Alpha Kieran’s Rouge mate

Chapter 10

“I know you’re Alpha Kieran’s mate.”

I stopped breathing for a second, snapping my head to look at her. My stomach turned inexplicably.

The look on my face must’ve been gravely scared because Lena’s smile wavered awkwardly,

“Wow.” She breathed, rubbing the nape of her neck awkwardly. “He really wasn’t lying or downplaying it. You really don’t want to be anyone’s mate, do you?”

I swallowed hard, looking away. “You do not know what you’re talking about.” I replied stiffly.

“Don’t I?” Lena asked, brows quirked. “Usually, I would hear of the Alpha rejecting his mate but this is different.” She leaned closer to me, eyes squinted. “You do realize Kieran’s the King. Anyone would literally die to be in your position right now.”

I shook my head. Of course I knew Anyone would die to be on my position. Anyone except me. “You’re wrong. Mates aren’t always a blessing. Sometimes they’re… not good. Sometimes they ruin everything.” I snapped, unable to help myself. Not when Aidan’s mocking eyes flashed in my head.

There was a beat of silence. Lena’s eyes softened, but I couldn’t stand the look in her eyes. The quiet pity.

“What happened to you?” she asked quietly.

A lump rose up to my throat and before I could reply, One of the housemaids peeked in, her eyes wide as she looked between us.

She bowed to Lena. “Beta Lena. I am sorry to interrupt. I didn’t know you were here. May I help you with anything?” She asked.

“I should go.” The words flew out of my mouth faster than I could think. I didn’t wait for Lena to respond. I set the glass down, turned on my heel, and left the kitchen.

I rushed up the stairs the same way I’d come in and got into my room. I quickly shut the door behind me and pressed my forehead against it, exhaling shakily.

Why did I do that? I could’ve just gotten what I wanted and leave or better still, keep quiet but no.

Now I’d ruined everything. Not only did I say that and practically gave her an easy aces to see how scarred I’ve been. I also only had one chance to make a friend. Someone who could tell me what it was about this place and how I could leave too. Someone who didn’t look like me like I didn’t belong. And now she probably thought I was insane.

Well done Emma. Well done.

I collapsed on the bed, sighing softly. It wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to though. I barely had friends back at the pack and now… it wasn’t different.

Was this what my life had become? Running, hiding, pushing everyone away?

I curled on the bed, holding back a sob. The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow.

I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want a mate. I didn’t want him. I only wanted to leave. To nurse my heart ache. To nurse the life I’ve lived so far. Getting mated to a man as high ranked as the Lycan king. It scared me tremendously.

I couldn’t help but cry, feeling even more sorry for myself. If only I’d been born as a normal wolf. One with a father and a mother then perhaps, my life would’ve been different but no. I had to come through a woman who was too weak and battered. A woman whose life was cut short the very second I came into the world.

I can’t count how many times I’ve wished for death. Hoped for it, even. The only thing I had to look forward to was the day I found my mate. The one that was supposed to save me from the hell I found myself. Then, the goddess had to make me the biggest fool that’s ever lived. She gave me a man like Aiden as a mate.

Now….I’m here, again. After what? A week of running. I’m here, in the same loop. Waiting for a man with even more authority, experience and power than any alpha I’ve known…to accept me as his mate.

I scoffed bitterly. He says he wants me now but I know better. I know better than to fall for cheap words and allow myself be stomped on again… If it happened again, I knew I would never be able to recover. That would be the end of me.

And so, I shook my head, wiping my tears off. I can’t let that happen to me. I only had to find a way. A solution and I’ll be free.

I don’t know how long I laid in bed for but eventually, I heard it. A soft knock at the door. I didn’t answer, but the door creaked open anyway.

Lena stepped inside, arms folded, eyes softer than before and I jumped off the bed on seeing her.

“I’m sorry.” She began.

I blinked, stunned. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Lena said again, stepping into the room. “I pushed too hard. I tend to do that sometimes. Boundary issues… or maybe just control issues.”

I wiped the corners of my eyes quickly, hating that she was seeing me like this. “No, it’s—it’s me. I was rude. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Sorry here, sorry there. It enough” she said with a small shrug. “So… no more apologies. Let’s just agree we both messed up and call it even?”

I hesitated for a second, then gave a weak nod. “Even.”

Lena smiled wider. She looked around the room, then back at me with a pointed expression. “So, are you just planning to rot in here until the moon fades or…?”

I blinked. “What?”

“It’s dinner time,” she said, crossing her arms. “And while the royal kitchen doesn’t exactly need our help, you should still come downstairs and eat. Be around people. Staring at the walls in here isn’t exactly therapeutic, you know.” She said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“I don’t really feel like—”

“Nope,” she interrupted, grabbing my wrist. “You don’t get to back out now. Come on.”

“Lena—”

“Don’t make me carry you,” she said with a grin. “I’ve done it before. Just ask Tobias.”

I couldn’t help but laugh softly, Something about her energy was hard to refuse. And maybe… maybe a part of me wanted not to be alone right now.