Fated From the Start

The Best Intentions

Cedar POV

"Ash, dude, come on. You have a pack and company to run. You can't stay holed up in your bedroom. We all miss Totty, but it's been a week and we need to continue our lives." I yelled through the shut bedroom door.

A crash exploded on the other side of the door implying Ash had whipped something at me, "f**k OFF" he bellowed. 

"No, let me in. We can go down to the gym and burn off some of this hostility." I called back at him. 

Brice and Cal had taken on the responsibility of keeping the pack and the company afloat and Cypress had taken on the responsibility of keeping Brice and Cal afloat. So that left me to try and coax Ash back to some semblance of normal. Seeing as no one knew much about your human mate running away from you out of fear because you exist, no one knew if there was a normal for Ash. Being rejected by your fated mate is supposed to be excruciating and earth shattering, but he hadn't been formally rejected in the way another wolf would do it. Ash was caught in some sort of mateless limbo. His mate still existed and their mate bond was still intact, but she wasn't here being his mate and she hadn't severed the bond so that he could attempt to move on. 

"If I open this door I'm pummeling your face," Ash yelled. 

"Deal, I'll heal." I snickered back, hoping he'd actually take the offer. 

After a long pause the lock on the door disengaged and it flew open, Ash's knuckles connecting with my nose before I even saw them coming. My vision blurred as my eyes immediately began to water, and then I smelled the blood- asshole broke my nose. 

"Follow me to the gym and you can take another swing," I baited him, raising my eyebrow playfully. 

"I'm your Alpha, I'll take another swing if I damn well please." He threatened. 

"Ash you have to leave this room, this isn't healthy, and the excuse that you're deathly ill isn't going to buy us much more time." I was back to pleading with him. I needed my bestfriend and Alpha back- not this hollow shell of man that Harlow had left in her wake. 

"She won't even acknowledge my texts man. I didn't think she'd immediately accept the existence of supposedly mythical creatures, but I didn't expect to get completely iced out either. This is brutal. It's like there's this aching void in my chest. Plus, my wolf is in hiding because he thinks he's the reason she left us, I can barely tell he's still in my head. I don't think I could shift if I wanted to right now. The longing caused by the mate bond is so immense it’s physically painful, mates aren't supposed to go this long without contact." He confessed. 

"I told you, she needs time and space. We have to have faith that she'll come around to us. It's fated after all." I reassured him, not 100 percent believing the words coming out of my mouth. "Let's go get that workout in, you're looking like an omega after skipping training for a week." I jabbed, hoping I could illicit even a snicker. 

Instead I got a groan, but he followed me out of his bedroom and towards the gym for the first time in a week. Progress. 

Turns out though, not all progress is good. Getting Ash out of his room meant exposing him to other people and he wasn't the biggest fan of those at the moment. Ash was usually a fierce but compassionate leader. Today he was being a straight up asshole. I watched him make three omegas cry simply for doing the housework near him. When Brice shared the news of a deal that had fallen through at work Ash punched a hole in the wall right next to Brice's head and threw a lamp.

Harlow's absence really may be the death of all of us. 

*How's Harlow holding up?* I shot a text to Will. Just because I couldn't sit at work with Harlow anymore didn't mean I couldn't keep tabs on her still. 

*I'm going to need you to send more ice cream soon, she's smashing about a carton a day*

*She only leaves the house to go to work, and I don't even think she's done that as much as she was supposed to, otherwise she's in a depression cocoon on our couch*

*The nightmares are the worst part though, she wakes up screaming bloody murder at least once a night. I'm dying over here!*

*How's Ash?*

Each of Will's texts broke me a little more. I just wanted to make my Totty okay again, to make her understand. I couldn't imagine how Ash was truly feeling with all of this.

*Ash finally left his room to kick my ass in a sparring match. He broke my nose and fractured my sternum so don't feel like you're suffering alone."

*Now I kinda wish he'd go back to his room though because he's just being a d**k to everyone.*

*I'll order more ice cream to be delivered. All Salted Caramel or should I switch it up this time?*

*ARE YOU OK?*

*Send more Salted Caramel, maybe if we only supply her with one flavor she'll get sick of it and let up on the ice cream.*

Harlow always cracked me up.

*Wolves heal quickly, I'll be fine by morning.*

*Think she'll go to work tonight?*

*I hear her swearing and slamming things around in her room as we speak so I'm going to assume she's getting ready to leave.*

*Following her again?*

*I would never Willow ;)*

Ever since Harlow had kicked me out of the club and told me not to come back I'd gone every night she worked and followed her from home to work and back without her knowing. It was my only solace in this whole mess. Getting to make sure she was still safe even if she wasn't talking to any of us. Getting to protect her like she'd still someday be my Luna.

God I hoped she'd still be our Luna…

Harlow POV

"Cedar, I know you're there. Stop stalking me or I'll get a restraining order." I'd just walked out of work after a particularly rough shift and I could feel his eyes on me. He thought he was sneaky, but I knew he would resort to some creepy s**t like this when I told him he couldn't keep sitting in my section every night. These boys were insanely protective, now that I knew the truth about them I'd assume that was a wolf thing. At first when I noticed him following me constantly I ignored it, but today I was over everything and not in the mood to put up with it. Plus, I had to wonder if literally being stalked by a blood-thirsty monster was making the nightmares worse.

"I just want to keep you safe," Cedar admitted sheepishly as he stepped from the shadows.

"Well at this very moment you are literally the biggest threat to my safety. You're a large shape shifting man with deadly claws that's lurking in the shadows and following me everywhere I go." I stated accusatorly. 

"Totty, you know I'd never hurt you." His voice was pleading. 

"I don't know anything anymore," I snapped back. 

"It's been over two weeks, please just come talk to us. We'll tell you whatever you want to know." He was practically begging. My heart wanted to give in and go to him, to Ash, but my head was still very afraid of the wild things these men happened to be. 

"Stop following me Cedar. I mean it. I need space. I don't know how much or for how long, but I can't have you following me like this. It's making things worse." Cedar winced as I implied he was doing more harm than good, hopefully that got my point across. 

Ash POV

"Oh baby, you're so tense," Maeve cooed drawing a finger across my back.

"Don't touch me," I growled low, my patience for her antics currently nonexistent. 

"But baby, you've been wound tighter than a top the last few weeks. Let me help you release some tension." She winked at me. My obvious displeasure with her presence not phasing her at all. 

Maybe a subpar life of settling with Maeve was my destiny after all. It'd been almost four weeks without contact from Harlow and it was starting to feel like she'd never talk to me again. I certainly wasn't ready to give up on us yet, but maybe I needed to work on that acceptance. Accepting that if Harlow can't accept who I am, there are plenty of women that will. 

Maybe I could reject Harlow as my mate and just get the pain over with. Maybe the Moon Goddess would be kind enough to give me a second chance mate. But would Harlow feel the bond break like I would? Breaking the mate bond was supposedly crippling and excruciating for a wolf; would her human body even be able to withstand that? I'd rather live alone and in pain for the rest of my life than cause Harlow any more pain. 

"Maeve, get off the Alpha! Just because he's drunk doesn't mean he'll consider slumming it with your skank ass" Brice bellowed across the kitchen, coming to my rescue when I hadn't realized I needed it.

"Mind your own business," Maeve sneered back. She had quite the cojones, I'd give her that. She regularly stood up to the ranked members of the pack like we couldn't have her head on a stick for it. Maybe that'd be a fun way to blow off some steam, put Maeve out of our misery. 

"It is my business. As Beta it's my job to keep our Alpha from making mistakes. And Maeve, I promise you, that as long there is air in my lungs, slumming it with you is NOT a mistake I'll be allowing our Alpha to make." Brice's tone was fierce and clipped, heavily conveying to Maeve that he was done with her s**t. 

She opened her mouth to rebuttal and Brice snapped his face an inch from hers. "Give me a reason to throw you in the cells for a month Maeve, please."

She huffed and stomped away knowing she wouldn't win this one. 

"You can't keep hanging around drunk all the time man." Brice turned to me, sympathy thick in his voice. "It's a real bad look for the Alpha." 

"It's the only thing that takes the edge off, I can't even convince my wolf to go for a run so we can relax that way." I sighed. 

"Well let's at least keep it behind closed doors till we can figure something else out," Brice clasped my back and began to guide me to the elevator.