Our Stars that dance

I HATE IT

My mom used to say that when I was born, I almost died. I looked too pale and barely breathing and she cried while holding me. I was born prematurely at seven months and at the time I was born, my body couldn't respond properly. Every part of the organ wasn't properly functioning due to early birth and since they weren't even fully formed.

Starting from that day till age seven, I wasn't allowed to go out without either of my parents in my sight. There were always doctors and nurses coming to our house to check up on me or I would be staying at the hospital. I got a specific room designed for me.

The alpha and Luna heard about my condition who are also my godparents, therefore, had a whole room renovated for me.

The nurses used to come to insert needles into my arms to the point I wasn't scared of the pain and nonchalant about it. The medicine’s smell didn't bother me anymore.

One day, I was going downstairs to show my mother the drawing and I heard her cry while hopping down the stairs. Standing behind the wall, I peeked to see her crying while Dad held her tightly. The doctor looked sad but I could see excitement sparkle in his eyes.

At that time I knew. I was pale beyond and there were several times when the nurses couldn't pull blood from me and then turned to poke another nerve into another nerve. Again and again, until a little bit of blood came out, It was a relief for everyone and also for me.

“She was born with it. We send her blood samples to many research centers to other packs. Hopefully, they will find some cure.”

Mother looked up from her lap to him.

“Are you saying that what my daughter is suffering is a rare condition which only affects one in a million people? But why my poor daughter?”

Looking away from her sad eyes, I glanced down at the drawing I drew. It was five of us on the beach. We went there last summer for only two days as I couldn't stay away from the medication for long.

It had always been my dream to stay there a bit longer playing in the water and building sand castles or even taking an evening walk along the shore without them constantly pulling me to their side; worrying I might have exhausted my body for the day. Due to that, I would say I had mostly ruined my two brothers' childhood memories as mostly, as their childhood had filled with them always guarding me.

Clutching the drawing, I tiptoe upstairs back to my room. Throwing the drawing into the piles I had made so far.

I hate my body. I was given with most weak one.

Then one day, a miracle happened when a young doctor from the Scarlet Pack found the cure. Dad was on the phone while we were eating at the dining table. He got up quickly and picked me up then hugged me tightly. Everyone was ecstatic and I was really happy to see relief and happiness in their eyes.

The rare disease which hasn't been named yet, didn't bother me much anymore. But my parents wouldn't let me go out as being told by my doctor, so I was homeschooled.

The medication grew less and the nurses and doctors coming over to my house also stopped.

When everyone reached the age of twelve, for the first time they could feel the presence of their counterpart in their mind. By the age of sixteen, the counterpart had fully grown strong enough to take a wolf form, the person can change themselves into a wolf whenever they wanted. Thus, throughout their life, they will live as two minds with one soul.

I wasn't sad when I found out I didn't have a wolf-like my other two brothers. But my parents looked worried as they thought my nonexistent wolf presence would help me to heal better than my current body was doing. I was born completely human like my mother whereas both my brothers got dad’s gene.

The doctor said I was healing slowly which brought relief to them. The best thing that ever came out of his mouth was that it was okay for me to go out and be like a normal kid. He said by the time I was eighteen, I would be completely healed.

Back in my heart, I hate my childhood memories of illness. I always wished that I wouldn't go back to the old days.

Here I am. Into the room sitting and looked out of the window while the nurse inserted an IV into me. The doctor said that my blood count had gone down beyond and that's why I fainted.

“There you go, Miss Groover.” the nurse was lovely and she was nice to ask if I felt discomfort or any pain while inserting a needle. She held out her palm with an iron pill, the one I used to take every day.

Picking the pill, I popped it in my mouth and she passed me a glass of water.

“Here. My patients like to have this after I inject them.” she takes out a milk chocolate from her pocket and presses it into my hand.

My mom used to give me ice cream or any kind of sweets after nurses and doctors were done with procedures to ease my cries and pain.

I miss my mom.

She started to put her things inside the box, I looked at her.

“Thank you miss—” I glanced at her blue name tag with a name written in white. “Theresa.”

Theresa smiled and walked out of the room. Right after she was gone, my father and two brothers walked inside. I groaned and rolled my eyes. They would probably scold me or give me a lecture for a minute or two.

“Don't you roll your eyes at us, Lula?” Luca said in his monotone voice. Luca, my eldest brother, grew up with Dad learning the ropes about his beta duties and he didn't show much expression like other young kids did. He would smile rarely and his speaking tone was in the same range even till now.

“Luca, this is not important.” Dad gave him a side glance and looked at me. “How are you feeling, Aysu?” he walked to my side and sat on the bed. He was about to place his hand on mine but stopped when he saw the IV inserted.

“Umm. I feel a little better than earlier. Sorry for making you guys worry.” Dad sighs and pats on my head.

“Do you want to eat anything? I will buy the ingredients for you and ask Jenny to make them for you,” Luca said while looking at me with his frustrated eyes. Jenny as a lead event organizer, couldn't leave the welcome party and was held back by her duties.

I looked at Luca and smiled softly at him.

“Luca, I feel fine. It's just my blood level drop and this happens often.” When I was so sick, Luca would try to appease me when I cried out in pain by trying everything he could do. He would always be walking or sitting beside me whenever Mom used to let us go out and play. That's how I knew he cared about me despite not giving verbal affirmations like Leon does.

He knew how much I liked to listen to Mom reading me stories and when Mom and Dad had to stay behind at the pack house due to their Beta duties, Luca would come to my room to read me stories. When he came home from school, he would bring me a new book every week.

Luca was a person who always comforted me and a person I would trust while knowing he would always be one step behind me, standing.

We stared at each other’s eyes and he looked away with annoyance on his face. Who knew a person who rarely smiles and has zero emotional intelligence would be so caring and loving but he doesn't like to show.

Dad and Luca stayed in the room and then left for me to rest after almost an hour they asked me if I felt hungry or in pain for every few minutes. I knew it would appease them by just saying I was fine and letting them stay until they would feel relief.

Right after Dad and Luca were gone, Leon hopped onto my bed and laid beside me.

“Can I have your chocolate if you are not going to eat?” I chuckled and playfully pinched his muscled arm.

“Aww! It hurts Lula.”

“I know you don't. I couldn't even grab any skin.”

Leon snorts and grabs the chocolate. He peeled the warp and popped it inside his mouth.

“Oh, Beatrix asked me to tell you that you should call her back immediately. She sounded so worried about you,” he said while passing me my phone

I grabbed it and quickly called her.

After rings, she picked up.

“Hello, Bea…” There was a complete silence. I pulled back the phone from my ear and saw it was on call. I called her again after a few tries, I ended the call.

“That's weird. She would have blasted my ears once it was connected.”

“Yeah, is she even a girl? She speaks so fast and loud that if I was her neighbour, my ears might burst out.”

“Don’t be rude.” I slapped him on his chest while he rolled his eyes and got off the bed. He stopped right after turning the knob and turned to me.

“Lula…” he held the knob tightly and sighed loudly. “You scared the s**t out of me today.” he was looking down the floor before looking up at me. “If you ever feel sick, just don't hide it.”

Luca might be the shadow who would always be one step behind to protect me but Leon is always beside me, making sure I am always well. He used to cry with me when I cried from my pain when we were kids.

Growing up, he stopped and started to treat me as a normal sister. He would joke and scold me while my mom, dad and Luca were always worried and scared to cause any distress. But Leon would act like a crazy brother who wouldn't waste time annoying me and making me feel rage with his antics sometimes.

But he would be the one when I shiver from coldness due to my condition. I used to feel the sudden coldness and think that you are standing a -70 degrees Celsius in a bikini. He would hug me with his ability to stay warm and pat my head lightly, humming softly.

I sometimes feel like he flipped his gender from female to male when Mom pushed him out of her womb.

Everyone says that we act like twins and even I sometimes feel like that given we have one year age gap. We connected more than we did with our older brother. We got used to it and if someone ever asks if we are twins, we both just nod.

I know that he would be the one who was scared out of wits than anyone.

“I didn't hide it. I just didn't know my blood level would suddenly drop down.” I pouted and grumbled under my breath.

He said whatever and walked away but did not close the door. “LEON!!”

I screamed at him and I could hear him evilly giggle. That brother of mine. I stomped to my door and closed it.

I slumped onto the bed and looked up at the painting of clouds I painted.

Beatrix called me after twenty minutes, she said she lost her phone and a small boy came to give it back to her. She kept asking if anything happened to me but I just lied to her. Beatrix knows about my past medical condition but I don't want to put other people on the list to make them worry about it.

After we talked or Beatrix just threatened me most of the time to come to her sister’s wedding, I finally said yes but I don't know how I will convince those three guards I have. Sighing tiredly, I saw Lulu just woke up from her sleep and jumped right into my arms then fell asleep again.

This girl.

“Lulu, I am going to Beatrix’s pack.” While turning off the lights, I crawled back into my bed and hugged Lulu. She purred in response and rubbed her head inside of my palm.

“Do you have someone you secretly love as I find you sneaking out every night?” I whispered while rubbing behind her ears. She meowed lightly and her purring grew louder. Is it a yes or no?

“Well…to be honest I would want to get married someday.You know- a white dress and a bouquet. You can be my ring bearer or…not, you wouldn't want to be in a large gathering. Or you might steal the show away from me with your cuteness. Ah…” I sighed and kissed her head. Lulu meowed softly again.

I found Lulu when I was at my lowest. She was badly beaten by some middle school kids and was barely breathing when I found her near the bush. After she woke up, she had been clinging onto my side. Then as years passed, she gained confidence and started to wander out only during the nighttime when everyone was asleep.

I don't know how I would be if I hadn't saved her that time or rather she hadn't fought back for her life.

Pulling her closer to me, we both went to sleep. Along with the hard past, I had gone through, I had always found out that there are always people who care and love me more than anything. Also got to find some new friends who eventually became my family.

I guess I should slowly embrace my past.