Myriad

Hangover

I remember waking up in the middle of the night to a blinding headache aka hangover and checking the time. Big red numbers flash on my retina 03:24 AM. Painkillers and a glass of cold water or one more shot would be heavenly, but unfortunately the kitchen is too far away. I go for option number three. I turn around to keep the lights from my sensitive eyes, fart loudly and come to a stop. My hand hit something hard. And apparently a little hairy. Wtf. Not again. "I promise to god I will stop drinking like a pirate." I think and squeese my eyes so hard shut that tears start to fall. The hard and hairy one has arms. One draws me closer to it and the other starts massaging my temples, drawing small circles from my forhead to my chin while whispering endearments to my ear. I relax instantly and fall asleep in it's arms.

Gong, gong, gong.. the quitar joins in, drums next. It stops and starts again. Where is it? I look to my nightstand and the bedroom floor. Not there. I stop breathing and turn a bright shade of red, when I notice someone looking at my naked form. Just great. I wasn't imagining things. I take a few quick steps and am out of the master bedroom. When Hells bells start the third time I'm rummaging the clothes pile in the bathroom and I find it. It must be something important for the ex aka fucktard to wake me up this early. "What?" I answer. Three seconds too late of course and now I think about calling him back. I really don't want to. It's his weekend to play with our girls or do whatever he does with our teenage princesses. I've still got 26h 18min of precious free time on my hands. 

The phone starts ringing again and I answer in a really pissed off tone. "What?". "Well my friend asked me to take him to IKEA and buy a few fake trees for his balcony. Those are on sale and I promised to take him, so I'm dropping the girls to your place in thirty minutes": He says. "You. What?". Is all I'm able to get out before says: "Your at home, right?". I reply "Yes" and then the line gets dead. I stand in place with my mouth open and try to figure out what just happened. 

I hear footsteps from behind me. I turn around and hear Close to you in my head. "On the day that you were born the angels danced together and decided to create a dream com true. So they sprinkled moon dust in your in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue."  The perfect specimen. Maybe 6"4, abs to die for, big muscular arms as well as other lovely body parts that are all hanging in plain sight. I drool like a little girl and am about to do a happy dance when he asks: "What was the noise my beloved?". This cannot be happening. The one time when I break my rules and bring something else than a douche to my place from our famous bar tours, I have to tell him to go away, 'cause my girls are coming home and there's no way I'm gonna introduce a one night stand to them. They think I'm a proper mama and a lady with high standards. "Hi. Well thanks for the night sweetey, but I'm really busy now and I'm sure that you are too, so maybe we could go our separate ways as in now." He looks at me for a second and nods. "As milady wishes". He turns around and I follow him to the master bedroom. I take a white tee with a flashing unicorn and black yoga pants from my closet while he pulls a white toga on. 

He walks silently to my side. Waits paciently until I turn to face him. Then he pulls me to a tight embrace. He kisses me cheek tenderly and says: "Remember beloved. Call me when you need me and I shall be by your side."And then he leaves. I keep staring at the door. Wtf was that. I've absolutely no idea what his name is or what his number is. How am I supposed to call him? And what was with that kiss? He obviously spent the night with me, so why not kiss me properly. My skin is still tingling from his touch, but if I've already gotten a piece of that kind of hotness, then I would have wanted a little more action. 

The front door opens and closes and my personal life is once again put on hold. The loves of my life starts yapping about how hungry they are and how dad didn't have anything to eat. The girls take a look of me, nod knowingly to each other and decide to order in. I must look and smell like s**t, so I hit the shower and when the rushing water makes me feel more alive I feel the Mother of the year award slipping through my fingers.