Ivy’s Divine Revenge

Chapter Seven

Beau

Coming back home to Doylestown had been a last minute decision that I was honestly beginning to regret, i did not even know how I allowed myself get to this point, i was being sentimental and thinking of my mother and decided on a small diversion if I was being honest.

When I had started my journey I had no intentions of coming this way because it would be like reopening old wounds that I would rather just ignore. After I had been kicked off the base disgracefully my original intention was to go as far away from anyone that I knew as possible but somehow as though programmed I found myself back at the familiar bus stop that I had gone past almost everyday for years on my way to school, coming down the bus and standing there reminded me of that rainy night eight years ago when I had sworn that I would never step my foot back here when I had turned my back away from everything and everyone that I had ever known and cared about all of my entire life so that I would not bring my bad luck around in their lives. Yet, here I was like the proverbial prodigal son back from his philandering ways to the only place where he had always been received without judgment, I was not even sure that my mother would want to see me, we had maintained a cordial relationship but that had been over the phone, it was a whole other thing to just drop by her house unannounced but I was desperate to see her, even if it meant that she turned me away immediately.

After the annoyingly chatty cab driver I had hired dropped me off at the little gate at the back of the Addison Ranch that led to the cottage where I had been born and raised in and lived in until that fateful night and where my mother who was a housekeeper for the Addison’s still lived alone, I slipped the latch open expertly just like I had done a thousand times before and cringed at how noisy it still sounded, the latch and door had been a thorn in my side, I could not sneak out and into the house without being heard. as I pushed the door open, I marveled at how everything seemed to still be exactly the same way it had looked all those years ago only smaller and I guessed that that was because I had grown bigger and been gone for long, everything had looked bigger in my memories, the flowers were in their usual place along the pathway and in bloom, their fragrance rose pleasantly in the cool evening breeze reminding me of so many hours I had spent reluctantly helping my mother with her garden when I would rather go play ball with my friends or chase after some pretty girl. I dragged my feet that were laden by the guilt of abandoning my mother when she needed me and walked along the stone path that led to the door of our little cottage, reluctant to go in and see my mother’s face after all of the pain I had caused her, I had figured it was better that I left that keep staying and causing problems for her.

My mother must have heard the creaky gate as I opened it because as I neared the end of the pathway the door swung open and a head peeked out slowly from within then when she realized who it was walking up to the door her eyes widened and she came towards me in a run and when she reached me I swept her off her feet and spun her around and we just grabbed each other tight and stood in that spot of a long time, as she sobbed and we held on to each other for dear life.

We eventually pulled away from each other and I realized I had tears running down my cheeks when my mother wiped them off with her fingers and looked at my face unbelievably as if she was dreaming, I read no condemnation or anger in her eyes, only love and welcome, she wordlessly pulled me into the house and I was transported years ago by the welcoming aromas and sights, the picture frames were placed exactly as they had been the last time and she her vase of fresh flowers still occupied center stage on the table in the middle of the chairs.

she took my bags from me and left the room while I drew close to the little figurines that she had always had arranged on the mantelpiece to decorate the house, I looked closer and saw the cracks on them from where they had been glued together and I had a quick recollection of that night when they had been scattered in pieces around on the floor and were mixed with my mother’s tears and blood as she picked up the pieces.

I was shaken out of my reverie by my mother’s footsteps as she came back into the room and she sat down and pulled me to sit beside her while she examined me me, studying me with her head tilted, her eyes roving all over my face while I held her hand and placed a kiss on it, I had been too long away from her and I had feared coming back but sitting there i let all the feelings wash over me and i wondered why I let guilt make me stay away for so long, after my father died I could have come back just to see her, to reassure her that she was not alone but all of the guilt that I had held close to me and carried refused to be shed, i am my father’s son and for that I will probably always carry this guilt on my back a reminder of who I could easily become if I became too comfortable and let the darkness consume me.

I watched my mother’s face and marveled, she looked peaceful and beautiful, the lines on her forehead did not look as pinched as I remembered and the smile on her face came readily and easily, her dress was bright and made her look youthful, her formerly black and shiny hair which had premature strands of silver was now almost entirely grey but it made her look more sedate than old, other than that she looked like she had not aged a day after I left her if possible she seemed to have reverse aged and I thought for a minute that she had fared better alone than before when she lived with me and my dad, I felt like a cancer.

“You look good mama.” I said, happy with how honest I could be, I had been worried that she would look faded she actually looked really good

She reached forward and grabbed me, pulling me into her arms as I sank into her warmth on the overstuffed chair that had been in this house since my childhood, after a while of quietly hugging we pulled back and she took my face in her hands and studied me closer.

“You look exhausted my child,” she said said, my mother the ever insightful mother.

“I will not be going back, they kicked me out of the marines.” I told her abruptly, eager to get that out there and get over it, i was embarrassed that I came back this way but when I looked into her eyes as I said it and I saw the rush of compassion into them and she pulled me into another hug and I sighed into the comfort of her arms.

When she pulled out of the hug she looked at me with concern and asked, “did you kill anyone? will you be here for long Beau?”

I stared at her pleading eyes for a moment wondering how to answer, I know that she had always worried about how violent I could get when I got angry and to be fair to her I got into a bit of trouble for that, I could not tell her everything that transpired and resulted in me getting kicked out of the base but I was glad that I could answer her question truthfully, I could sense also that she wanted me to stay and the more I thought about it the more I thought it would not be a bad idea to kick back my heels, at least for a short while until I got my bearings and decided on what I would do, there was no one beating me or chasing me out of the house.

“No, I did not kill anyone and I think that I will stay here until I decide on what to do next.” I reassured her and got a beaming smile from her.

“I put your bag in your room, I left it the exact way you used to, I always knew that you would be back, I am going to make your favorite meal and then we can sit down and have dinner together like a family, I am sure you have not had a good home made meal in a long long time.” Then she patted my face and got up and went in the direction of the kitchen, I went to my bedroom and felt almost overwhelmed by nostalgia, my sports memorabilia and trophies were still on my shelf above my bed and from the looks of things my mother had been cleaning regularly, i wondered how often she came her and just stared at the room. I lay on the bed and remembered so many of the nights I had spent in this same position, dreaming of life and getting away from this house and this town yet here I was back in my old bed.

After laying on the comfortable bed that smelled like home I dozed off and woke up to my mother calling for me from the passage,

“Beau! Dinner.”

I got off the bed and to the kitchen where I helped my mother set the table for dinner and we both sat to eat my favorite pasta and pork and when I asked for more helpings my mother beamed and piled my plate high, we talked throughout dinner and by the time I was washing the dishes in the sink after insisting that I would do the clean up since she had made food it was like I had never left, I felt a sense of peace that I had never before felt and I briefly wondered where Ivy Addison was.