How cliché, she would have said. Couldn’t the universe do better?
But Mom wasn’t saying anything anymore.
The caskets went down one at a time. Dad first, then Mom. I watched the ropes lower them into the earth and felt nothing. Or rather, I felt everything. So much that it all canceled out.
Gideon stood beside me, not speaking or moving. He hadn’t said a word to me since the hospital. Not one word. Not when we identified the bodies or when we picked out the caskets. Not when relatives I didn’t even recognize descended on our house with casseroles and condolences.
He blamed me. He was right to.
After the last mourner finally left the wake, I stood in front of the mirror, still wearing the black mourning dress. As I did, I made myself a promise.
No boys. No s*x. No love.
Love destroys
