Her Unknown Responsibilities

The Real Nice Guy

After ice cream, Matteo got a call. I'm not sure what it was about but it changed his mood a lot. So he took me home but the drive was quiet.

***

I called Liam and we talked for a few hours. I wasn't exactly sure what to call Matteo so I just said he was a friend that I haven't seen in a while. He didn't push the matter which was amazing because that already was the shitty lie I've ever told.

He asked if he could take me out tomorrow and I said yes but I'm nervous. He won't tell me where he is taking me so I have no idea what shoes to wear. I'm going to text Matteo to let him know because he kind of like my bodyguard.

A: Hey I hope everything's okay. I just wanted to let you know I'm going on a date tomorrow. Not sure if you still have to follow me so...

That was awkward. I feel weird now about going. Now I know I would have eyes on me. Yikes. What if I do something embarrassing and Mattheo is just watching in the distance. Oh boy, this is making me uncomfortable now.

** 1 hour later **

M: Yeah just a little problem back home. I might have to go back. But if you want privacy then I can stay back unless you are going out of town. I can follow but not watch you like when you were at the hospital. Just have me on speed dial if you need anything.

A: Sounds good. I just don't want him to accidentally see you because I told him I've never met my dad which is still true but the whole story is just complicated. Also if you need to talk about the call you had you can talk to me.

After I talked to him I feel a little better. Now I know I won't have eyes on me from a distance. 

L: Hey love, by the way, bring extra clothes, fancy clothes, and a bathing suit for tomorrow. I'm picking you up at 4:30. Night ;)

***

It's eleven at night and I can't sleep. I don't want to be tired in the morning but not even the sleep aid I took hours ago is making me want to fall asleep. I'm nervous. I've never been on a date besides like one time and it was with Ben. We did little things that lasted an hour or maybe a few but never something that lasted all day. I wonder what this date will be like. I wonder if I like this guy...

I don't want a relationship because I feel like being in one is like being in a moving room that gets smaller. And I'm claustrophobic. Relationships were never something that worked in my family but for me, they were somehow worse. They had a bigger effect on me. My mother stays in her unhealthy relationship she even chose it over her kids but I could never do that. My sister Nora stays with Mia even after she almost killed her. I don't understand it.

The last time I dated the nice guy everything went to s**t. I hate to admit how much it affected me but that relationship made me feel like I was just like my family. He made me feel like I was nothing...

The crazy thing was that it all started with me getting really sick. He was so clingy that me having a virus that had killed how many people seem to have not mattered to him. When he didn't get his way he argued and made me feel like I was nothing like I was shit...

After that, I never wanted to be in a relationship. I know it was a year ago but you never forget how someone you truly cared about hurt you just like the person who f****d you up from the beginning. I didn't love Ben, not in the way I thought. He was the person I went to about everything and the worst part about us breaking up was when he was the person I needed to talk to about how hurt I was but I couldn't because he was the one who hurt me...

I don't want to compare Liam to that but bringing someone into my life again is scary. Maybe all along Ben was never a good guy I just only saw the good in him because he was my close friend. 

Liam just might be the real nice guy.

I have to wake up at three. But I can't sleep so I'm just sitting here bored out of my mind...

scrolling through tik tok and guess who texted me. Mattheo!

M: Hey. Are you up cause I'm bored and ordered food and I'm not going to be able to eat all this alone?

I laughed it was like God was answering a prayer that I didn't even say. I wondered what kind of food because if it wasn't something good I was going to be mad.

A: How'd you know I was bored out of my mind?

A: the door is unlocked don't be loud...

I hear him walk in quietly with a smile and three bags of food. Oh my lord, he's trying to make me fat. I look at him "I feel like a cow already. What are you trying to do fatten me up before I go into a slaughterhouse?" He laughs but doesn't reply. 

"There are six cheeseburgers, macaroni and cheese, fries, and fried chicken." He said. I took one of the bags looked in a saw the greatest looking macaroni I've seen in my life and I tasted so good. "I love you," I said to the food. He laughs "are you talking to the food?" "Duh I don't know you like that but you just became my best friend," I said eating a fry. "Well good cause you stuck with me," he says eating a burger.

It's now 1 am and we ate all the food. Now we were just talking. "What's your favorite movie?" I asked. He didn't answer I think he was thinking about it. "If you don't have one that's fine just tells me some you do like." "I don't really know there's a lot of good movies. It just depends on the genre." He says. "Like Harry Potter is like action fantasy, marvel avengers are action, the conjuring movies were bomb as hell" I smile. "you see I know something children don't, that no one bad is ever truly bad, and no one good is ever truly good," I said quoting a marvel character. He smiles "quoting a villain." I look at him "The villains are some of the most important characters in movies. They show how broken someone can be to turn into someone else." "you know I used to find it insulting that I was barred from your special little club. But now I realize I lack the flexibility to become a member. I could never get my head far enough up my own ass" I smiled wondering if he knew this one. 

"Klaus Mikaelson. A very broken character" He said. Of course, he knew that. "I think out of all the things he said the quote I can most relate to him saying was "I wanted a family, they just didn't want me" it was one of the more sad things he says," I said looking away. "But there that one he says that hit me hard "I know what it's like being alone, feeling empty inside, having no one to understand."

I look at the time Jesus it's already 2:10 in the morning. I want to go sleep so bad but I have to get up in like thirty minutes. So is it worth it? "Can you wake me up in thirty minutes? Please." I asked Mattheo.

"Why thirty minutes?" "Because I need to get ready. Liam is getting me at 4:30." I said changing my position. "Nope. It's 2:10 you can sleep for an hour. You don't take long to get ready." He says handing me my favorite pillow. And just like that, I fell asleep.