Conflicted

Sweet Dreams

After texting Peyton all morning, I'm practically floating on a cloud. From the moment I met her, I haven't stopped thinking about her. Even in my sleep, thoughts of her filter through my brain and make her my very first thought when I awaken. Now that I know there are no food allergies, I decide to pick up an apple pie and some butterscotch ice cream as my contribution for tonight's dinner. I feel nervous, I want to get something special for Peyton, but I don't know how she'll take it. This isn't exactly a date, after all, just a friendly dinner. Would flowers be too much? I contemplate the flower idea for far longer than any normal person would. I finally decide to get a big bouquet for both Peyton and Hanna, that way it seems more like a friendly gesture to the whole household and less like a personal gift to Peyton. It's not that I don't want to flirt with her, spoil her, impress her... it's more than I don't feel like I should. With everything she's going through, and her relationship with Preston... The whole topic of love and romance is a no-go, currently.

I decide I'm going to dress up a little, nothing too crazy. I were my black fitted dress pants that end just above my calves, some black leather flats. A navy blue blouse and finish the outfit off with my favourite black blazer and a black leather belt. A quick French tuck on the front of my blouse and I check myself out in the mirror. Good, but my gold spacers don't work as well for the outfit. I switch the plugs out for my black ones with the medallion style plug face and I'm content with the result. You can see my forearm tattoos poking out from the three-quarter length sleeves of my blazer... I realize then that neither Peyton or her mom have seen my tattoos yet. Yesterday I'd been wearing my shop overalls which have full length sleeves buttoned up to my neck. Normally I wouldn't even hesitate to proudly show off my tattoos and anyone who disapproved be damned, but for the first time in a long time I worry about giving off a bad impression... I quickly shake my head trying to rid my brain of these kind of thoughts. Hanna and Peyton are nice people, far nicer than most. They wouldn't judge me based off something as commonplace as full sleeve pieces. Nowadays, a lot of people have at least one tattoo somewhere on their body. Plus, anyone who cares that much about what I choose to display on my own skin wouldn't be worth my time. I know the Byrnes aren't like that, even if I haven't known them for long.

Once I'm ready, I grab my bag and out of the apartment. Most of my belongings were already packed up, meaning my efforts to look good for tonight have resulted in boxes being reopened and a giant mess now covers my entire floor. I decide to worry about the mess and the packing tomorrow as I close my bedroom door and head out to pick up a pie and a nice bouquet.

I'm unlocking my truck doors when Laken pulls up next to me in her parking spot.

"Hey, you heading out?" She asks as she exits her Nissan.

"I have dinner plans with a friend. You and I have a lot to catch up on. Is your shift done?" I ask.

"Yeah, for now. I'm still on call but I need a shower, some food and some sleep. We can catch up tomorrow?" Laken proposes.

"Sure, sounds good. Get some rest!" I holler before jumping into my truck. Laken waves goodbye and drags herself towards the door the leads to the elevators. She looks exhausted. Laken is in med school and she is easily the smartest person I know. We met through Sarah not long after I got out of prison. We've been good friends ever since.

I decide to make favourite bakery my first stop to see if they have any fresh pies made. When I get to Sweet Dreams, am not disappointed. Every possible kind of baked good you can imagine is fresh and on display. Lucille greets me as soon as I enter.

"Kate, my darling. Where have you been? It feels like ages since you last came in for your sugar fix!" The tiny elderly woman comes barreling from behind the counter and wraps me in a firm and loving hug.

"It's been too long, I agree. Been busy with school and the women's defense classes I teach downtown. I am long overdue for a pastry-induced coma," I lick my lips to prove my point.

Lucille's hearty laugh can be heard from the next block, I am sure of it. Her laughter is contagious.

"Come with me to the back, I'll see about satisfying those cravings of yours."

Lucille and I enter the kitchen and she feeds me a few pieces of various desserts she made fresh less than an hour ago, everything is warm and melts in my mouth. I'm in heaven, but I need to save room for dinner tonight.

"Now you know how badly I would love to spend hours in here with you and taste everything you offer me, but I actually was hoping you had some pies this evening. I have a dinner with a friend tonight and I want to contribute... and make a good impression," I smile at Lucille.

Her chest puffs with pride and her chin juts outward. "Whoever this friend is will be more than impressed by my pies, my pies can and will make any woman swoon with delight. Sugar, chocolate, pumpkin or fruit pie?" Lucille asks, on a mission now.

"I was thinking a good old basic apple pie..." I respond sheepishly.

"Hmm, I think not. Sugar pie, whip cream to top it off, cinnamon sugar to sprinkle as a finishing touch..." Lucille mumbles to herself and she prepares everything. "Oh, and a dozen of these mini chocolate stuffed croissants!"

I laugh, Lucille always knows how to take care of me.

"Thank you, so much. How much is this gonna run me?" I start pulling out my wallet from my bag.

"That depends, is this really just a dinner with a friend or is this...more?" Lucille casts a knowing glance my way.

"That's the question, but the answer? I don't have one," I shrug. This seems too complicated for even my own brain to make sense of, I wouldn't even know how to explain this correctly to Lucille if I tried.

"Is she important to you?" A raised eyebrow.

"Yes, very." A genuine statement.

"Then it's on the house. Go make a lasting impression, make sure you feed her at least one of those croissants and I can promise you, they will help you with your friend. " Lucille winks at me and shoos me out the door before I can protest, on my way out, I leave a 20$ near the cash register. Consider it a tip, I think.

At the florist on Third Avenue, I pick up a beautiful orchid and write both Hanna and Peyton's names on the card. Something about the purple hue and the attractiveness of the plant reminded me of the two women who have suddenly become such a huge part of my life. I'm careful to place everything on the passenger seat and make my way to Peyton's house. My nerves dance around inside my stomach.

I put all my faith in Lucille's baking, she's never let me down before.