As I walked past the boy locker room, I could hear them laughing at me, each of them had something demeaning to say about me.
“Who does she think she is? Even I couldn’t go against Emory”
“Tell me about it, she wanna join the team” they laughed.
I felt so ashamed like the world had shut it door against me, the clothes I wore were barely enough to cover me from the shame that I was feeling.
I kept my head down as I walked when I bumped into something.
I lifted my head and standing in front of me was Marsh.
“Are you okay?” He asked softly,
“I’m fine” I said.
I had made sure to wipe my eyes clean before stepping out of the ice rink, I didn’t want anyone to see that I was crying, otherwise they would mock me even more.
“You look like you were crying, your eyes are red” he said and I realized that I hadn’t done a good job in hiding it.
Fuck, I’m so useless.
“I’m sorry about what happened today?”
Why was he apologizing, this had nothing to do with him, I was the one who humiliated myself, despite bragging that I was that good.
“Those boys are jerks, they have always been jerks, so don’t mind them” he says.
“Thanks” I just replied.
“I personally think you were good out there” he says,
“Really?” I inquired, gosh I looked pathetic, even a tiny compliment was enough to make me feel hope.
“Yeah, if it makes you feel better, no one on the team has been able to get a puck past Emory.” He spills.
Well I should have known that before I accepted to play against him.
I see why Coach made me play against him, to him, Emory was the perfect person to teach me a lesson, that I wasn’t as good as I thought I was.
And he wasn’t kind about it either.
“Is he that good?” I inquired lifting my head,
“Yeah, several scouts come over just to see him play.” He says.
Now I knew that this was entirely pointless.
“He trains almost every day for this, just so that he can be the best” he goes on.
Emory might be a cocky bastard but he was hardworking.
He pushed a strand of my braid behind my ears,
“Don’t feel bad about this, I honestly think you are better than half of the team.
It would be tragic if you give up now. I’m rooting for you” he says then gives me a light smile.
He was nothing compared to that show off who kept mocking me in the rink.
How on earth do they stay friends.
I watched him return to the locker room, and I headed towards the female room.
I took off my clothes and took a cold shower.
I kept playing in my head the words the boys said about me, calling me a failure and mocking me.
How I was dumb enough to think that I could join the hockey team.
Maybe I was really a failure.
Maybe hockey wasn’t for me, like coach said.
This proves it.
Perhaps I would be better off trying something else.
I could only imagine what I would say to father, how I would break the news to him that I didn’t make it to the team.
I know he would be disappointed about it, yet he won’t show it, he would try everything to cheer me up.
Telling me that there are other sports I can try out, I just wanted to do something that would make him proud, he gave up his dream of playing hockey for me, I thought that if I followed his path then he would not feel guilty anymore for ruining mom’s life.
Maybe it’s best if I don’t say anything about it just yet.
After I was done with the shower, I changed into a new set of clothes, my eyes fell on the hockey stick I had brought with me into the ladies room.
I held it in my hand, this might be the last time I ever touch it.
I felt sad knowing that I worked so hard to make it to this point and now it was all for nothing.
Once I had made my peace with it, I knew I had to return it to the ice rink,
As I walked past the boy’s locker room, I could hear whispers from there.
Probably some boys talking about how dumb I was today, I knew I should ignore it but my curiosity got the better of me.
My eyes almost popped out from what I saw.
Leaning against the lockers was our History teacher, standing inches away from her was Emory, with his head buried in her neck,
“Emory stop,” she moaned, “Someone might see us” she said, trying so little to push Emory away.
“I don’t care” Emory replied greedily,
“We can’t do this here, what if someone comes in here?” She argued.
Emory ignored her, he held her hands and raised it over her head, then he kissed her.
“Do you know how much I missed you” he said as he deepened the kiss.
I gulped hard watching what I think might actually real.
“I missed you too” She whispered.
“You didn’t pick any of my calls”
“I was… occupied” She struggled to speak, with Emory all over her, she could barely utter a single sentence freely.
Moans escaped her lips, Emory wasn’t merciful with her, he was like a tiger devouring his prey.
Before I knew, he had flipped her over while he took off his shirt.
I quickly hid myself as I covered my lips with my hands, if they found out that I was watching them then there would be consequences.