Conflicted

Precinct *Content Warning, Sensitive Subject Matter*

We're parked outside the police station. I try not to let guilt overwhelm me. I know it isn't fair of me to be putting Kate through all this and depending on her so heavily with something this serious. I can't deny that I too feel drawn to her, in which way exactly, I haven't really tried to figure out yet. She found me when I needed a friend the most and I'm only now seeing it myself. For years, my only friend had been Preston, which seems so stupid in my current state of mind. I don't want to ask anymore of Kate, but I know what I have to do. I need to file a police report. I need to admit out loud to strangers exactly what happened. They're police officers, this is their job, this is why they are here. Yet I am scared. I don't want to admit I was weak and taken advantage of by someone I loved. What if they don't believe me? What if they dismiss what I have to say because Preston and I were dating? I can't do this alone. I know that, but I don't feel comfortable asking Kate to help me any more than she already has.

"Peyton, did you want me to come with you?" Her voice is full of worry. Looks like I don't have to ask, it's as if she can read my mind.

Shakily, I nod my head. "It would mean a lot to me if you did."

Immediately, she exits the truck and walks around to my side. We repeat the same process as the last time, she holds her arms out and I land from the truck onto my feet with her supporting me by the waist. I get all tingly any time she touches me. I push the thought aside, I can over-analyze this later, like I always do. Right now, I have to focus on what is about to happen.

Together, we walk up the concrete path towards the glass doors of the police station. I hear an engine rev behind us on the road, and the sudden sound of tires screeching on concrete. A vehicle comes to a stop directly behind Kate's truck. I recognize the BMW immediately and start to panic. Kate sees it too and the passenger door flies open to reveal an extremely pissed off Preston. He has a look in his eye and in that moment, the Preston I spent four years of my life with is unrecognizable. His lip curls into a snarl as he slams the car door behind him and starts walking briskly towards us, directly in front of the police building. Kate pulls me behind her protectively, blocking me from his line of sight.

"You. You're the f*****g cunt from this morning, the queer. What the f**k are you doing with my girlfriend? How do you even know each other?" He stands directly in front of us now, not even two feet from me. Kate has me blocked off entirely and I stay put behind her. I feel like I am about to pass out or throw up. Maybe both. Kate doesn't answer his question.

"Buddy, I thought I was pretty clear this morning. You need to back the f**k up," she threatens. Preston just laughs maniacally. I'm trembling all over and eyeing the doors to the precinct. Do I make a run for it?

"You're kinky, b***h. I give you that. I think it's hot that you think you're so tough, but that's my girlfriend you're trying to hide from me. You're a chick, you can't fight me, you wouldn't stand a chance," he's always been good at condescending others.

"This one can and f*****g will if you even think of laying a finger on her right now. Do you not realize where you're standing, pal? You must know what we're doing here or else you wouldn't of thought to look for her at a police station. You aren't going to get away with any of this. You're gonna f*****g pay for what you did to her. She never deserved that and especially not from you," Kate spat.

She is pissed and I am terrified. I'm about to bolt for the doors when Preston lunges towards us. He doesn't move fast enough and Kate counters. His arm is caught by her left fist and faster than my brain can process what's happening, she's twisted his arm behind his back and her knee is pinning him to the ground. Preston is yelling in agony and I'm crying again, unable to move, unable to run. I'm unable to do anything but stand there helplessly and sob. I hear shouts coming from the doors and notice two men in uniforms running out from the building, heading towards us. Dylan sees them too and he quickly reverses from the curb and speeds away from the police building leaving Preston to fend for himself. As soon as the cops come out, Kate releases her hold on Preston's arm removing her knee from his back and stands up. She holds both hands in the air compliantly, letting the officers take over. One of them handcuffs Preston's wrists, pinning them behind his back while he is babbling incoherently from the ground. The other officer stands to my left and starts guiding Kate and I inside. A blanket is placed around my shoulders as we walk into the precinct. I'm barely conscious of what is happening around me. I'm lead into a room by myself. There is cheap grey carpet lining the floor, a scratchy and uncomfortable looking couch to my left, to my right a table with three chairs, two facing the door and one across from them. Next to the couch there is an end table with tissue paper, and in the far corner of the room is a water dispenser with little paper cups next to it. "Have a seat, someone is going to be in here soon to speak with you. What's your name?" The officer asks from the door.

"Peyton Byrnes," I answer flatly.

"You'll be alright in here, Peyton. An officer will be in shortly," he repeats.

I don't bother responding this time and the door shuts behind me. I sit down on the uncomfortable couch. I'm numb, completely stunned. I can't think, I can't speak, I can't even cry. I am alone and I don't know where Kate is. I imagine she and Preston are nearby in rooms similar to the one I am in, awaiting questioning. The door opens again and a female officer walks in. She's holding two cups, one in each hand. I smell the coffee before I see it. She sits down next to me, trying to be casual. "Coffee?" she offers, holding the cup out towards me. I stick my hand out from under the blanket that someone draped over my shoulders. "Thank you," I say as I accept the drink. I take a small sip. It tastes awful but I hardly notice.

"Peyton, I'm Constable Lindsey Ferguson. I'm here to ask you some questions and provide you with a sense of safety, if your mind will permit that. Are you able to tell me what's going on?" Her voice is friendly, but beneath that I can tell she's the stern, take-no-s**t type of woman. I trust that.

"The boy in handcuffs, Preston, he's my boyfriend. Or was, I don't even know anymore. The girl who was defending me is my friend, Kate," my voice is quivering and the numbness is starting to turn to panic. I'm not sure how much more I can take today.

"Talk to me about why Kate was defending you, and what made you come to the police station." Officer Lindsey prompts.

"Kate found me this morning as I was leaving Preston's apartment building. We've been fighting a lot lately. Last night he asked me to come over, I thought we'd talk and work things out. Instead, we argued. He'd been out drinking before I got there and I could tell he was pretty drunk. He wanted to..." I pause. I was having a hard time forming the words.

"If you need some time to collect yourself, that's okay, Peyton. You don't have to do this right now," Constable Ferguson says softly, reassuringly.

I shake my head. I need to do this, I need to get this over with and put this all behind me as soon as possible. "I'm okay. I went over, we argued, and he tried to get me to sleep with him. I said I didn't want to, and he got mad. He said I was a bad girlfriend, that I didn't act the way a proper girlfriend should, that I never want to have s*x anymore. He said it was my job to sleep with him. I started to cry and he was forcing my back to the wall. He told me to act like I wanted s*x, that I should fake it and make him believe I wanted it," I'm crying softly now as I relive the events of last night. "When he saw me crying, he lost it. He hit me and pushed me onto his bed. I tried to fight him off me, I kept asking him to stop over and over, it only made him more mad. He slapped me, splitting my lip, but I kept trying to get out from under him. Then, he punched me really hard here," I point to my swollen face, "and I started to pass out as he was..." I stopped. I couldn't bring myself to say the word.

Officer Ferguson is sympathetic. "I can make a report about this, Peyton, but I can't put in any words you didn't physically utter yourself. What happened after he punched you, before you lost consciousness?" Her eyes revealed that she knew exactly what I was trying to say, but I understood that she needed me to verbalize it, she needed to hear the words from me directly.

"He r***d me."