I'll Love You, Tomorrow

Chapter 7 - MJ

Mikhael…

"What a long day.", I breathe heavily while Paul and I were exiting the building. There were a lot of queuing calls and customer complaints about being charged with erroneous accounts. They all wanted to talk to the supervisor. If only I could drop the call on them, I already did.

"You ok Mike? You're frowning.", Paul asked. Maybe he noticed how frustrated I were after the shift. 

"The usual, irate callers.", I replied lamely.

I invited Paul for a cup of coffee to stress relieve ourselves, I badly needed this. Especially, that there was no news yet from the office about the grant I requested. It was adding to my worries for weeks now. Good thing that after I passed the entrance exam I made a reservation for a slot. This slot assured my enrolment this coming June but it will be given to other applicants if I won't secure it with a payment.

I never told my attempt of taking that exam to anyone. I never lost my dream of finishing college with the degree on Hotel and Restaurant Management and put up my own coffee shop. That is why I was over joyed when I got an email from the university that I got in.

Santa Rosa University is known for its medical courses but I chose to take HRM. There are universities that HRM is there prime course but I'd rather study here because of convenience. It's quite costly but its near my workplace compared to the universities in the city.

When we entered the coffee shop, we sat on the couch farthest to the center where there were less people.

"What do you want to drink?", Paul asked. I didn't notice that he was waiting for my order for quite a while now. I was so spaced-out that I forgot he was there.

"Ok, I'll order for us.", he said finally after seeing that I couldn't choose a drink for myself. He stood up and fall in line at the counter. From where I was sitting, I noticed that the girl in the counter was making an eye at Paul, clearly she was interested at my friend. The woman was fair skinned, slender, looks jolly and with a cute smile. She was really good for the job; it fits her well.

When it was Paul's turn to order, the counter lady couldn't hide her smile at him. Her eyes sparkled and she was controlling herself hard not to giggle. But Paul seemed not to notice any of these. It was admirable of him to be humble and grateful to the complements given to him by many ladies but rather chose to ignore them instead.

After a few minutes, Paul came back with a cup of cookies and cream frappe from himself and a strawberry crème frappe for me. He also added a chocolate mousse for sides I guess.

"I really do not know what you liked in strawberry crème frappe, I doesn't even taste good.", Paul commented on my drink. Honestly, I didn't know as well. I just happened to like the combination of strawberry syrup and cream. I smiled and ignored his commentaries. There was nothing to complaint about, it was his treat in the first place.

"So, want to talk about it?", Paul started. I was always defenseless when he uses those words on me. He knew that I was thinking and bothered by something and he always feel like I needed to talk about it. "I know it's not about work Mike. So, spill it."

"I really can't hide anything from you. Can I?", I replied in retreat. He acknowledged his win in a wink.

I tried to calm myself before starting. I told him the obvious; a lot of irate callers, queuing calls, complaints and the most bothering of all was the grant that I was very hopeful to win over. Until,

Cough…cough…cough

"Hey, are you ok? What happen to you?", I exclaimed to Paul when suddenly he coughed himself with his drink. There's a mess on our table with his frappe. His clothes were also stained and wet. I was holding myself not to laugh at him.

"Better?", I asked again when he finally settled. "What's wrong?"

"Mike," he started. "I forgot to tell you. Miss Cara walked by my station earlier asking me to tell you to meet her after your shift. I was about to tell you but I forgot because of the queuing calls. And you went to the CR that moment so I could tell, sorry."

"WHAT!", I exclaimed. Everyone at the coffee shop looked at our table.

"Sorry Mike, I really forgot.", Paul apologized.

"What time did she come to you? Did she say what was that about? Did she say its urgent?", I asked him rapidly. I was so alarmed. Its past 7 already, office was until 5 only. I hoped she won't be disappointed when I come to her tomorrow.

Paul continued to apologize until we left the coffee shop. I assured him I was not upset and I understand. We both came from a stressful shift that day and anything like that could slip out of anybody's mind. I just crossed my fingers that Miss Cara won't be disappointed with me for missing a supposed meeting with her later that day.

I know Miss Cara so well when it comes to work ethics and meeting deadlines. She is so efficient that it really pissed her off when something missed the set expectations. My heart is pounding with excitement from the reason why she wanted to see me. I am very hopeful that it's about the grant and its positive.

MJ…

It's twenty past 11 in the morning. I woke up late today after the night before.

I couldn't remember what time I arrived home last night. I remembered getting back in the bar after I ran after him. I sat on our table and grabbed my bottle. Warren and Stephen were enjoying their time with their new found girlfriends while I kept quiet on my seat. I was occasionally drinking my beer while watching random people at other tables having fun and those at the dance floor. After a short while I got sleepy and lean my head on our table. Later on I felt Rollan nudging me from the side and whispering that we're about to leave. I think I fell asleep the rest of the night.

"Did I get myself drunk last night?", I sarcastically asked myself while trying to get up. I get to the kitchen and prepared myself with a cup of coffee.

I grabbed my cup and sat on the kitchen table. I remember some things about last night; the mess we had on the dance floor, the kiss with that woman, the mad approach of his boyfriend on me and of course, him. The alone guy by the window at far end of the bar.

I couldn't help it but I am seeing myself in him. I know Danny and I are hopeless. There is nothing between the two us anymore but friendship. Last night was supposedly the time when I will bury whatever special feelings I have for him. But instead, this guy caught my attention and suddenly everything went back to the way they were; lonely and heartbroken.

He reminded me so much of Danny the night I saw him at a coffee shop in Santa Rosa. They were both alone and looking sad. They only differ on their drinks; Danny was drinking coffee at that time while he was drinking beer. Nevertheless, they both look like they needed someone.

I actually love the atmosphere of being alone sometimes; it helps me reflect and renew myself. Especially in my line of work, this is the time when I release my stresses and recharge myself to get ready for the work tomorrow.

Honestly, I already miss that alone time for myself. Since I met Danny, I always find time to be with him. Most of time, I was the one who sets up a date for us. Even if we work different jobs, we live at different location, I manage to find time for us to be together. Even just for a cup of coffee.

He became my "everyday". I somehow built my world around him and raised my walls with him inside. It's very funny and idiotic for me to do such things for him when we barely know each other. I invested a lot of feelings for him that instant. But frankly, no one is to blame but me. I decided to do such things for him and he was very honest with me. I know that he has Adrian and he couldn't give me anything more than just friendship.

I said to myself that I will forget about him already but after last night, after seeing this guy, I remember everything again. Seems like I haven't moved on with Danny yet.

I sat by the kitchen looking at my mini garden by the glass wall of my apartment. I love drinking my coffee there at 5 in the morning. I love the cold and moist morning air and the darkness of the subdivision. It doesn't bother me if no one is awake yet or the surrounding is still dark, I love it there and it is where I find peace.

"MJ, keep your act together. Wake up.", I scolded myself. "Danny is an emotional burden to you right now and obviously you haven't moved on from him yet. And now this? You cannot have another luggage right now especially that you're having this new job."

Yes, I'm having a new job and it will start two weeks from now. Though my credentials and reputation precedes me, I still need to prove myself. I have a scheduled meeting this afternoon with the President. Of all dates, he decided to set this meeting abruptly this afternoon, when I am not feeling so well. But of course, I need to attend to it. I cannot let these distractions get in my way of proving myself to the President.

I've been staring at my coffee for about 10 minutes now thinking of the things that's been happening in my life. It's really hard not have anybody to share your life with. I've been living my life alone for quite some time now. I started supporting myself since college. My mom found a new man and they ran to the North. I have a new brother with him already and I think this kid is on his 6th grade now.

I was mad with my mom at first for leaving us. It was hard and nerve wrecking especially that I was still studying. I had to work and study at the same time to support myself to college. I was working nights and studying by day. My brothers went with dad. And since no guidance were given to them, their lives went haywire. They didn't finish their studies and go with their peers instead. After few years, they had their own families and its late already for them to realize the importance of finishing school to land a good job. I tried my very best to set an example for them. As the eldest, I must show them that there still hope for us despite what happened. But I think I was late, they won't listen and prefer to be with friends instead.

I failed at that. I couldn't convince my brothers to finish their studies like what I was doing. I cannot blame them. I could barely support myself how could they expect me to support them. I fend for myself for the longest time now. I managed to finish my studies until post graduate that landed me a very good job right now.

Compared to my brother's, I have a comfortable life. I have a place of my own and a stable job. But unlike them, I have nobody. Maybe that's why I got hooked up with Danny so badly. I saw much of myself in him; hardworking, motivated and good at what he does. That's why I let myself to fall for him even if it's a desperate move on my part. 

And now, I have to forget these feelings for him. I've been very emotionally dependent on him lately which was so unlike me. I was used to being dependent and self-sustaining. I never had someone to run to when I need help or when I'm weak; that's how I get to where I am now. But when Danny came, a lot of it changed. I've let my guard down. Maybe because I thought, like my brothers, I could have someone to be with me as well; someone who is there through ups and down.

But I was wrong. I was the only one thinking about it for us. His feelings are for Adrian alone, not me.

I need to forget Danny. These feelings I had for him won't do me any good. The feelings just came back again when I saw this guy last night. I think it was just a coincidence that they were at the same state when I saw them and I admired their preference of solitude and recluse in times like those, much like me. 

I know that these thoughts will not disappear until I see this guy again, at least.

Should I get back to the bar and asked about him?

Should I visit more often and hope for the chance of ever seeing him there alone again?

I still have two more weeks to worry myself about him. Two more weeks before my job starts.

Please let me see you again.

Even just by chance.