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Ryan’s Journal
16 March 2009
I used to think I was bulletproof. Like I could do anything. No sense of fear and all that. Just fun at all costs. That's what I used to feel like. I’ve felt different the last couple of weeks. I guess it’s been longer than that, like a niggling feeling of something I can’t quite explain. But these last few weeks it’s been more than usual. It’s like I think I should be happier. I have a girlfriend now. And Laura’s great. Always so happy, so excited to see me. She’s changed me. For the better. When I’m with her, she makes me feel worth something. But the more I try to lose myself in her, it’s like the more awake my head becomes. Questioning me. Planting doubts in my head. Like I’m not good enough for her.
The last few weeks have felt like they’ve dragged
