His

Julia

Sitting in front of my mirror brushing my auburn waist length hair while staring into my emerald green eyes, I think why me. I replay the conversation that was had over dinner between my father and his long time friend Anton. "We will be in-laws soon Anton. Julia turns 25 next month on the 13th of June. A month later she and Armano shall be wed." My head snapped up instantly. "Wait father what do you mean married?" My father continued on as if I never spoke a word. "The budget for the wedding will be split equally between us. Have you told Armano of his upcoming nuptials?"

I started to drown out the conversation. Married to Armano...I've only met him once and I dont remember it as I was only a baby. The most I know about him is he's three years older than me and that he is just as mean and scary as his father. Anton has never been mean or disrespectful to me or anyone in my family but the things I've heard that he does to his enemies. I shudder at the thought. That is one man I never want to cross. He has very old school views on the world when it comes to women. In his eyes a woman is to take care of the home bare children and obey her husband. I felt sorry for his wife who passed due to cancer a few years ago. She was always quiet and very timid. He treated her like a queen but you could see it in her eyes that she was never fully happy like something was missing.

Maybe it was the sickness maybe she was forced into a marriage at young age too, I don't know but what I do know it wasn't going to happen to me. I try to tune back into the conversation Anton was talking I caught the end of his sentence "they will live in Boston." Boston I say to no one in particular." I finally find my voice standing up so fast I knocked my chair over. "Papa you can't be serious. What is this agreement? I don't want to marry Armano. I don't even know him. Why can't I find my own husband? And who said I wanted to get married? I'am almost finished with college. I was hoping to start my career establish a life for myself then look to get married. Not be forced down the aisle to marry a stranger." I hear my mother say my name but I can't believe my father would do this to me. Speaking of it as if it's been discussed with me and agreed upon. "Julia sweetie let's discuss this after dinner ok. No mother we will discuss it now this is my life we are talking about not what's being cooked for dinner tomorrow." You will sit down and speak when spoken to young lady!" Slowly I sat down my mouth slightly agape. My father never spoke to me in that tone. "Your disrespect will not be tolerated in this house as your mother said we will talk about it after dinner besides it's not going to change the fact that you are to marry Armano in six weeks." All I could do was stare at my father. My mouth opened and closed as if I wanted to say something but I knew better then to say anything. "May I be excused I seem to have lost my appetite." I finally managed to get out. With a flap of my father's hand I was excused. As I walked away a single tear dropped from my eye. I quickly wiped it away. Crying would not fix this.

I finished my night routine turned off my light and fell into a restless sleep. Dreams of being dragged down the aisle to a greasy balding and pudgy man haunted me. The next morning I woke with a start after tossing and turning all night I decided to tell my dad that I would not marry Armano. This agreement was not of my doing so why should I have to abide by it. Growing up I always did as I was told. Never questioning my parents or their rules but this I can not I will not do. Dressing in my favorite skinny jeans low cut white converses and oversized white sweater. While I put my hair in a messy bun I decide what makeup to wear today. Choosing to go light and natural. Dana knocks on my door "time for breakfast dear I made your favorite blueberry pancakes and sausages." Dana has worked for the family since before I was born. She's like a second mother to me so when I didn't give her the bright smile I usually give her when she makes my favorite breakfast she instantly knew something was wrong. "What is wrong my little star? why so down this morning? Dana moves around my room picking up discarded clothes opening the curtains. It is such a beautiful day outside." She turned and looked at my face. "Oh little star what is it talk to Dana." Taking a deep breath I go over everything that happened at dinner the night before. Dana doesn't speak right away and when she finally does it's the last thing I wanted to hear. "Your father would never do anything to hurt you. If he has agreed to this marriage this Armano must be a good guy." I was shocked. The one person I knew for sure would have my back was taking my father's side. Dana always told me to stand up for myself, to be independent and speak my mind no matter what. "Out of everyone I just knew you were going to take my side. I close my eyes to hide my tears and slightly shake my head in disappointment . "You taught me to stand up for myself to never let others walk all over me. So why would I start now?" Dana walked up to me cradled my face in her hands. "Some battles you can't win and I'm afraid little star this is one of them. Come down for breakfast maybe some food will help you feel better." She turned and left the room. Julia just stood there stunned. She was truly on her own. Taking one last look in the mirror then grabbing her gym bag she headed downstairs. Gloria her mother was sitting at the table reading the newspaper. "Where's papa? He had an early meeting and won't be back until later this evening. Oh." Julia said she sat down at the table and Dana put a plate with two blueberry pancakes and two sausages and a glass of orange juice in front of her. "Thank you Dana, it looks great." Julia ate as her mother kept reading the paper. So lost in her thoughts she almost missed her mother's question. "So what do you have planned for the day Jules? Hmmm oh I have my kickboxing class this morning then later me and Emily are going to the beach. That sounds nice you girls enjoy." With that Gloria got up from the table and left. Julia was use to this. Most of her life her mother showed her the minimum amount of attention. Her favorite child has always been Drake, Julia's older brother. He's away at college finishing his master's in business. When he comes home he will be working under their father to take his place when the time came. He's their golden child. Julia accepted her fate since she was five years old. Thinking back to that day Julia was playing with her dolls in the living room. Drake my mother and father walked in from Drake's soccer game laughing and smiling. They had stopped and gotten ice cream. I jumped up excited to see everyone but no seemed to notice I was there. I waved and said hi papa how was the game. No one stopped to say hello, they just kept walking and talking about Drake's game and how amazing he was. It was like I was invisible. My hand slowly fell back down to my side. I turned and went back to my dolls. That day made me realize how unimportant I was to my parents. Julia's phone ringing brought her out of the memory. " Hello. Hey Jules we still on for the beach later? " It was Emily my best friend since kindergarten. "Yes Em and you know I hate being called Jules. I know I'm sorry, hey are you okay Julia you sound down. Yea... I'm fine. Are you sure, you know you can talk to me about anything. I'm sure I gotta go I'm running late for class. Alright talk to you later. Talk to you later."