Chapter 1: Rock Bottom
1344 Words
The email arrived at 9:47 AM on a Tuesday, and with it, the death of everything I'd worked for.
Subject: Grant Application #47829 - DENIED
I stared at my laptop screen, surrounded by petri dishes and microscope slides that suddenly felt pointless. Five years of research. A breakthrough in genetic markers that could help thousands of families struggling with infertility.
All of it dying because the National Science Foundation decided someone else's project was more worthy.
"While your research shows promise, we've decided to allocate funds to projects with more immediate clinical applications..."
Translation: not sexy enough, not flashy enough, not profitable enough.
My hands trembled. Scientists didn't cry over funding rejections. We pivoted. We found alternatives. We kept going.
Except I'd already tried everything else. This was my last shot.
My phone buzzed. Mom: Doctor said my A1C is up again. Don't worry, mija. I'm fine.
She wasn't fine. Her diabetes was getting worse, her medical bills piling up faster than her salary could cover. The grant money would've changed everything—funded my research AND gotten Mom proper care.
Now I had nothing.
"Dr. Morgan?"
Jessica, one of the lab techs, hovered in the doorway. Her expression said she already knew. "I'm fine," I lied. "Just need a minute."
She disappeared. My office phone rang—Dr. Whitmore's extension. The clinic director never called unless something was wrong.
"Dr. Morgan, could you come to my office?"
My stomach dropped. "I'll be right there."
Whitmore's office screamed success—spacious, organized, walls covered in awards. He sat behind his mahogany desk, fingers steepled.
"Riley. Sit."
I sat, hands folded to hide their trembling. "If this is about the grant—"
"I heard. I'm sorry." He paused. "Which is why I asked you here. I may have a solution."
Hope flickered. Dangerous. "Another grant?"
"Not exactly." He slid a manila folder across the desk. "We have a client—very high-profile, very private—who needs a gestational surrogate. The compensation is substantial."
I opened the folder. The contract was thick enough to use as a weapon.
But the number on the compensation page stopped my heart: $250,000.
"Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars," Whitmore continued. "Plus all medical expenses. Plus a monthly stipend during pregnancy."
I couldn't breathe. Two years of research funding. Mom's medical bills paid off. Security I'd never had.
"Why me?" My voice cracked. "I'm a researcher, not a surrogate."
"The client requested someone with medical background. Someone who understands the science, who'll follow protocols." He leaned forward. "You're young, healthy, with no pregnancy complications. Genetically, you're excellent."
Surrogacy. Carrying someone else's baby for nine months, then walking away.
My career was built on the sanctity of reproductive medicine—that creating life should be done thoughtfully, ethically. Mixing money with pregnancy made my skin crawl.
But two hundred and fifty thousand dollars...
"The embryos would be implanted," Whitmore said. "You'd carry to term, deliver, sign away parental rights. Nine months. Then you'd have research funding and security for your mother."
Financial security. The words wrapped around me like a blanket.
I could pay off Mom's debt. Get her better insurance. She could finally retire. And my research—years of work that could help people—wouldn't die.
"Sometimes we compromise our ideals for the greater good," Whitmore said quietly. "Think of all the families your research could help. Isn't that worth nine months?"
I thought about Mom working three jobs when I was growing up. The bills on my counter I couldn't pay. Five years of research gathering dust.
"Can I think about it?"
"Of course. But I need an answer by Friday. The client is eager." He stood. "For what it's worth, Riley, this could be good for you. Meaningful work while securing your future."
I took the folder on legs that barely worked.
That evening, I sat at Mom's kitchen table in her cramped Jackson Heights apartment, watching her make cafecito. She moved slowly, wincing when she thought I wasn't looking.
"You're quiet tonight, mija," she said, sitting down with effort. "Bad day?"
"The grant fell through."
Her face fell. "Oh, Riley. I'm so sorry."
"It's fine. I'll figure something out." I wrapped my hands around the tiny coffee cup. "How are you feeling? Really?"
She sighed. "The doctor wants me to start insulin. The pills aren't working anymore."
Insulin meant more money. More doctors. More complications I couldn't fix.
"I can help with costs—"
"No." Firm. "You've done too much already. You work so hard." She covered my hand with hers. "You've always carried the world on your shoulders. Sometimes it's okay to ask for help."
Ask for help from who? I'd been on my own since eighteen, putting myself through school on scholarships and determination. We were the women who figured it out. Who made it work. Who didn't complain.
But maybe there was another option now. Terrible, uncomfortable, ethically questionable. With $250,000 attached.
I didn't tell Mom. Instead, I hugged her goodbye and took the subway back to my shoebox studio in Sunnyside.
My apartment was tiny—I could touch both walls if I stretched. Kitchen barely big enough to turn around in. Bathroom so small you could brush your teeth while sitting on the toilet.
But it was mine. Earned through years of work and sacrifice.
I dropped the contract on my bed-s***h-couch and stared at it.
$250,000.
Nine months.
Someone else's baby.
Mom texted: Don't forget to eat. You work too hard. Te amo.
I opened my laptop. Bank account: $847.32
Rent due in a week: $1,400. After that, maybe $200 until my next paycheck.
Mom's latest medical bill on my desk: $3,200. Unpaid. Collections.
The choice wasn't really a choice.
I pulled out the contract and read.
The basics were clear: medical screening, embryo implantation, carry to term, sign away all parental rights immediately after birth. Follow all protocols, attend all appointments, zero contact with the intended parent unless requested.
Zero contact. The baby would be someone else's. Not mine. I was just the incubator.
Page twelve: $10,000 upon signing, $5,000 monthly stipend, $200,000 upon delivery.
Page fifteen: NDA—couldn't discuss the arrangement with anyone. Client's identity private until contract signing.
Page twenty-three made me pause: "The surrogate agrees this is gestational surrogacy only. The embryos are not genetically related to the surrogate. The surrogate will have no biological connection to the resulting child or children."
Someone else's genetics. Someone else's baby. I was just the oven.
I could do this. Just science. Cells dividing. Nothing personal. Nothing emotional.
Nine months. Then enough money to change everything.
At 2:17 AM, I signed my name with shaking hands.
Just a transaction. Clinical. Professional. Carry the pregnancy, follow protocols, deliver, walk away with money to fund my research and care for Mom.
Simple. Nothing to worry about.
I scanned and emailed it to Whitmore, then crawled into bed.
Sleep wouldn't come.
I lay in the dark, hands on my flat stomach, trying not to think about what I'd agreed to. Not to wonder about the person whose baby I'd carry. Someone rich enough to pay a quarter million. Someone whose life was so different from mine we might as well live on different planets.
Were they awake too? Probably not. That kind of money meant you bought solutions and moved on.
My phone lit up.
Whitmore: Contract received. Excellent decision, Riley. The client is very pleased. Medical screening Monday. Get some rest.
I turned off my phone and pulled the pillow over my face.
What had I just done?
Outside, the city hummed—sirens, voices, the eternal pulse of New York. Somewhere out there was the person whose baby I'd carry. Someone who needed me, even if they didn't know me.
Someone whose life was about to become entangled with mine in ways neither of us could predict.
I closed my eyes and tried to believe my own lie: just business. Just nine months. Just survival.
Nothing could possibly go wrong.
- Writer
