Clinging to Friendship

Chapter 3

It was finally the end of this awful day. I was currently sitting down on my bed, watching some boring movie on Netflix. Layne was over at my desk, working on his homework like a good little nerd.

“You know it really sucks that you can’t drive me to school,” I groaned, flopping backwards onto my bed. “Your parents are too strict.”

“I’m not a taxi service, dumbass,” Layne muttered, “Can’t you shut up and do your homework?” Jeez. He must still be really upset with me over this morning. I groaned again and reached over the side of my bed to grab my homework from my backpack.

“I’m sorry I ruined your chances of being friends with Ji-Yeong,” I might as well apologize. I was totally in the wrong by being mean to him. I knew that Layne was generally a friendly guy and he really liked trying to make friends with people. I kind of ruined that for him with my weird attitude toward Ji-Yeong. “I really should have tried to be more polite to him.”

“Yeah, you really should’ve been nicer. I saw how you were looking at him. Your face kept switching between ‘Man Ji-Yeong is f*****g hot’ and ‘Oh god, it’s such a nuisance talking to anyone besides Layne,” he complained at me. Though I had barely heard that last part, I was in shock over the fact that I had been that obvious and he had noticed it.

“What the f**k, Layne?” I hissed at him. Just because I’d been a bit bitchy today didn’t mean that he had the right to bring that up.

“What?” Layne asked, he genuinely looked confused, “What’s up with you? It was a joke.” One of his eyebrows was raised at me, he looked a little suspicious of me. Honestly, I didn’t think that anyone could have such a mix of confusion and suspicion than Layne right now.

“Dude, you scared me. I thought that you thought I was gay,” I laughed as I rubbed the back of my neck. I looked toward the door anxiously. This was probably about to take a turn for the worst and I was mixed on whether I wanted someone to come in or not.

“Kian, I’m trans. Even if you were gay, I seriously would never judge you for it,” Layne at this point turned in his chair to look me in the eyes. His dark blue eyes didn’t hold the laughter they usually did, they were completely serious. Layne stood up from the chair and sat down beside me on my bed. “You never once judged me, so why would I ever judge you?”

“I get that you wouldn’t judge me. You aren’t that kind of person… There aren’t that many gay people here in Brooks dale and I’m not adding to it. Don’t try to force your ideology on me. I’m straight Layne, and I’m keeping it that way,” I tightened my jaw as I spoke. Saying that to him really hurt me, and I knew that it hurt him. I headed over to the door and held it open for him. “Could you leave now?” I avoided his gaze, knowing I didn’t want to face what was in his eyes.

I walked over to my desk and started shoving his homework into his backpack. Layne sighed deeply, but I heard him finally get off my bed. He pushed me away from his backpack and finished putting his stuff away. He picked up his backpack and put it on before he left my room.

After I was sure that he was gone, I fell face first onto my bed. Damn it all. I was the worst kind of friend. I immediately regretted saying all of that. Layne never deserved me saying all of that crap to him. He was just trying to be a good friend and here I was taking all of my frustrations out on him. I slammed my hands against my face and just yelled as loud as I could.

“Kian! Be quiet, your sister is taking a nap,” my mother snapped, popping her head in to look at me. “I’d rather not spend any more of my time trying to put her to bed.

“Yeah… I’m sorry mom. I just got into a fight with Layne, and it was all my fault,” I admitted, “I’ll be quieter…” I heard the door open wider and my mom’s soft footfalls on my hardwood floor.

“Oh, I’m sure it wasn’t all your fault baby,” she said patting my back softly. “Sometimes people just have a bad day, that’s probably it.” I nodded but didn’t look back at her. “Alright then… I have to go get started on dinner, please don’t disturb your father or sister.”

“Yes mom… I promise I’ll be quiet”

~

“Kian! Get down here please, dinner is ready!” My mom yelled to me from the kitchen downstairs. I woke up from my nap, groaning. I looked at my clock on the bedside table and saw that it was somehow already 5pm. How did 2 hours pass by that quickly?

“Kian!” She yelled again.

“Yeah, yeah! I’ll be down in just a second mom,” I said, calling down to her. I seriously didn’t want to move from my bed but if I didn’t get up now, she would come up and yell at me for being lazy and I definitely didn’t want that. I forcefully pushed myself off of the bed and opened my door. The clink and clank of dishware sounded from downstairs, as my mom walked around, probably setting the table for dinner. I headed down the hallway, passing by my dad’s office. The door was open which was rare, usually it was closed to any distractions, namely his family.

“Yes… I know that… They just keep popping up… I swear, they should just be jailed ndugu… It is gross… Sometimes I think I should return to Uganda… those damn homos…” I bit my lip, trying to keep my opinions to myself. I knocked on the open door and waited for him to welcome me. “Excuse me, Kian is at my door… Yes… I have to go Zuberi, I will talk to you later,” I heard the beep of the phone call ending which led to, “You may come in Kian.” I rushed into his room and waved politely at him.

“Hello father, mom said that dinner was ready. So, I came to get you, that way you wouldn’t miss it.” He nodded.

“Thank you, Kian. I will be down in a minute,” I smiled at him before leaving the room. I loved my dad and all, but he was a little scary. He was an incredibly stern man, and he took his beliefs very seriously. It was basically his way or the highway with him. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

There she was, standing at the counter, my little sister on her hip and a pot on the counter beside her.

“There you are Kian, I was about to come upstairs and get you,” she said. Mom kind of sounded exasperated with me for not being down here when she asked me.

“Yep, I’m here now. I just went to go and get dad.” I said, leaning against the counter. “So, what’s for dinner?” She glared at me and sighed harshly. There were huge dark bags under her eyes and honestly, she looked like she wouldn’t last another second on her feet. Quincy on the other hand was the exact opposite. It was like she had sucked all the energy out of our mom. Quincy was giggling and waving her arms around, babbling incoherently.

“You know Kian, I hate that question. Why can’t you just wait until it’s dished out?” she huffed, snapping a little. “Now, take your sister and put her in her chair. Please and thank you.” I knew she wasn’t angry at me. Mom was just exhausted, and it would probably be smart of me to just help her out. I held out my arms to take her and she handed Quincy to me. I braced myself to hold her as she was getting bigger by the day. She wasn’t a baby anymore, in fact, she was almost two years old.

I left the kitchen and headed into the dining room, clutching my little sister close to my side. She was smiling and poking me in the side.

“Hi! Hi!” she greeted me. I smiled at her, it was rare for her to speak without it being kind of a babble, which was unlike kids her age, but whenever she was with me she would attempt to speak to me.

“Hi there Quincy, how are you?” I asked her before settling her down into her high chair. I buckled her in to the chair so that she wouldn’t fall out with her constant love of wiggling and poked her nose playfully.

“Ok! I’m ok! How are you?” she asked me excitedly. She was kind of yelling at me as she talked. Quincy was a loud little girl, personally I didn’t care enough about it now, she was two. I smiled again and poked her in the cheek.

“I’m doing just fine, thank you for asking Quincy,” she nodded, her eyes glistened with happiness and she had a huge grin plastered across her face. She might be a two-year-old pain, but I loved my little sister.

“Hey Kian! Can you grab Quincy’s and your food please?” my mom called from inside the kitchen. I replied with a confirmation before leaving my sister in the dining room and heading back into the kitchen.

Back in the kitchen I saw two bowls already ready with food. One for Quincy and one for me. Quincy’s bowl was shaped like a duck, her favorite animal, and one was a regular ceramic green bowl. On the plate was my favorite meal, beef stew! Weird, mom almost never made this meal, something was up. I took the two bowls, thanked my mom, and brought them back into the dining room.

~

The scraping of spoons on the bowls filled the air as my family ate. It was pretty much the only thing I could hear as I worried over what was going to be said to me. The only time I would get my favorite food was if I had good grades or if my parents had something to tell me. I knew it wasn’t about my grades, they were at an all time low for me right now…

Suddenly one of the spoons stopped scrapping. I looked up from my bowl, my stomach twisting in knots, my dad had been the one to stop eating. Oh no.

“Kian,” his voice was hard, and I felt a shiver go up my spine. I totally wasn’t going to like what was about to be said. “I know that you have trouble making friends, but,” there it was, the but… oh god, where was this going? “I know that you have been friends with Kassidy for a very long time, but I would like it if you would stop talking to her and attempt to befriend someone else.” He sounded completely calm, polite, like he was only asking me, but I could tell that he wasn’t asking. He was demanding.

What the f**k. I wasn’t a child anymore. He couldn’t just demand that I leave Layne and stop talking to him. He was my best f*****g friend. My blood was boiling, my face felt like it was on fire. I was so close to just getting up from the table and slapping him across the face.

“Are you serious?” my voice was cold, tight. I was so angry that tears were pricking at the corners of my eyes. Any second now he would answer me, and I had to stay as calm as I could.

“Yes, Kian, I am.” He stated, his tone just as cold and tight as mine.