14
Dany
When you think about your bucket list, all the things in life you want to do before you die, what’s on it?
I can’t think of a list of things to do so much as emotions to experience. I’ve not let myself experience the full range of emotions life has to offer. At six, I put on a mask of placid charm and I never took it off again. I worked at being polite and unobtrusive so hard, that I became those things and nothing else.
I’ve forgotten what the real me looks like.
Am I wild? Geeky? Boring? Funny? I don’t know, because I’ve never let myself be anything but…but grass. Muted. Utilitarian. Walked all over. Anytime grass reaches or tries to grow it’s mowed down.
That’s me. Any time I felt or wanted to do something out of the bounds of “proper” I mowed the urge down.
I’m grass.
I
