way out of your league

Self realization

Nora POV

After discussing with my brother I felt better.I was in good mood then I saw Natalie and it all went down the drain.I dislike her alot,she won't just disappear from our lifes but it's more irritating to know that Nathan loves her.It's annoying to seeing her manipulate him,but I've got other issues,big and personal issues.I can't believe Andre just rejected me.He seems serious about it.I miss when he would always be by my side when I requested but I do acknowledge that I made him and things this way.How could I have been so stupid,Andre has always been a loyal person even to his friends so he would never use me for anything.

I thought about this all week while I kept calling his line,he didn't pick and by Thursday I realized I was acting like a crazy stalker.I thought about what Nathan told me and i cried cause I realized I might have really lost him. There was really no one trying to snatch him but my stupidity might have ruined things, Natalie wasn't even after him cause if she was,she have had every opportunity to do that while I was hurting him.Soon it was Saturday and I was waiting for Andre at a restaurant,I prepared my mind to accept anything that came out of this."Hello Nora,sorry I'm late.I had an appointment which extended a bit"He said "No problem,I'm just happy you made it"I replied "I don't mean to be rude but can you say what you have to say so I can leave quickly" Andre said immediately they brought our order. "Ok, I'm sorry Andre.For not really believing you when you said you had nothing to do with leaking information to the press,for also breaking up with you for no reason,for breaking up the way we did,for allowing my dad treat the way he did,for hurting you over and over again. I'm sorry for everything I did and didn't do which hurt you and I hope you could forgive me please"I said while he paused staring at me quietly.

After a while he responded "Where is all this coming from Nora, what's the catch,why are you saying all these now" "Because I realized how stupid I was to ever doubt you,I actually had to pause and really look to see how much of a loyal person you are.I also had to meet disloyal people up close and personal to know you are nothing like that and I was a fool to take that for granted,I hope you can forgive me"I said.He smiled bitterly and then said "Ok Nora,I forgive you,I mean I have a long time ago,so that means our discussion is over right so I can leave"he said "Eerhmmm, I was also wondering if we could start afresh,date again,I promise I would be a better person this time and I would....."I was still speaking when he cut me off saying "mmmmmh wait a minute,let not move too fast,i forgive you Nora but I don't want to go out with you again,I'm just not ready for that now besides I don't think your parents would approve"he replied quickly "I promise they won't be able to stop us again cause I won't let them and we can go public now"I said frantically scared of his response "woa,No Nora, that is not what I want.Nora I know you've had series of bad relationship but trust me you are a great person and would find someone wonderful someday but just not me"Andre said calmly which I found scary "Do you hate me now"I asked shaking "No I don't Nora,and I could never hate you but I just don't feel that way about you anymore though I still want you to be happy"he said while I cried.I can't believe I was losing him or have I already lost him a long time ago "Nora please don't cry,Not here,you are drawing people's attention to us"he said quietly but I just couldn't stop so we had to leave."Are you going to be ok or do you need me to call someone"Andre asked when we got close to our car and I nodded.

As I drove off I just could not believe I was completely shut down.I lost him,I lost a great guy,what am I going to do,I thought helplessly.Making a u turn I drove to Andre's apartment,I was acting like a stalker for real this time I patiently waiting for him to come back which was two hours later.I wondered were he went to,is there someone else,is it Natalie. when he finally drove in I walked to him apartment slowly behind him and as he opened the door walking in I ran towards him scaring him as he struggled to shut the door,I pushed it,when he noticed it was me he let me in fuming "What the f**k is wrong with you Nora,what are you even doing here,I thought you went home.what is all these"he screamed frustrated "I'm sorry Andre,I just needed another chance to talk to you Andre,I don't want to loose you,I'm scared"I replied while he sighed saying "We just finished talking a few hours ago what more is there to say" "Is there someone else Andre,is it Natalie or anybody else,is that why you are turning me down"I asked "No Nora it just me and what I feel,As for Natalie this is the last time I would tell you she is like a little sister to me,she is nothing like that and you are just paranoid but trust me this is my decision"he replied "Ok Andre,I'm sorry"I said. when I noticed he was relaxed I tried reaching out for him but he pulled away saying "What do you think you are doing Nora"he asked,I've come too far too far to back down now so I kept trying to touch him while he kept pushing me away "Nora are you f*****g crazy,stop this right now"he said getting serious.I couldn't get to him so I pretended to stop while crying,"I'll walk you out"he said coming close to pull me up,I used this opportunity to pull him down so he lost his balance climbing on him I began kissing.At first he was trying to push me off him but he relaxed after some few seconds.I felt happy we were making progress but as I fumbled with his belt while kissing him getting all wet,he pushed me off him pulling away "Really Nora,do I look like a s*x toy to you.Is this what you really want,for me to f**k you so bad"he said visibly annoyed "I just felt..."I tried saying but Andre cut me off shouting "Felt what Nora!horny, what the f**k is wrong with you,do you f**k just anybody" "No I don't,I felt we would be closer after this,we were always hot in bed,maybe if we revive that we could be together officially"I replied "And you think I was with you because the s*x was great,Jesus Nora what the hell is going on in that head of yours.I could f**k you and still walk away Nora,it would be just s*x,I wasn't attracted to you because of that.Why would you offer you body like that.This is not the Nora I fell in love with" he replied while I cried for real this time.

As he called Nathan to pick me up,I could see how low I had gone.I was a stalker with nothing going on for herself.I was so focused on getting a man like that would define my life that everything in my life was crumbling even my business which I had even forgotten I had.what a horrible way I was living, before anyone could love me,I had to love and value myself which I wasn't doing as Nathan called that he was around I turned to Andre saying "I'm sorry I did what I did. I'm so sorry for being an obsessive stalker and I promise to leave you alone.I won't come close to you again,sorry Andre for everything."I said walking out "let me walk you out Nora" he said exhausted "No,it would make this harder.Bye Andre"I said as I walked out.

when I got to the car Nathan offered to drive me home but I insisted on driving myself.i noticed Nathan followed me with his car.when I got to my apartment he asked "Are you going to be alright Nora" "Yeah,I just need sometime alone so the fact I had lost him would sink in" I said bitterly "I'll check up on you early tomorrow morning"he said while I nodded as he drove off I walked to my apartment and spent the night crying.