Master Gallagher

Called it a cycle

Noted.

Every single time, I attempted to visit the Gallagher home in Marlborough as per request of William. Well, not 'everytime' it had only been on two occasions but it still counted as an estimate in my terms. Lady Tracy always seemed to have a male visitor. The first did not really strike any curiosity within me because he cared about was making me his property but this one... certainly did strike some level of curiosity. Having spoken to Lady Tracy the day before when she made known that Liam had went on to visit his grandparents for the day but I was welcome to visit the next day.

Today.

Sometimes, I noticed how other white women spoke to their maids. It was awful. Somehow, I noted that Lady Tracy was somewhat nice to me. Yes, she degraded and embarrassed me every chance she got but overall... she was better than the most. Seeing her pregnant was definitely hard for me... to still fathom. I couldn't hide the expression my face made when she spoke of her child. She was woefully too excited for someone who was already at her second child but... I suppose there is a need to bare excitement if a man like William impregnated you. I constantly told myself to refrain from putting William on a high pedestal, I just couldn't. For so long, I had feared him. For so long, I had been taught that he was or rather they were better than us. For so long, I felt insignificant. One of the reason's why I found myself falling in love with William was because for the first time... someone valued my worth as a human being. Not as a maid, a slave or property. He valued my presence like any other breathing human being. My weakness was not putting William on a high pedestal because my love for him leveled up with the courtesy I once had for him as my master. Him being superior to me. I still found it hard to think of us as an item, if that was to ever happen. I constantly needed a reality check, my mother was definitely that for me. She couldn't wait to remove the smile off my face whenever I thought of William. She couldn't wait to remind me of the things he had done in the past such as... beating me to a pulp for the purpose of pleasing his fellow mates. I did not like to think of it. I certainly would never be able to convince my mother that William was different. Was he? Maybe I was delusional. Delusional because my mother filled ill hateful thoughts within me before I slept and the morning I'd go work at the mansion, Hector would cancel every single thing my mother had said and give me a little light of hope.

I had only arrived a few minutes ago. When Lady Tracy immediately told me to cook breakfast and feed Liam. I wanted to remind her that, I did not work here anymore and Liam was grown but I refrained knowing I needed to be in her good grace.

"I missed you so much, Nase and your pancakes." Liam said with a wide smile, I noticed his front missing teeth were slowly growing and I found it cute. I really wanted to pay attention to Liam but not after the altercation, I had noticed going on being Lady Tracy and her male visitor. She had slammed the door shut and order me to make breakfast. She had not bothered to introduce the man or at-least, I don't know what I was expecting it seemed all too fishy. The man looked... like he was part of the lower class/proletariat. His clothing, rendered him, underprivileged. Raggedy and ghastly washes out. Certainly I'm one to judge because I'm not a slave right?

"When is the baby coming?" Liam asked me as I mixed the flour for the pancakes. Deep in my thoughts that I had not heard a single thing he muttered beforehand.

"Uh... I-don't-know..." I said quickly.

"Mommy is also having a baby."

"Oh... that's nice. Are you excited?"

"Sometimes... mommy said the baby won't look like me because I have different eyes."

"Do you want the baby to look like you?" I asked.

"Yes!" Liam said excitedly putting his pinkie in the bowel of pancake mix. I did not bother scolding him. I wanted to know what that man was here for.

"Liam, does that man visit often?"

Liam nodded vigorously.

"Is he nice?"

"Yes, he plays ball with me and we buys me sweets."

"That's nice!"

"But mom doesn't like him. She always yells when I speak to him."

"Oh..."

"Nase?" Liam asked now looking at me attentively. For some reason my heart hammered when he looked serious for a moment. Liam was unpredictable. I just never knew what to expect.

"You didn't invite me to your wedding?" He frowned.

I let out a nervous chuckled, a bit relieved. "Oh that... it was a tad bit boring for a fun boy like you."

"Will you come back?" He asked a pout visible on his lips.

"I will visit often, you can also visit me at the ranch."

"No, I don't like it much there."

"Why not? But that's where I stay?"

"It's horrid and nasty except grandma's house. Your house isn't very nice... I always thought it was the pig house, until grandpa said you stay there." Liam said incoherently. I could tell he was trying not to offend me. "I don't like visiting grandpa, he treats people very badly."

"Yup, your grandpa isn't very nice Liam."

"But my other grandpa is nice. I like visiting him a lot with Mary."

"That's nice."

"Do you have a grandpa?" He asked.

Our conversation went on that way until I had finished with the pancakes and cleared up the table. I left Liam eating as I pretended to heard up to the bathroom. It had been awfully too long since Lady Tracy and the stranger had been conversing in hush-hush. Just like the day, I had eavesdropped in William and Lady Tracy's conversation. I couldn't help but do it yet again. My heart walloped repeatedly know the chance of one of them abruptly opening the door was high. There wouldn't be any clear sign and I wouldn't have a proper excuse well except the bathroom but—

I wasn't allowed to use this bathroom.

But I'm visitor, I certain can't head down to the basement. I mean, knowing Lady Tracy, she would yell at me bawl at me either way. Seeing as she wasn't already in a good mood. I refrained from having nasty thoughts but concurrently I wanted her to cheat on William so I wouldn't feel bad for my own infidelity.

"Carby, why do you constantly—" I failed to hear the last part. It was all whispered yelling, I suppose there was nothing going on. I felt bad. Just because I was commuting fornication with her husband... it didn't mean that she would too. I constantly needed to remind myself that not everyone was committing the irksome doings that William and I were. It made me question my conscience as a upright human being who is supposed to have morals and—

I felt ashamed.

"This is my only chance to bare William a child and you're harassing me, Carby!"

"Only because it might be mine just as much as it might be for William. Tracy, you killed our first child and I solemnly forgave you but this is taking it too far."

I lost the ability to speak or think in this moment. I couldn't fathom any of this. Was I hearing correctly or maybe I was now ghastly making up scenarios in my head.

"Taking it too far? It is already far enough Carby. Stay away from me please. If William finds out about Liam, he will be furious. My father will be disappointed and my in laws—" it was quiet. "Goodness, Carby. I will be shunned. I can't be with you. I could never be with you. You can't even provide for yourself, how will you provide for me? Or a child?"

I continued listening. Scared for my life that I might get caught. I still risked it all.

"Liam isn't my son." I heard the man respond gruffly.

"I'm aware.." Lady Tracy responded.

"So you really went on did it with his brother?"

"I had no choice." I heard Lady Tracy muffle a cry. I couldn't react audibly but all I knew was, William needed to know. I felt bad for William knowing how much he adored Liam. For goodness sake this was someone named after him only for him to turn out to be his brother's child? It made me question which brother was in question. I had never seen Lady Tracy remotely converse in friendly terms with William's brothers. A thought suddenly came to mind... it was just like my dream, the man who had olive green eyes who kept calling Liam to come where he was standing. I listened in a little while longer. Lady Tracy still had not mentioned which brother but one thing I had made character of was... she had a long history with this man, whom she had continuously called Carby.

When the conversation had died out. I made my way downstairs. Liam had cleaned up his plate. He innocently smiled at me and my only thought was... William and Liam did not deserve any of this. Maybe William did because of what we were doing on our own but simultaneously... Liam was innocent and did not at deserve this.

That day I never saw Lady Tracy the same again. I still did not know if she was carrying William's child which was still a possibility. When her visitor had left, she asked of me to stay with Liam till in the evening. Claiming she had an urgent fitting and measurements she had to do. This gave me enough time to sneak in the study and get enough money as William had instructed. I was still in shock. I tried everything possible to occupy my thoughts. I tidied up the house but still it was all I thought about. Even worse when Liam maneuvered around being the little trouble maker he always was.

I had no right to judge Lady Tracy. She seemed to genuinely care about Carby. I suppose all this was as a result of putting labels amongst society and restricting people from being with whom they would relatively be with if it wasn't for titles, riches, race and league that set us apart—

Set us apart for a life of unhappiness for the sake of dignity.

—

Hey, I'm trying to finish Troubled that's why updates are slow on here.

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