I WON'T LET YOU SLIP AWAY (IWLYSA)

The encounter

_jungkook's p.o.v_

jungkook stared at his mansion as he got outta his car.

He never really fancied people ever since his mom died ,she had been his source of inspiration...his everything she also has been the only person that stood by him even when others didn't.

His life was not in anyway describable as good,at least that's what he always said to himself,he had lived and still lives in self guilt ever since his mom died .

He blamed himself for his mom's death every single second he lived ,he blamed himself for not being able to safe her,and the worse part the haunting memory of the look on her face when she was falling.

she fell down the stairs and broke her neck,and her backbone and she couldn't survive it due to the fatality of the damage .

He had never seen her look so scared before...he tried to save her from falling,tried to grab her hands and save her from her horrible fate but her hands SLIPPED AWAY.

Since the occurrence he drowned himself in self hatred

His father was of no help, Ever since she died he became the opposite of who he used to be...who he believed in and looked up to as a kid, Now... he was a drug addict ,always stinks if alcohol and carried ladies to sleep with all the time to him he thought it would help to keep him from remembering his wife .

jungkook,felt worse even after...it was as though the event was a second ago occurrence he could still feel the slicing pain .

He still had nightmares of that night,he was suffering from insomnia and it had been going on ever since his mother died .

And he developed a phobia of getting close to people so he wouldn't lose them and go through the same loss he had gone through over again so he decided to shut everybody out . He hated love cause fate was so cruel that it had to take what he loved most in the world .sometimes he curses him self and blames God for not taking not taking him along with his mother .

Now as fate would have it,he was the only person Living alone in an enormously huge mansion . He felt he deserved it...The pain ,the hate... he craved for more pain and even go to the extent of hurting himself till he bled...all his sleepless nights all the aching memories of seeing his mother lifeless body at the end of the stairs with blood gushing out of her nose and mouth with the helpless and scared stare visible in her eyes, it was like she was begging not to die. he felt like he deserved all of the voices in his head that was driving him crazy.

The only form of relief he could get was hurting himself or him attempting suicide . He promised himself to never accept consolation from anyone,but at the same time prays to get rid of the guilt someday .

His dad couldn't handle all the memories him and his wife shared cause they lingered everywhere in his once home, so he moved out of the country. Leaving him alone with whatever life had in store for him,which remains undiscovered..well atleast not yet.

He had lost faith in everything he ever owned. And he was to keep it that way.