I'll Love You, Tomorrow

Chapter 17 – The Past

MJ...

Days turned to weeks

Weeks turned to months

Several Saturdays had passed, tons of work and difference in schedules, still I haven't had the chance to talk to Mikhael again, to apologize. I really hope that he was not upset with me.

Everytime I enter the room, Mikhael's head was down. He was not looking at me. During my discussions, he's just listening. He's very intent but never asking. He kept himself busy during class. Whenever I give questions, most of the class raised there hands but never him. I was trying to create an interaction with him in class but he was so recluse. He never allowed our eyes meet, not even once.

I felt so guilty.

I tried approaching him during activities to check his work or at least to come near him but its not working. Secretly, his paper is my key to corrections. He performs well in my class. He seldom commits mistakes regardless of how difficult my activities were. I tried to congratulate him after a job well done but something stopped me. I couldn't find the courage to say something nice to him infront of the class.

Whenever I come near him, he is busy assisting his seatmate Paul which I allow to promote collaborative learning.

One afternoon, I found him sitting alone on a bench beside the soccer field. In fact, I always see him sitting there through our faculty window. He is always looking blankly at the sky, thinking. Sometimes, he is with Paul. They look so happy together. I even saw him talking to three boys while sitting there. He seems to have a lots of friends here besides Paul.

"Hi,...Mr. Alfonso.", I greeted as I approached him one afternoon. He maybe was deeply lost in his thoughts that he didn't recognize me coming.

"MJ...sorry. I mean, sir Joaquin.", he replied shyly. Still, Mikhael was not looking at me. He had his head down and quiet, like he didn't want me to be there.

"Do you always stay here?", I asked casually while looking at the field. The view was relaxing especially with the orange light from the setting sun and a mild cold breeze that comes with it. It was a cool place to spend time on.

"Not really. My class was dismissed early so I decided to stay here for a while.", he said shyly. I felt the distance between us compared to those days before we met here.

I know this is the kind of impression I am expecting from my students; distant and with respect. But

I am not liking it with Mikhael. I prefer the feeling we had before we knew that I'm his professor and he's my student. I like that even more. I know that its my fault that we are in this situation and I hope I could do something to take us back to where we started; light and with no tension between us.

"You're doing great in my class. Keep it up.", I commended him. I have always to say sorry to him but my reputation hinders me.

I know it was my fault, I know there's nothing wrong about asking for an apology, but I think there's something more.

"Thank you sir.", he replied.

"...and about last time.", I started after I finally found the courage to talk about it. He looked at me and for the first time after what happened, our eyes met. His eyes were dreamy. They seemed to be seeing something in me when he looked at each other. I haven't notice it before but now, I could appreciate them. I walked towards him, closer.

"...what about last time sir?",

I walked closer to him until we were a foot of each other. Then I bent over to take a closer look on those dreamy eyes.

"Sir?....sir Joaquin?",

I was there standing and bending forward. Our faces were very close without noticing it. All I could see were those dreamy eyes. Our face moved closer, and closer, and closer, until,

"Mike!"

Someone called from a distant. I got back to my senses and realized our position. I hurriedly walked back a few paces until I was on an acceptable distance from him and then pulled myself together.

I was still lost but I heard Mike called back to the person.

"How long have been here? Let's go. We have class in 10.", the guy said.

"Not that long. Yeah let's go.", Mikhael replied blankly and stood up after gathering his stuffs.

"Oh, good afternoon prof.", he greeted when he noticed me.

"Sean, this is my professor in Stat, Mr. Joaquin.", Mike introduced him to me which I acknowledge with a nod.

"Shall we?", Mike invited.

"Yeah sure."

"We'll go ahead sir.", Mike said then hurriedly picked up his stuffs. They walked away together. As I looked at them, Mike looked back at me and I caught his sight. He looked confused and bewildered. I wouldn't blame him because I was confused myself. I didn't know what came to me and acted that way.

Mikhael...

"Mikhael are you okay? You've been quiet.", Sean poked me on the side while skirting a long table. Its performance task tonight and I was working with Sean.

MJ, I mean, professor Joaquin was acting weird earlier. After our mis-encounter during the first day, I tried my best to be unnoticeable to him. I kept quiet on my seat for three hours listening and writing his lectures. When he computes on the board, I listen hard so that I won't ask for clarification. During recitation, I never raise a hand even if I know the answer. I may not have grades for it but at least my written works will be great.

I'm happy that Paul always bugs me during lectures, he kept my mind busy. Especially when I hear MJ's footsteps coming in closer to our seat. I kept my head down and scribble frantically.

"I'm good. I'm just tired.", I replied shortly. Sean returned to his skirting until,

"Ouch!", I screamed. I pricked my finger with pin I was working on. For almost two hours of skirting, I felt my hands and fingers getting numb. Our professor noticed it and suggested that we could call it a day and continue our work tomorrow. Everyone felt relieved and started loosening up and rest for a while.

"Are you ok?", Sean asked me, concerned. He was looking at my hand. I kept it from anyone when I pricked myself but Sean insisted.

"Mike, your finger is bleeding. That's deep.",

I might have pushed the pin hard that when it missed the spot, it slided directly to my finger. I kept a smile on my face to Sean so he won't worry.

"It was nothing. I'm ok.", I told Sean reassuringly.

"Class, you may keep your things now. We can continue this next meeting.", our professor announced.

We went back to our seat. I kept a firm press on my finger to prevent more bleed.

"It hurts right? You can't deny it Mike. I can see it on your face. Grab your things. Lets go to the cafeteria.", Sean invited.

"Cafeteria? shouldn't we go to the clinic?", I complained.

"Its past 8. Do you think clinic is still open?"

"Point taken. But why in cafeteria?"

"We can buy something cold there to press on you finger. That's a double purpose; a cold drink and cold compress.", Sean explained cheerily.

I didn't argue with Sean on this and just followed his lead.

We went out and just outside the university was a cafeteria. Upon entering, we sat on a table beside a window where we could see the street outside.

"What are you drinking?", Sean asked after putting his things on his chair.

"What do they have here? I haven't been here before.", I replied while scanning their menu board showing a variety of coffees, and milktea.

"I'll order for us instead. What do you want for snacks?",

"Its ok I'm good. I'll have dinner at home. Drinks will be fine."

Sean walked to the counter to order and left me sitting on our table. I looked outside and at the univesity from the other side of the road. I noticed the rooms that were still lit in the buildings. It was nice and calming to see those light in the midst of pitch black skycrapers. So peaceful.

While sitting there, I remembered Mr. Joaquin again and what happened earlier. My first day with him was a mess; he was stern, hard and rude on me. But this afternoon, he was different. He was nice but wierd. He moved his face close to mine and stared me in the eyes. If I've known any better, I think he was about to kiss me if Sean didn't called.

Why would he do that?

"Wintermelon.", Sean distracted my daydreaming. "Its there best seller according to the counter."

"Thanks", I said receiving the cold milktea.

He ordered the same drinks for us. He sat opposite to me and started drinking his. Its not obvious that he loved his drink because he almost emptied it out in just one sip.

"Do you come here often?", I asked. He looked at me and stopped drinking. His expression changed.

"Before but not anymore.", he replied sounding defensive. "How about you, what's your deal? You were quiet and unfocused in class earlier."

Technically, this is my first dine out with Sean. Since we finish late, we just immediately go home after class. We never had time to go out. When in class, we only talk about the lectures. It is nice that Sean invited.

"Again, it was nothing. I was just tired from work and school works. That's all.", I replied warily but it seemed he didn't believe me. I was planning to ask him something in return but I saw Ram and his friend coming in the cafeteria.

"Isn't that Ram? with Roger and Jerome.", I pointed out. Sean looked at there direction. His face changed again.

They entered the cafeteria. Since the place was empty, they immediately saw me sitting on one of the table with Sean.

"Hey Mikhael! what are you doing here? Its late already why are you two still here....", Roger greeted me but held back when he figured who I was with.

"Hello Mike, hows it goin...", Ram greeted also but like Roger, he held back when he saw Sean.

"Our class finished at 8 and we're just chillin'. By the way, this is my class....", I replied but Ram cut me off.

"Sean...", he said flatly.

Sean looked back and obviously forced a smile. Jerome and Roger exchange looked while Ram was fixated on Sean. Ram smiled back but no one talked anymore or even say a word for about a minute.

"So, you know each other.", I initiated.

"We were classmates in junior high.", Roger replied.

"Really, that's great! come on. Lets all sit together.", I cheefully invited.

"Sean...."

"Mikhael its getting late. I think I have to go.", Sean cut Ram off.

"We just got here."

"I guess I'll be leaving alone. I still have papers to finish due on Monday. I have to go. Sorry." he excused.

Sean grabbed his bag and stood up. He gave the three a nod and left without any word.

"What happen?", I asked, confused.

"Mike, you see..."

"Sean is right. It's late.", Ram cut Roger off.

"Yes, its late and we are tired. We just came from practice. We will leave.", Jerome seconded.

They didn't even took a seat. They immediately left the cafeteria without any further words.

"Again, what just happened?", I asked my self.

I stayed a while drinking my wintermelon pondering on what just happened. If Sean knew Ram and the boys since junior high, what's with the cold feeling? They seemed to not like one another. And

Jerome and Roger's looks at one another tells a lot about something.

After finishing my drink, I took a jeepney ride home still thinking about Sean and Ram.