way out of your league

Peace

Catherine's POV

My life has been a mess lately, I don't seem to have any measure of control over anything happening in it. From Julia dating the guy I love to her f*****g the next guy I was trying to move on with and now even after I felt I could deal with it, I mean i'm a big girl,Julia is back on speaking terms with Judah.I can't help being so mad,that girl is someone who wants to eat her cake and have it but then I'm not stupid enough to think this is entirely on her.

Feeling calm enough so I don't create a scene in Hansel's home with his parents as an audience,I walked out of the bathroom to hear Judah say obviously to Julia at the other end of the line "Calm down Juls,stop panicking just go to the hospital,I guess its just the flu. Every thing would be fine,Ok.Talk to you later, take care".I was seething and I couldn't keep it in anymore "You know what Jude, you are such a hypocrite.I didn't do close to half of what she did when you cut me off,you won't talk to me or give me a chance but for Juls,its fine now right" i said "Cathy please this isn't like that, I get that Juls f****d things up real bad but i'm over it now.it's almost two months Cathy and i've moved on and past it.I talk to her once in a while but that's it"he replied "But when it was me you wouldn't talk to me for months,you avoided me like a plague and when I told you I was sorry, you still wouldn't talk to me,was that how little I meant to you. You are just pathetic and this situation I find myself with you and Juls is also Pathetic" I screamed frustrated "Cathy no don't do that,don't f*****g down play what you did to me,I love you cathy and watching you do what you did was killing me,you ripped my heart out.And I know if I wasn't careful with you,you could hurt me again.I really don't want to go through that again with you Cathy, it would kill me,I love you way too much now to survive that s**t" Judah also screamed "So with your precious Juls its ok but with me even if I had the self respect of telling you before leaving while we were not even dating it wasn't, just listen to yourself" I said "No,with Juls it wasn't ok but I kind of knew that could happen,i'm just mad she didn't have the decency or enough respect for me to acknowledge she wanted to go back to him and just did that but with you,with you baby,I never saw that coming.You stabbed a knife through my gut and kept twisting it.i'm scared of going through that again" he replied and I just walked away.That weekend Tyler kept calling me and I was actually thinking of trying with him since he kept asking for another chance.

Getting back to my apartment I kept thinking about what to do,hanging out with Tyler for the next few weeks helped me make a decision.I wanted to try with Tyler cause even though Judah and I are cool now and we get along after the weekend at Hansel's home,I still felt he was guarded with me.On that note I decided to pay Tyler a visit at the firm he was now working,getting there I heard Tyler talking to someone "I can't believe I fell for this plot I mean isn't this just convenient for you. Trying to hold me down with a child,I guess your plan was perfect but not new,listen and listen good Julia,i'm not getting back with you after hurting me and trampling on my pride.Yes I care a lot about cat so no matter how many times you tell me this or whoever you bring with you,i'm not getting back together with you" he said but the most shocking is when I heard another voice I'ld recognise even in my dreams say "Thank God you aren't contesting whether or not it is your child cause trust me it is yours and you have to take responsibility for that child,Come on man that's your kid but as for your relationship with her that's for you two to figure out" Judah said while I heard Julia crying "And why don't you think it might have been yours" Tyler asked "Cause we didn't have s*x for a month cause of my finals and even before then he always used a condom.Please Tyler I promise I wasn't trying to hurt you or Catherine but I can't do this alone.I know you still care about me let's work on our relationship for our baby,I really don't want to have a child in a broken home" Julia said while my heart crumbled,I was going through this nightmare again,first Andrew now Tyler why does my life suck I think "I can't Julia,I do care about you so much but i'll always wonder if it would have been better with Cat,she is an amazing woman and I like her a lot" Tyler said "You should be trying to figure out how to tell Cathy this s**t and don't think i'm going sit back and watch you hurt her cause that's what you trying to string her along would lead to.Why not try focusing on your baby and leave Cathy out of this mess" Judah said "wouldn't that be just convenient for you"Tyler said "If that's what I wanted to do,trust me you don't and never stood a chance.Its so very annoying she has to go through this s**t again" Judah said while I opened the door to the shock on their faces."Wow! just wow! I can't believe this"I said still shocked and hurt "Catherine how long have you been here" Tyler asked "long enough" I replied "Cathy this isn't what it seems please calm down" Judah said "Calm down, did you just tell me to calm down, I come to the office of the guy i've being seeing to tell him i'm ready to look past the fact that he f****d his ex only to realize she is pregnant and that he might still have feelings for her and my own ex or is it f**k buddy who wants nothing to do with me is in support of them getting back together.Isn't this comic" I screamed "i'm so sorry Catherine" Julia said "don't you dare call my name, you slut.How dare you act like you give a f**k about me now" I said fuming and moving towards her but Judah quickly stood in front of her protecting her while I stood there hurt.

"Cathy please calm down and I know what you are thinking right now,this is nothing like that baby" Judah say "What am I thinking Jude" I asked but Tyler cut in saying "Cat this doesn't change a thing,we can still make this work please give us a chance" "Do I look like a person you can use as a rebound or do you want me to use you as one, stay away from me Tyler.This is over,I can't deal with this a second time" "Please cat you can use me as whatever you want i'm ok with that, just please don't do this" Tyler said "I respect you too much to use you as that and I want us to part peacefully" turning to Julia i said "Are you happy now,you got what you wanted right,I hope you are satisfied" "i'm so sorry Catherine, I'm really sorry about everything" Julia said "Oh please shut up,its not like we were ever friends, you were so quick to f**k Judah then and even quicker in f*****g Tyler so save this irritating act and don't you ever call my name again" I said moving towards her again but Judah block her from my view infuriating me "Get the f**k away from my front you traitor" I said hitting Judah who pulled me out of the office while in the elevator I said to Judah "Are you satisfied with your match making skills,well you must be cause your precious Juls is ok right.It took me so long to see it but now I understand you don't give a f**k about me you disgusting human" I concluded slapped him but as the elevator opened he simply pulled me to his car,pushing me in and driving off "Do you even care about my feelings a little even as a friend" I asked Judah "You know I do cathy,you know how I feel about you" he replied "So taking her side is your way of showing it" I said in disbelief "Cathy you were so mad,you were going to slap her and she was already shaking.You know she is pregnant, Cathy she is even considering an abortion, that's why I went with her to see him just so he acknowledge the child is his" Judah said "what about me,don't you think I care about Tyler" I asked "Cathy I know you do and I really didn't want to hurt you but they are having a baby and he needs to take responsibility for it.Also I really don't want you to stick around and get hurt again, you've been in that situation before and you know its an ugly one" he said pulling me into his apartment "why does she always take people from me,why can't I get a break. You choose her over me and I know in the long run he would choose her over me.Why can't I get be happy for once. This is your fault" I said hitting Judah while he carried me into his apartment "Please calm down Cathy, I'm sorry.I know you are hurt and maybe i'm partly the cause, please just calm down I hate seeing you like this" he said but I just crashed my lips to his kissing him sucking and biting his lips while he groaned "Cathy please we can't do this" he said pulling back.I felt exhausted and as soon as I laid on his couch while he offered to get me a drink,I slept off.

A week after that incident I got a call from Julia who wanted us to meet up. when we did I noticed she looked pale and stressed.After our awkward greeting she said "So Tyler and I have come to an agreement, he would take responsibility for the baby but we aren't dating. I really hope you guys can work on your relationship and I promise not to get in the way,i'm sorry about everything Catherine" she said and I was surprised so I just nodded but after a while I said "what's the catch Julia,is it that you want Judah back cause if you do i'm not in your way,he doesn't want me so no need for this" she laughed nervously and said "Judah and I are over,I know he cared about me but he never really loved me,I guess I just hoped with time he would.He always loved you and I hated that fact.it was like you owned a part of him even when he was with me and I acted bitchy towards you for that.i'm sorry" "Are you ok Julia how is your pregnancy coming along" I asked "Truthfully it has been hard" she replied with tears in her eyes and I held her hand to comfort her "its really sad we never got along but i'm here if you need me.Natalie and Joy have been trying to reach you,at first they were mad but a week after they just wanted to know how you were doing, they are still your friends you know" I said "i'm sorry I have been pushing everyone away I saw their calls and voice messages.They call all the time,but I guess i'm just feel sad, ashamed and pity for myself and their text messages are so nice,I feel I don't deserve their love or attention after everything i've done" she replied "They worry about you,where is your new apartment Julia" I asked and after getting the address I said "You can build a relationship a with Tyler you know,he cares about you" "No he loved me but now he cares about you,I can only hope we can be civil and co-parent amicable" she said."You can get that back Julia don't give up"I said after hugging her I left.

I left julia feeling happier we ended up sorting things out,hopeful that things works out well for her and Tyler,finally Thankful Judah stopped me from hitting her cause she is going through a lot right now.And now i'm determined to get Judah back,I guess he should be prepared but I'm still pissed off at him.