Behind the Puppet Master

The Service

The last few days have been a blur. A mix of me attempting to sleep, waking up from awful nightmares, crying some more, and sitting alone in my room. Alexia has come by every day to bring me food or sit with me, but not wanting to inconvenience her, I act like I'm okay so she doesn't feel obligated to stay for long. Wayne has also been messaging me to check on me, asking me if I needed him to get me anything. I've been receiving emails of condolences from left and right. While the support is overwhelming, and heartwarming, I would still rather have my dad with me. The house feels different without him. So empty. 

Somehow, it's already Saturday. I'm not sure where all the time went. All I know is that I still have last minute arrangements before the service. I eventually manage to force myself out of bed, and into the shower. It takes every bit of strength to do anything at all. I let the water run as I stand under it, not knowing how much time passes. When I notice my fingers have become wrinkly, I decide it’s finally time to get out. I look at the mirror, at the unrecognizable person staring back at me. The dark bags under my eyes make me look like a raccoon.

I hear my phone ringing, bringing my attention back to earth. I rush to answer it, and it's Miss June. Right; how did it slip that she was coming here to get me ready? "Hello?" I answer, trying to sound alive.

"I'm almost there, child. Thank you for sending Mr. Wayne to pick me up. Public transportation would've been a nightmare."

"Of course. Thank you for the heads up. See you soon, Miss June."

She hangs up and I go to find my robe to cover myself up. This is as presentable as I'm going to get for now. After making sure the robe is on, and tied tight, I head downstairs to await her arrival. My legs are almost too weak from lack of use, as I reach the bottom of the stairs. "Just try to get through today. One day at a time, Alina." I try to encourage myself. I'm just so exhausted and want to go back to bed-

I suddenly hear the sound of Wayne pulling up the driveway and go to open the door. I see Miss June is excited to see me, but there’s pain evident in her eyes, despite trying to hide it. "Good morning, child." She pulls me in for a tight embrace, as if she's trying to absorb some of my pain. "How're ya holdin' up?"

"As well as I can, I suppose." 

She gives me a smile filled with sympathy, and gives my cheek a small gentle pat as if to say, "Stay strong, child."

I step aside to let her into the home. She heads up to my bedroom, and I turn around just as Wayne comes up with a bouquet of flowers. "Ms. Monroe." He greets me and gives me a tight hug. "Is there anything you need me to get for you before the service?" 

I take the flowers and try to hold it together, "N- no, no thanks."

He nods and tells me to let him know if I change my mind. After patting my shoulder, he leaves to take care of the last minute arrangements.

I take a deep breath and look down at the bouquet. I’m so sick of flowers, it reminds me of the day in the hospital. Except now, I start dreading the service today and tomorrow, knowing I'm going to be receiving a lot of flowers. "You ready, child?" Miss June calls out.

I swallow the random lump in my throat and say, "I'm coming!" 

Absent-mindedly, I head upstairs while still holding on to the bouquet of flowers. Soon, I find myself looking into my room, noticing that Miss June has set up the makeup area. She turns to find me standing at the doorway and without missing a beat, she says, "well are ya waiting for a written invitation, child?" I chuckle, knowing she's not coddling me, and being the same person she always is. "Set those flowers down somewhere, and let's get to it!" She orders.

She leads me to the chair and sits me down in a hurry, studying my face. She shakes her head and sighs a little, "you really wanna test my makeup skills dontcha?" I shake my head with a smile, and she returns a smile, before going right to work.

She starts by priming my face with that secret concoction of hers, which instantly hypnotizes me. I think back to the first time she used this on my face; to the first time I met Alexia, and can’t help but smile. Everything was so simple then- I suddenly remember that it was also when my dad was still alive- and now I’m sad again. I start tearing up and Miss June is trying to be sympathetic but tells me, “ah, ah, ah, no crying off the primer, honey, just you wait until I set it in place, okay?”

After taking a deep breath, I nod in answer. She gives me a little smile, grabs some makeup and gets to work. She mutters under her breath as she talks to herself, figuring out the best way to cover up my dark circles. When she brings her attention back to reality, she makes small talk to get my mind off of the sadness. Things like asking if I’ve met anyone yet, how the job is going, what else I’ve been up to lately. With a failed attempt to hide my blush, I tell her I have met someone, but nothing is happening between us. She teases me and urges me to spill the tea. I shake my head and just answer that she might not know the person. She pretends to huff and puff, telling me I’m no fun and it brings out a little giggle in me.

Before I realize it, she’s halfway done with my make up. She starts asking me something when we suddenly hear a knock at the door. “Come in?” I say with confusion. Wayne shouldn’t be here already so who could that be? The door handle moves downward, and the door slowly swings open. Alexia peeks her head in and says, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” 

“Oh, we’re just getting finished with my make up.” I reply. 

She walks into the room and stands beside me to look at my face. She comments on how good my makeup looks, and says that she wouldn’t expect anything less from Miss Juniper herself. Startled, I raise my eyebrows and ask, “You two know each other?”

Miss June acts a little insulted, “know each other? Little Miss Alexia? Why, I used to style her myself. Back before her daddy made her try the new ‘in-home-stylist’ contraption. Now she don’t come around to see poor Miss June, no mo’.”

“I tried to stall it, and find as many problems as possible, but I could only delay it so long.” Alexia says apologetically. “Besides, it does nothing compared to what you can do.” Alexia comes around to give her a big hug, and that’s when I notice the slight discoloration on her cheeks. I can tell she made the attempt to cover up what looks like a bruise. 

“Are you okay?” I ask her.

“I’m fine.” she says, acting a little confused, “why do you ask?”

“Your cheek, it looks like it’s bruised?”

“Oh that,” she feigns memory-loss, “I guess I must have bumped into that door harder than I thought-”

Miss June bites her lip and doesn’t say anything, as if she’s trying hard not to let something slip. I look at the both of them, and can tell they might know each other better than I thought. “Besides,” Alexia adds, “this is just further proof that the home stylist isn’t and will never be as good as you Miss Juniper. Can you help me with this annoying bruise? You know how clumsy I can be.”

“Sure thing, sugar, just as soon as I’m done with Miss Alina.” 

This is so strange, but I don’t press the matter any further. Then the three of us talk about the upcoming service and if there’s anything I still have to do. Soon, my makeup and hair is done. I look in the mirror and I look alive and human again. She’s done it again, and turned me from a ghoul to a normal looking human. I thank her immensely for the transformation and go to change while she fixes up Alexia’s makeup. While I enter my closet, I hear Miss June mutter something to Alexia about Michael. I try not to eavesdrop and can’t hear what Alexia says, but all I heard before closing the closet door is Miss June saying a firm, “Good.”

I get changed into all black for the funeral. A small and short black dress, with dark stockings and black heels. I finish the look with some black gloves and accessorize with a black veiled hat. This is the first time I’ve changed into something that isn’t pajamas in a few days. I take a few moments to look at myself in the mirror before going back into my room. I walk in just as Miss June is finished lecturing Alexia about something. 

Miss June waves me over and tells me she has one thing left to do before I’m ready. I look at Alexia, and see that the slight discoloration has been completely erased. Miss June instructs me to close my eyes and sprays something on my face. It feels sticky at first, but when it’s dry I don’t feel it anymore. She tells me she’s made my makeup as waterproof as she can so I can feel free to cry as much or as little as I’d like today. The spray she applied is an even stronger setting spray that will hold everything together for the whole day. Sweat proof, tear proof, and smudge proof. I thank her again and go grab some cash to pay her for today. She gives me a really tight hug and tells me to stay strong today, and that she’ll be there if I need a shoulder throughout the day. 

I check the time and realize it’s time to leave. The three of us head downstairs just as Wayne opens up the front door to check on us. We confirm we’re ready to leave and soon we’re all buckled into the SUV and heading off to the church. The lightened mood we were in earlier is instantly diminished, as I sit there in silence, preparing to see my dad for the first time since the hospital. Alexia can tell and takes my hand in support. I give her hand a little squeeze and it doesn’t escape the watchful eye of Miss June. She raises her eyebrows and I thank the veil and makeup for covering up my blush as I shake my head. The drive lasts only 45 minutes and soon we’re pulling up to the grand and beautiful church. Wayne drops us off and goes to park the car while we enter the church for the viewing. We are the first to arrive, and I take this chance to say my goodbyes. Soon, this place will be filled with mourners and other guests that will come to honor my father. As we enter the church, I start trembling and fight to hold back tears, when I see the casket at the end of the aisle. I feel my breath shorten and begin to lose balance. Alexia holds me to steady me, trying to give me strength. "You got this Deep, Alina. Deep breaths." She reminds me. 

I nod and practice the breathing techniques. We walk for what seems like ages, and it seems as if the casket is miles away. I lose the concept of time as we slowly inch closer and closer. Eventually, we reach the steps that lead up to the casket and I stop dead in my tracks. Another lump has formed in my throat, but this time I'm not sure I can swallow it. They both stop and keep a cautious and watchful eye on me. I glance between the two of them before I lock onto Alexia's eyes. "You okay?" She asks.

All I can do is nod. I take the first step and it feels like climbing a mountain. My legs feel heavy and there's more steps to go. I keep my focus until I finally reach the casket- and I take a deep breath and look into the casket. My jaws drop at how peaceful my dad looks. The jaundiced and weak dad at the hospital was no longer the last way I'll remember him. I'm amazed at how much the embalmer was able to make him look rested. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was sleeping.

"Hi daddy," I start, trying to find the right words to say, "you look good- I miss you a lot," I start sniffling, "and- and- I would give an- anything to- to have you back. We still had so much left to do- to achieve together-" the tears start streaming down my cheeks, and I feel both the arms of Alexia and Miss June wrap around me.

"Come on, child, let us sit you down now." Miss June starts guiding me to the front pew. "Here, take this, you'll need it." She says as she hands me a handkerchief. 

I nod and start gently wiping the tears off my cheeks. I hear some people's voices outside as they make their way into the church. I take a few moments to collect myself, before heading to the entrance to greet the guests. One by one, guests start arriving, and before long, the church is filled. Some guests I recognize, some I've never met before, but one thing they all have in common was how much my dad touched their lives. 

The remainder of the day is a blur of tears. The funeral service was beautiful, and the overwhelming amount of love and support was incredible. Eventually, the service ends and the funeral procession takes place. Wayne is out front waiting to pick us up and we head off to the cemetery. Rows and rows of cars make the drive to the Yorba Linda Cemetery, where he'll be laid to rest beside my mother. Once we get closer to the cemetery, I notice that both sides of the road are lined up with military personnel, holding up the American flag in honor of my father.

Eight honor guards carry my father's casket to the designated plot, and they proceed with the rifle volley. Three shots are fired from each of the eight honor guards. When the salute is finished, they fold the flag on my father's casket into a triangle, fold in three shell casings into the flag and present it to me. The tears work their way down my cheeks again as they proceed with the burial. The casket is lowered into the ground, and I try my hardest to fight back most of the tears. I am the first to throw the patch of dirt into the ground.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust-" the priest officiates.

"Goodbye, daddy." I whisper to myself as I pick up a pile of dirt. "I love you." I throw the dirt into the grave, and finally allow the tears to come out.

A few other people proceed to throw dirt into the ground, and I step away into the shade, to allow myself a moment to breathe and cry. It's finally done, my father has been laid to rest beside his beloved. Wayne and Miss June find me standing in the shade, and walk over to ask me if I needed anything. I shake my head and thank them, and they tell me to let them know when I'm ready to leave. I nod and thank them again. 

William finds me standing in the shade and both he and Elizabeth come over to talk to me. I greeted them earlier, but it was short and respectful as I still had other guests arriving. 

"How are you doing, Alina?" William asks me. His eyes slightly red, evident that he had been crying. 

"As well as I can be- I guess. Thank you for being here." I reply to him.

"I wouldn't have missed this for anything. He was a wonderful friend, colleague and business partner." He hugs me. "Take all the time you need. I'll take care of things at work okay?"

"Thank you, Mr. Fay. I appreciate it, truly." I hug him back tighter.

"My condolences again for your loss." Elizabeth says, as she pulls me in for an embrace. "If you ever need anything, darling, please don't hesitate to ask. William and your father were very close, and we'll always be here for you." 

"Thank you Mrs. Fay." I smile at her. 

She gives me a sincere and heartfelt smile back and bids me goodbye.

I watch as they walk to their awaiting car, and they're soon joined by Alexia. She turns to look at me, gives me a little wave as they enter the car and leave the cemetery. Today has been an extremely long day, and tomorrow is still to come. I let out a little sigh, feeling exhausted from the roller coaster of emotions I've gone through today. A light breeze flows through, and I find comfort in it, as if it's my parents telling me everything will be okay. It's kind of a bittersweet feeling, knowing at least they're finally together again.

My phone starts buzzing with a notification. I check to see if it's the funeral home, or Wayne, or maybe Alexia? The thought of her sends butterflies to my stomach. I hope she was telling me the truth about that bruise- I definitely haven't forgotten about the strange exchange between her and Miss June.

The text is from a blocked number that reads, "This is a little inappropriate, but you look really good today."

I raise my eyebrows, and stare at the text for a few seconds, unsure of what to reply. I start typing out a reply, but then delete it and try again a couple of times before settling with, "I'm sorry, but who is this?"

Something feels really off but I can't quite put my finger on it. I stand there anxiously awaiting this stranger’s reply. The minutes feel like forever, but eventually my phone buzzes again, “Why do you look so uneasy, Alina?” 

If this is some sick joke, it’s not funny. I look around to see if anyone is using their phones or looking in my direction. I glance behind me and don’t see anyone. What do I reply now? I have to know who it is, “Seriously, who is this?”

I’m really starting to lose my patience, so I start looking around for Wayne and Miss June so we can leave. I no longer feel safe just standing here by myself, so I start texting Wayne, “I’m ready to leave if you guys are. Can you come find me when you guys are ready?”

The new text from the stranger pops up as I send the text to Wayne. “Seriously, Alina, anxious isn’t a good look on you.”

I groan, and roll my eyes. That’s it, I’m not entertaining this stranger anymore, “Okay, last chance. If you don’t tell me who you are, I’m blocking this number.”

I receive a text from Wayne, “Alright, we’re just saying our last goodbyes. We’ll come get you soon.”

Relieved, I start walking back towards my parent’s grave. My phone buzzes one more time, “Oh relax, Alina. I’ve always liked that sass in you. Just stop walking and turn around.”

I stop dead in my tracks and wonder if I dare turn around. Maybe I should just ignore it and keep walking away? Unfortunately, curiosity gets the better of me and I turn around. My eyes widen and my heart starts racing; instantly regretting my decision to turn around, because the person walking towards me is none other than Nick, and he’s not alone.