling. I had a feeling I knew what was going on, but I didn’t want to confront it. Confronting it meant that it was happening to me.

“You know you can tell me what’s wrong? I’ll always be here for you.” Layne comforted me, rubbing my shoulder gently. His gentle touch didn’t help… But maybe it would help if I talked to him. There was no way he’d judge me… and maybe he could help me with what I was feeling. He might have some clue on how to help me. I took some deep breaths trying to calm myself down.

Layne wouldn’t judge me. I never judged him. He wouldn’t judge me. Layne was trans. I… I was something. If I spoke to him he could help me. I was always there to help him, it’s the same for him. He’s always there to help me. I took in another deep breath before I spoke.

“I think I like Ji-Yeong…” I whispered. There it was out in the open. But now that it was, all I wanted to do was backpedal and keep that locked back up. Though now that it was out, everything felt calm once again inside. My heart was no longer beating crazily, and my stomach felt better.