The Guilt, The Lies
992 Words
After I'd lied to my parents about being at Serena's for the day, I feigned I was sick, and headed for my bedroom, locking myself in.
I had broken down.
What was I supposed to do, I mean was it a dream or a memory? I prayed it was a dream, but if it was the truth... it changed everything.
I lay on top of my covers, my phone vibrated ten time before I plucked up the courage to acknowlegde it.
"Hey Cassie you okay?" -Serena.
"Hey Cassie, Your parents rang covered you ass, whats going on?"- Jasper.
"Hey Cassie, Call me when you get this?- Serena.
"Cassie call asap"- Jasper.
I took a few steady breathes...tomorrow I promised myself...
I texted a reply to each of them before switching my phone off.
"Hey Serena, Yeah stayed out late at a bar, don't tell mum and dad, sorry they called. talk tomorrow x"
"Hey Jasper, Sorry stayed out drinking, sorry you had to cover, see you at school, don't worry about picking me up Monday. x"
I was about to switch my phone off, when I thought of Luce and Mr East, who wanted me to call him Gabe out of school.
Should I get a lift Monday? No, I needed time to think, from everyone.
I hit the power off button, throwing my phone on the bed, and turned my xbox on, skyrim wasn't even distracting enough, my dream interrupted my thoughts regularly, causing my character to die from dragons or mudcrabs, I was too distracted to care.
I had gone to bed at 10pm, but instead of sleeping I'd stared at my ceiling for the last 2 hours, wondering whether it was safe to sleep or if I'd be woken again after another weird dream.
I cringed at the throbbing of my collar bone, I lay on my back as my ribs complained if I moved too much.
Though I must have fallen asleep shortly after because I was indeed interrupted by a dream again.
'I sat in the chair, I'd see previously, as my normal self, I didn't struggle but followed the voice in the shadows with my eyes when I could.
"Cas you can't fight forever, if you won't do you job and bow to our god, you must be punished, you've introduced freewill to heaven and angered your creator."
"We deserve the right to choose."
"Ahh I believe old Lucy said a similar thing. By the way you still haven't told him the truth?"
I feel myself tense, what was I hiding?
"Cassiel where is she? Is she here, are you her?" the voice teased.
"Of course I am." I snap back.
"I don't believe you..." The voice seemed to tickle my ear, his hot breath on my neck made me shudder.
"You should of just accepted me as your mate and it wouldn't of come to this." he sighed dramatically.
I felt the knife pierce my shoulder blade, the hiss of my pain through clenched teeth was the only satisfaction, he'd received, whilst the butcher carved away.
"ergh.." My eyes snapped open, another dream...I knew who had been in the shadows, I knew how'd carved my flesh with enjoyment.
It was Monday, a school day, sunday had been a haze, I'd slept and played xbox and avoided my phone.
Now I had to go to school, it was going to be a long day, I had a quick shower, dressing in my uniform, I reluctantly turned my phone on.
11 new msgs.
4 from Jasper, 5 from Serena, 2 from Luce and 1 from unknown.
Jasper; Hey you sure you don't want a lift? Hey call me back, Everything ok? Miss you.
Serena; Hey call Jasper he's worried, Ok call me I'm worried, Are you ok? Cassie call me.
Luce; Hope you're feeling ok, Take it easy x
Unknown; Its Gabe aka Mr East, Luce gave me the number, See you Monday, take it easy.
I grabbed my bag, I ate toast and drank a glass of orange juice, dad had gone to work and mum tried for small talke, but I'd waved it off, after giving her a kiss, I headed out the front door, choosing to walk to school.
The weather was getting cooler everyday, the end of autumn was nearing and winter seemed to knock early this year, I pulled my school jacket closer, lowing my head I watched my feet as I walked.
It only been a few weeks since school started and yet, It had been the longest year of my life.
The day had finished with me managing to avoid both Serena and Jasper all day, Luce had sat beside me in Maths but had left me to my thoughts, after offering me a lift with Mr East, I'd declined, catching the bus.
I wanted to believe my dreams were just that dreams, but my mind would flash to the stranger in the bar, Morax, I'd call his name when I'd been falling I was sure, his and Luce's.
Sitting on the bus, I felt my phone vibrate again, I pulled it out Japser's number flashed, I sighed calling the number.
"Hey Cas! I finally got hold of you! are you still at school?" His voice sounded relieved, I didn't buy it.
"No I'm on the bus on the way home, I was actually ringing to say I think we should take a break." My voice cracked, but I waited.
"A break? from us? why? Is it that new kid? I'll kill him." He said venomously.
"No its not him, I'm just going through some stuff, I just need some space, I've told him the same and I plan to tell Serena, I just need space. I'll talk to you soon, bye Jasper." I hung up before he could answer letting the tears slid freely, I sobbed and gasped, was I losing it? Probably.
But I needed time to think.
- Writer
