Dragoned in Half

Emotions Taking Over-Julia

My breath saws in and out of my chest in fury as I watch the way he treats his brother. Just moments ago, he had me trapped in a heated kiss that I was even sure I wanted to end. The way that he kissed me and slid his tongue against mine was like nothing that I eve experienced. I don’t even know how I was able to respond and kiss him back with the way that he makes me feel.

As I stand here now, there is nothing that I can do. It pisses me off that I have nothing to fight with but my words. Using my fist against him does nothing at all. Each time I try to fight him it feels as if he flings me away like an annoying insect buzzing in his ear. So much for this mate s**t. I must have done something pretty bad in a previous life if fate thought that I deserved someone so cruel.

I can’t seem to take my eyes off of Jefferson. There is so much fight in him even after all that he has been through. If anything I would have given up in his position. Yet, he still tried to protect when that door opened. Now as I look into his eyes as Morbius has him pinned to the floor waiting; I cry for him. I never wanted to have a mate. I never imagined that I could be one. Something in side of me did however want the chance to know him. I wanted the chance to see him live.

The words that pour from his mouth shock me. “I….Jefferson… Maurice…. Howard..accept Julia as my mate and love of… my life. From this day…..to the time of my death, I am yours. In heart. In body. And in Soul”. I can hear the pain he must feel as he says the words. As he finishes them, its like something snaps in place inside me. The sorrow that I now feel is all encompassing and it makes me want to go to the floor to cry in ball. I suck in a ragged breath as the tears from my eyes start to slip.

It’s like I can feel him now. I wrap my arms around my waist as I try to hold myself together through this. I barely know him but I feel like the loss of him will leave a hole in my heart always. It feels as if I am watching my best friend die right in front of me but its multiplied. I watch as Morbius shifts above him and he lowers the stick even more. I want to run to push him out the way but with the size of him, I know that it would be useless. I have no choice but to watch Jefferson die.

The tears that shined in her eyes but refused to drop have now fallen. She sits on the floor a few feet away from me and holds her arms tight around her body. Her eyes widen behind me and I just know that something bad is going to happen. I don’t want her to see this.

Make her turn away.

“Turn a-away” He whispers. I can barely hear the words as he says them. I shake my head so fast in disagreement. He doesn’t deserve to die alone. If his brother refuses to show him love and care in his final moments, then I can. “Please” he begs at my refusal.

I sniffle as I clear my voice to respond. He needs to hear me. He needs to know that he is not alone. “I will be here with you. As your mate I owe you that much” I promise him. I stare directly into his eyes as I say the words. I scream inside my head at the cruelty of this act. I cry for the chances that we could have and for a bond that I know I will lose. If he truly was my soulmate, I know that without him, I will never be happy.

The air in the room is stifling. I can barely breathe as I wait for one of the hardest things that I have ever had to witness. I want to say something to him. I want to try to convey what it has meant to me to meet him. Its with that very thought that I break my own rules. “I Julia Marianne Reed accept you Jefferson Maurice Howard as my mate and the love of my life. From this day forward until the time of your death, you are mine” I promise him through my tears.

The look of shock that crosses his face makes me smirk. I haven’t accepted anyone as belonging to me for as far as I can remember. His gasp fills the air and I sigh at the new feeling that enters my chest. I feel the tension leave my body as it relaxes on its own. I’m no longer afraid for him to die. Saying that vow makes it feel as if he is already with me. I scream when his body contorts. A brief flash of pain goes through my body and then it’s as if I am experiencing euphoria for the first time.

The tears that fall from eyes now are happy tears. I cheer him on in my head as I watch him start to rise from the floor and some of the color returning to his cheeks. My hopes are short lived as I watch and hear Morbius’ fist connect with Jeffersons face. The momentum he was gaining is immediately halted. He tries to move again but this time a large boot pushes and holds him to the ground. His eyes widen as Morbius pushes the pole to his backside and we both freeze.

He wouldn’t dare do that to another man. That wouldn’t just be cruel but plain evil. I rise to my feet in a rush as I take a step toward him. Morbius holds on to the pole as he leans down to get closer to his brother. “Today is a lesson to you brother. If you try to screw or claim our mate before I do, then I will screw you with this pole. I will shove it so far inside of you that it will never be able to come out. She. Is . mine.” He growls at him. The pole is removed just as fast and he punches his brother in the face so hard there is a crunch heard.

Jefferson falls unconscious and his gaze meets mine. “I will never belong to you” I vow as I hold my head up high. His jaw ticks as he eyes me. He scrunches up his nose as he looks me up and down and I cover myself once more. I don’t know why but the way that he looked at me now hurt. It was as if he was disgusted by the very sight of me. My eyes go to the floor as he makes his way across the room. if I keep my mouth shut and don’t look at him, then maybe he will just leave.

Just as I think that it worked he stops right beside me. I still cant look him in the eye after what he just did. I feel like a child waiting for a punishment to happen. I bite my lip in fear as I wait for a blow to hit me. When his hand twitches at his side I flinch. A heavy sigh leaves his chest and he speaks in the barest whisper.

“What I do is for your own good. If you ever want to leave, you should listen” The warning is so low that I nearly have to strain my ears to hear him. He walks and exits the room so fast that all I see is the back of his boots as I look up. I have no idea how I am supposed to feel about his words. However, there is no time for me to worry about it now.

I run over and crouch down as close as I can to Jefferson. I move the hair out of his face and have to flinch. The sparks that were so few earlier now feel as if they have been multiplied. They must do something to him also because he jerks awake with a groaning gasp. At the sight of his eye that is already beginning to swell I reach out and run a finger across it. I look him over quickly to see what other damages he has.

When I see the skin on his chest I reach out to touch it to make sure its healed but he grabs my hands. I feel an instant rejection that he has denied my touch even though he still holds my hands in his. For some reason the reaction causes tears to spring to my eyes as I stare at the wall behind him.

“Don’t” He says simply as he gently places my hands back in my space.

“Don’t what?” I ask him as he rises from the floor. I didn’t do anything besides try to check on him. What was I supposed to do. I had no choice but to step back because it was him and his brother. I can help him now. I want to help.

“Just go back to your corner of the room and keep pretending that I don’t exist. You never wanted the bond. The only reason that you have accepted it now is because you thought that I was dying. I may not know in this moment how to take it back but when I do, I will set you free”. He whispers.

I have no idea what is going on now. I feel like each time we have had a conversation he was pushing for the bond. Now because his brother decides to issue his claim to me, he wants to get rid of it. I didn’t make the decision lightly to accept the bond. At least I don’t think I did. Besides its not like we will be completing the bond today. We have to have time to get to know each other. I do know that if it comes down to it, that I would choose Jefferson over his evil brother.

“And if I don’t want to be set free?” I ask him as I hold my head high. While thinking about what he said, he walked to the other side of the room and has set down with his back facing me. The cold shoulder really doesn’t look good on him.

“pfft. Now you are just being childish. I don’t need your pity woman. I don’t need anything from you at all. Especially a bond formed all because you feel bad for the poor dragon man who can not defend himself” he says loud and clearly.

“Childish. I’m childish. Who is the one sitting cress cross apple sauce in the corner giving the other person in the room the cold shoulder when they have done nothing wrong? If you didn’t want my help, then you could have gone ahead and just said it. there is no need for you to be purposefully mean or for the name calling” I tell him as I now take my turn to go to the opposite side of the room.

“I am not childish. You cant have it both ways. One either wants the bond or they do not. If you go into this unsure then we both die. Sorry sweet heart but I just don’t think that you are worth the risk. I don’t have time to love and raise a child. My mate needs to be more than that” he says with a growl.

I watch in the corner as his back arches forward. From behind him at this view it looks as if he is repeatedly rubbing his face. His movements look so agitated and unsure. If I didn’t know any better I would say that it almost looks as if he is fighting with himself.

“I am all that I need to be. I know my own worth and I don’t need you or any man to tell me what that is. I know the decision that I made by accepting the bond. I’ve seen how fate intervenes when two people refuse and they are in close proximity to each other. I accepted the bond because I don’t want to hurt you. Even if I barely know you” I whisper knowing that he can still hear me.

“You sound foolish. I cant take care of myself. That means that here I cant even take care of you. I don’t even know what love is to be able to accept this bond. I was fooling myself too with the idea of having you. The only thing that I need to be worried about now is myself. I don’t have room for you in my life. I’m sorry that you wasted time accepted a bond that I no longer want. I’m sorry that this hurts you” he states.

“Why would you even care what hurts me. You cant even look at me right now” I scream at him through the pain that his words cause in my heart.

My words seem to get a reaction out of him and his rises to his feet and stomps over to me. At the look of fury on his face I press myself tighter into the corner in which I sit. “I cant look at you because I am not even a man. You saw what he is able to do to me. You haven’t even see how I treat myself. How can I so freely offer you something in which I don’t know how to give. I cant even look in the mirror at my own reflection and yet you sit here asking me to choose you” he shouts into my face.

I rise to my feet. I find the way he says these hurtful things into my face to be a challenge. I’ve never been one to back down. “You don’t even know who I am or what I am capable of. The man that I have seen the last few days would fight to protect me. Despite the words that you have spitting out of your mouth I know that you care about me. If that is something that you don’t want to believe, then it sounds to me like you are the one with the problem and not me” I yell right back.

“If I have any problem right now its you. You should have never accepted the bond. You should have never put any emotions or feelings at all into this” he yells right back as his talons slip out.

“I’m sorry that I cant be careless like you Jefferson but at least I still have the will to fight for what I believe in. I believe in the mate bond. I just didn’t want one for myself. Now that I have accepted the bond and the feelings that come with it. I will fight for it. Whether you want me to or not” I imply heartfully.

“You know this wont change the way I feel” he ask as he stares dead into my eyes.

“And you know it wont change the way I feel” I ask him right back.

Our stare off last for a few moments as I wait for him to turn away. We stare at each other for so long that my neck actually starts to hurt a bit from looking up at him for so long. With a tick of his jaw as his teeth grind he finally turns away from me. With a huff I sit back in my corner and fold my arms. My stomach growls as I lick my dry lips. Its been way too long since I have had something sustainable placed into my stomach. Tired from the events of the day, I decide to just close my eyes instead of asking about food. I didn’t have anything else I wanted to say to him anyway.