Conflicted

Special Delivery

It's hard to cry in a shower this gorgeous. Yet, here I am. I'm no longer sobbing, no, I'm too exhausted to sob. I stand under the enormous shower head as it cascades water all around me, enveloping me entirely... and I cry. Calmly, quietly, effortlessly. The tears flow from my eyes and down my cheeks in unison with the beading water off my body. I picture this shower cleansing my skin of Preston's touch. I take out my shower sponge and body wash from the toiletries I brought with me and methodically wash every inch of myself. I imagine it's erasing every trace of him, every point of contact. It feels good. It's healing. I'm in the shower for a very long time, and I know I need to get out and face reality. The world will not wait for me. With a sigh, I stare at the control pad on the wall. I see the "Stop" button and press it, immediately shutting the water off. Warm air starts blowing from above my head and all around me as I reach for the towel Kate set aside. This place is incredible. How is a student studying mechanics able to afford a place like this? I wonder. Even Preston's parents' house isn't this nice. Cringe. Is this how it's going to be now? Even the thought of him will be enough to set me off? How will I ever face him again? I shake my head, physically trying to remove the thought. Once I'm dry and dressed, I brush my teeth and place all my belongings back inside my bag. I take my phone back out of my purse. First things first, I need to call Sandra before she calls my mom. I take a deep breath to steady myself, and punch in the number. She picks up on the second ring.

"Jesus Christ, Peyton, are you okay? What's going on?"

"I'm so sorry, Sandy. I didn't sleep at home last night and forgot to set an alarm. I've never done that before, I'm really sorry," I blabber. It's not a complete lie, nor a complete truth.

"You scared me, Peyton! This isn't like you, I was worried something bad had happened. I was about to start calling your mother and Preston!"

Panic seizes my chest.

"But you didn't, right?" Is all I can think to ask.

"Not yet, thankfully." I sigh with relief. "You called me just in time. You never pull s**t like this, are you sure you're okay?" Sandra seems to doubt my story.

"Yes, except for the guilt and embarrassment, I'm okay right now," again... not entirely a lie.

"Alright, well Talia is already here now... I'm sorry, Peyton, but I needed someone to cover you. There were clients at the doors waiting to come in and I got here as fast as I could. We'll talk about this on Monday, okay?"

"Yes, of course. I apologize, Sandy. This won't happen again," I state before hanging up.

One down. One to go.

I type in a text to my mom telling her that I'd called in sick to work and that both me and the car would be home waiting for her when she got there.

Mama Bear

Sure, sweetie. Get some rest. I won't be home until late tonight, we have to finish this project before the corporate meeting next week. Make some soup! Xo

With that handled, I start making my way back up to the living room. I'm almost there when the smell of pizza hits my nose. My go-to comfort food. I'm salivating as I enter the room and see Kate closing the French doors behind her, a flat cardboard box in her hand.

"I have no furniture, but I also have nothing to eat," she laughs. "I got some pizza for us, I wasn't sure what you liked so I ordered pep and cheese."

The sound of my stomach growling is my response, and we both laugh. "Pizza sounds amazing right now, I just realized I'm starving."

"I'd pull out a chair for you, but..."

I don't answer, I just drop myself onto the floor casually. Kate grins and does the same across from me.

I help myself to a slice. "Thank you, again. For the food, the help... everything."

"My pleasure, honestly," says Kate.

"Now, I definitely owe you an explanation, at the very least..."

I swallow my food, and take a deep breath. I tell her everything.