His Memories of Her

39th

“I am glad to be understood by you. And now I could also finally say that I do not want anything else, I just want her to be treated preciously just like how she should be. And I know there is nobody else but you who will do that more than I have ever could. If I could turn back time, I would have changed the way I did it in the past, I would have made you be apart from each other. Could not help thinking that if I would have just let you guys be together, maybe no one is suffering and her might have remembered everything and made everything easy for everyone specially for you.” Richard said which I could not argue anymore and felt like blaming him but I know I should not because he just did what he thinks was the for his sister’s best interest.

“I do not know how things will go, but when I found out that it was her and want me to tell her things about her missing memories which is just a lot of things to me, I could not even be more, happier. And right now, I do not have anything else in mind but the memories that I will be looking back with her. The time we would spend together while we are it. Dr. Bailey told me this morning, that instead of dwelling with what happened in the past, I should just make something out of this opportunity I was given to. So, I will not think of the past anymore instead just will do everything in my capabilities do make things better from now on.” I said with a smile on my face as I look ahead, towards the countless trees which seems to be appealing tonight more than those times I have seen them at night.

“Then I guess, I do not have to do anything anymore but to just let you handle everything. I am two hundred percent confident that you will do better than I have been doing.” Richard said chuckling to his own comment.

“I know… I know right? So, you should have just gone to bed. She will be fine so you could go rest for tonight or nap since I am not sure where you are right now.” I said but almost cut off myself when I turned my head, seeing Catherine standing and looking towards me.

“Am I that of a disturbance to you?” Richard said chuckling.

“I guess you could say you are so I need to hang up since she will be getting down any moment. I will just tell her that you called when you could not reach her dead phone.” I said chuckling with him while joking around and looking towards the shock Catherine by my mentioning of her phone dead.

“No, do not have to tell her. I am sure she is enjoying her time with you, so just enjoy it together since it is so rare for you two to have a free time, so you should spend it wisely and worthful.” He said before hanging up the call.

“Why you did not call out to me?” I said looking to the still surprised Catherine who is looking so much like my mother when she wore the same sleeping dress.

“Sorry.” She said so low, but low enough for me to hear it.

“Sorry for what?” I said looking at her with my happiness that I am not even sure as to where it came from or even the reason.

“Sorry for unintentional eavesdropping and the fact that my brother called you just because I forgot to call him or even charge my phone that made him unable to contact me.” She said and I could feel that she feels somewhat embarrassed of it.

“It is not something you should be sorry for…” I said but cut off myself as I noticed something and look at her who is looking away with red cheeks which I hope it is not because of what I am thinking right now.

“Eavesdropping means you have heard everything?” I said trying to make sure of my suspicion.

She looks at me for a moment then she said “From ‘If that is your thoughts, I could not argue anymore. It is true, she is having a great time of her life and stopping that would be something you would feel guilty and will surely regret one day.’ And look away again.

“What?” I exclaimed.

She slowly walks towards me, look me straight into the eyes for a good amount of time before she opened her mouth and said “I want to know everything, slowly just like what you said, as we spend time together.”

“I will tell you everything, accordingly to how they happened.” I said somehow lost on how she says things, I interrupted something. I could feel it that she still has some more to say that I could not say anything anymore but to just look at her back and wait for what she has to say.

“But right now, there is something I want to know the most and I could not stop wishing and hope that you will tell me with nothing but truth.” She said wearing a pleading look.

I look at her and feel nothing but pain seeing how she is pleading so much just by looking at me, pleading about something she should have had ten years ago. I could not bare the look of her eyes so I breathe deeply before I said “Why do you not sit here with me.” I said pointing the single couch in front of the one behind me.

She followed my arm to my finger then take steps towards it, she sits on it like a respectable lady which is pretty contrary on how she used to sit just like a man would in the past, I could not help but to chuckle a little bit.

“Why are you chuckling?” she said wondering.

“Sorry, it is just that, I could not help but to remember how you used to sits like a man would or even worse and did not expected that I would be seeing you sitting like how a lady should be.” I said in between my chuckle.

“Oh, so you are saying that I was not a lady in the past but a tomboy?” she said sarcastically while nodding her head several times.

“Yeah, well aside from you love playing basketball and being so good at it, there is nothing more if you add the eating habit and amount.” I said looking at her face as her expression changes expressions.

“Why do I feel like I should just let those moments vanish from my memory since I feel like I would not have face to make when I meet my future in laws as I am pretty sure they would be still old fashioned and would prefer a lady with that kind of manner and etiquette.” She said that I could not help but to stop from chuckling and simply smile.

“But everything, everything about you is something I have found amusing, amusing enough to make me feel like I needed to be with you every day or else my day would not start or would not end good. You have been so special to me right after I met you.” Are the words that came out from my mouth as I look at her, I just look at her with a sad smile on my face.

Her face’s expression changes again, it turned from being in panic into daze as she looks at me and listening to me attentively and after a moment, she opened her mouth and said “Just what kind of relationship do we used to have in the past?”

Looking straight into her eyes, the urge of telling her the answer to her question is just so strong that I do not feel any sign of not telling her and so I said “When I met you that morning, it did not take me longer than a minute to be amused to by you, mesmerized by you. It took me only half a minute, that is when I heard you giggle. Now that I think about it, it was the best sound my ears have ever heard, even now that when I heard you giggling in the hospital for the first time, I have come to be interested by you. Just like it was in the past.” I said chuckling.

“I thought I was crazy to be interested just because of someone’s sound of giggling, because it is the second time until I found out that it is you. They are the same person, the girl who made my heart leapt a beat just by hearing the giggles.” I added and sees her daze expression suddenly changing again, turning to a small smile her lips as they curved a little bit.

‘I am the only one she is so interested right now, or should I say the things that are coming from my mouth. It is just like how she once told me, that each person’s heart has a certain beat which she likes listening every time she would get in touch of it.’ Is what I have in mind while looking at her who is leaning closer to me waiting for what else I have to say.

“When you were in second year of high school, I was already in my last year, a graduating. And because of that I have thought of the worst-case scenarios in my mind. I was not sure or informed yet if I was free to choose where and which my university would be and so the thought of not seeing you while my feelings were still hidden from you was certainly unbearable for me. So, I took out my courage the night before my graduation day, I went into your house when I was ready to tell you how I felt, is when I could not find you at home instead it is your brother who was present at that time. We never had a chance to meet officially, but not because I was scared, but because you always made sure we would not. Now that thinking about it, you even made me swore that whenever I will be coming for you, I should make an appointment with you one day before which really made a habit out of me. And that day, it was just an unplanned thing so I ended up meeting your brother instead of you.” I said while flashbacks of the past came flowing to me, so clear like it was only yesterday while looking at the smiling Catherine in front of me.

I change my position, I leaned forward resting both of my elbows on my knees and intertwined my fingers to each other from both hands before continuing saying “And there he confronted me, if I like you and if I came to finally ask you out. I answered him yes without hesitation at that time, even though he is glaring at me, scaring my soul to come out of my body to hide somewhere. I thought he would tell me that I should not, that instead I should go away from you but he did not do what I expected him he would. Instead, he invited me to sit on your dining table, gave me a glass of orange juice and let me took a sip before he said ‘Can you wait another year? You have waited two years already, what does another year would do?’ which I almost retorted and told him ‘Yeah, two years of hell, and now you want me to wait and make a hell year again?’ but I decided to gulp down those words and instead just ask him why. He simply answered me ‘I just could not have her to have something in her mind or in any way that could get in the way of her studying, you know and I know, we both know where she is aiming for as a university student, and I do not doubt her capabilities of getting a full scholarship just like how she wants, it is just that I do not want any other things to weigh her mind. If you confess to her now, I know she would not say no. she would say yes happily but you being a first man in her life, there would be too much new things for her which may affect in some ways.’ Which when I think over that night, what he said was true. Since that night I respected your brother not because of how he protects you but because of the things he does just for your best interest.”

“Do not tell me you did what he said?” she said that almost shock me after looking down reminiscing the face Richard made that night.

I look up to her and smile before I open my mouth and said “I could not imagine of how worst things could go for you. I was also young and you were also the first girl so I was unsure of how we would do things, how would we confront each other in every little single thing that were to happen and the fact that it could affect your future, I had no other choice but to say yes. I went to the nearest great university that nothing really changed between us. I agreed to him and kept, maintained our relationship just like how it was until a few days before your graduation, when you finished your entrance exam and passed all of them, four exams from the best four universities in the city and even out of the country. I talked to him that I will be confessing to you on the night of your graduation which he agreed, smile and gave me a hug for like a congratulatory. So, hearing his agreement, I started the preparations on the following day.” I said as both of my hands gripped tight each other remembering of what happened after that, looking at her my tears started to roll down of my cheeks, but still even how blurry my vision is, I still could clearly how her face looks like right now with me shivering to the thought of what I am about to say.