The paper is short but the sentiment is long

Chapter 3: Opium

When she woke up again, it was already the next morning.

She didn't feel refreshed at all as if she had had enough sleep. On the contrary, she was dazed and her head ached terribly. It wasn't just the sharp pain at the injured part of her head, but also a dull and heavy pain deep in her brain. In the past, when she had stayed up late and then gone to class, she would feel this way after being overly fatigued. At that time, as long as she just lay down and slept regardless of anything, everything would be fine. But now, she clearly had the body of a young lady, yet why was she so weak as if she had been tortured for ten years and just rescued?

Not only did she feel extremely weak all over, but she also felt itchy and numb. Her stomach was nauseous, and every part of her body, including her liver, spleen, and stomach, felt uncomfortable. Everything in front of her was blurry, and she felt uncomfortable no matter how she perceived it. In a daze, she was extremely scared. What on earth were these symptoms? Was she going to die? Didn't people usually have a flash of lucidity before they died?

Suddenly, a figure approached. It was a tall girl. She bent down as if to observe Aijia's expression and said in a low voice, "Young lady, you're awake? Are you feeling unwell? Please wait a moment. I'll clean your face and then go get the things." As she spoke, she took a cloth and wiped under Aijia's nose, the corners of her mouth, and her cheeks. The blurry touch made Aijia startle in horror.

Had she lost control of her snot and saliva? Why didn't she feel it!

However, the maid seemed to be used to it. After wiping Aijia's face, she turned around. After a series of clinking sounds, she brought something over. It was long and strip-shaped. She stuffed one end into Aijia's mouth and said, "It's all ready. Young lady, please use it first."

There was a hard object in her mouth. It had a flat and moist texture, and there was a faint, dry and strange smell. With a dazed look in her eyes, Aijia held that thing in her mouth and didn't move at all.

The maid waited for a while but saw no movement from Aijia. When she saw saliva flowing down again, she couldn't help but feel a little anxious. She wiped the saliva that was about to drip down and urged in a low voice, "Young lady, suck it in! Do you want to suffer to death?"

Aijia's mind was in a complete mess. Upon hearing this, she obediently took a suck.

With a buzz! Her vision went blurry. Something intangible with a strange smell rushed straight into her mind through her nasal cavity, as if covering up all the pain and sorrow, turning everything into a white expanse. Being in it was like wandering in the heavenly palace, making her feel elated. Aijia let out a comfortable sigh, squinted her eyes, and took two more sucks with great satisfaction. The thrilling and refreshing feeling like ascending to heaven continued with each suck.

"What is this stuff? It's more effective than any modern medicine I've ever taken. Is this really traditional Chinese medicine?" Aijia was still pondering, a silly grin involuntarily spreading across her face.

"Looks like you're feeling better, miss. But you shouldn't smoke too much while you're sick. Let me put it away for you."

Aijia, as if waking from a dream, reluctantly let the maid take away the long object, but as she watched her movements, something felt increasingly off.

The maid held a long pipe, with copper-wrapped ends and a black wooden center, looking incredibly ornate. At the other end of the pipe was a small pot of the same material, with a small opening. The maid was opening the pot, taking out a dark, lumpy substance, and placing it back into a silk pouch hanging on the pot. Smoke was still wafting from the pot's mouth, and she couldn't quite make out the smell.

Despite her mind screaming "no way, no way, no way," Aijia felt a chill run down her spine, and she couldn't help but ask, "What... is this...?"

The maid paused, then realized what Aijia was asking. "Oh, miss, don't worry. We've switched to the Liu family's opium den. You said the Zhang family's wasn't pure and didn't give you a good enough buzz, remember? I remembered, too. Are you satisfied?"

"Opium... poison?" Aijia didn't know if she was asking herself or the maid.

"Oh, miss, what are you talking about? Didn't you say it was opium? It's not poison..."

But Aijia couldn't hear anything else. Her entire being was stunned by the phrase "I'm doing drugs."

Thankfully, she still had some sense of reason, or she would have been completely overwhelmed. She blamed herself for visiting that anti-drug exhibition, where the descriptions of drug use were etched in her mind, making her realize the truth instantly.

This lumpy stuff... could it really be opium?!

Aijia finally understood what "a brain full of mush" meant. She was just frozen, unable to think, but she couldn't stay like that forever. She had to force her mind to work and figure something out.

As someone who had lived to her twenties, she could tell from her body's development that she was, at most, thirteen or fourteen!

A thirteen or fourteen-year-old girl being given money to smoke opium? What kind of insane family was this?!

Then she could imagine even more terrible things happening to this body! Had she already had children? Had she gone through multiple husbands? Had she even had a s*x change?!

What else could possibly be impossible for this girl?!

In the midst of her mental chaos, her supposed mother rushed in, crying, "Oh, my darling, you're finally awake! I was so worried! Did you just finish your smoke? Are you feeling better?"

"Better, my foot! I want to die!" Aijia gritted her teeth, but she didn't dare speak, just staring blankly at her.

Her mother thoroughly checked her up and down, reassured that her daughter was all in one piece. She wiped her tears and said, "Jun'er, it's not that I'm trying to nag, but you're being too reckless. How can you play with just anything? Playing with actors is something gentlemen do, what are you getting involved for?"

"Great, now I'm playing with actors too," Aijia thought, tears welling up.

"Those previous ones, Cui Cui, Lan Jun, it was fine for you to indulge them, but what's this Guan Lan? A newbie actor, is he really worth you fighting with someone, especially your brother's battalion commander's son? Is it fun? Do you even look like a young lady anymore? Now all of Fengtian is laughing at you, I wonder how you'll go back to school when you recover!"

"Too much information, please give me a moment to process..." Aijia still had a blank expression.

"Still acting silly, too dizzy from smoking?" Her mother waved a handkerchief in front of her eyes, and Aijia pretended to snap out of it. "Huh? What?" She didn't dare say much, her mother's strong northern accent was too obvious, and she, a southern girl, was terrified of being found out.

"Oh, you're getting impatient." Her mother misunderstood. "Do you know how difficult you're making it for your brother? Even though you hit yourself with a brick, everyone saw who you were trying to hit. Your father has to apologize to them. My dear, I've figured it out, this isn't how you play. From now on, you're not allowed to run wild anymore!"

"Rest assured, no one could run wilder than the original owner..." Aijia nodded inwardly, then racked her brains to figure out one question: What is Fengtian?

"All of Fengtian is laughing at her," so it must be a city. Either this girl was as notorious as a gangster, or Fengtian was an unknown small town. But Fengtian sounded familiar, so it must be the old name of a city.

Northern, Fengtian...

Forgive Aijia, who was originally a southerner through and through, who had traveled abroad but never to northern China, and was completely clueless about its history and culture. She couldn't remember no matter what, so she had to give up, planning to gather more information before trying again. But a bigger problem was right in front of her: regardless of the external environment, quitting opium was the top priority.

She didn't want to experience the discomfort of the withdrawal again. And regardless of whether this was her body or not, she would never allow herself to be in a state of constant mental confusion and drooling. No matter what the situation was, doing something reckless was not her style. She had to grit her teeth and fight.

Judging from the decorations, this family was quite wealthy, everything was exquisite and elegant, and all the things a young lady's room should have were present. It seemed they had high hopes for their daughter to become a gentlewoman... but the thing hanging on the hat rack looked like a leather whip...

...This can't be good! Aijia held her head.

These past few days, Aijia's internal monologue consisted of only a few phrases: "Li Jiajun, you're ruthless, Li Jiajun, you're incredible, Li Jiajun, I curse your ancestors, Li Jiajun, I'll destroy your whole family!"

She had finally reached her breaking point.

This fourteen-year-old girl named Li Jiajun, who seemed to call herself a feminist, was doing everything that worshipped male power. Men wear pants? I wear them too! Men play with actors? I play with them too! Men take a puff now and then? I do too! Men spend lavishly in nightclubs? I throw money around too!

Damn it, this girl is beyond help, she's a complete psycho! Doesn't her family care at all?!

Approximately a day later, her drug cravings returned. Although she claimed to have visited an anti-drug exhibition, it was merely a superficial glance. The only useful thing she gained was knowing how bad drug addiction was. After that, she was in a daze, constantly sleepy and yawning, but her body was itching from the inside out, making it impossible to sleep. Especially after refusing the opium that Xiuxiu brought on time, she was completely out of sorts. She would zone out while sitting, drooling and tearing up uncontrollably, unable to concentrate. She didn't even notice people passing by, and couldn't hear them talking to her.

When someone held the opium pipe to her lips, she struggled to avoid it while drooling. She knew how much her body craved that puff. If she hadn't taken that one fatal hit, she might not have realized she was going through withdrawal and would have just endured it. But now, knowing that just one puff could relieve her suffering, it was especially difficult to resist. Reason and instinct were fighting a deadly battle, and she sometimes wondered if she had already taken a hit in her daze.

Just endure a little longer... endure...

When she couldn't sit still, she lay down on the bed. When her mind was clear, she recalled the pictures on her father's old cigarette packs.

Split throats, rotten lungs, shriveled muscles, blackened teeth...

Finally, the person forcing the opium on her increased their strength, almost shoving the pipe into her mouth. She kept hearing commands to inhale. She felt herself shaking her head, but didn't know if she actually was. Her body was trembling like a sieve, shivering and numb. She struggled to push the pipe away from her lips, hissing two breaths: "No... inhale..."

As soon as she finished speaking, her body suddenly felt light, and after a long time, she heard screams and felt a warm flow beneath her.

Damn it... incontinence.

Fortunately, the recent episodes of drooling and tearing had prepared her for this. She was stunned for a moment, then felt a little aggrieved, but not angry or deeply ashamed. However, even this slight feeling of grievance made her eyes water. The pipe was shoved back into her mouth, almost knocking out her teeth, with brutal force. The pain jolted her awake, and she realized she was crying, tears streaming down her face. "No..."

"Inhale! Hurry!" A thunderous command, it was her older brother. His face was shaking in front of her, still in his military uniform, but his eyes were red. "Sis, just take a puff, I'm begging you!"

The background music was her mother's wailing: "What sins have I committed!"

Her father was roaring: "Let her suffer! Inhale! Let her inhale until she dies!"

Her brother turned back: "Don't watch, let her endure it. It's a good thing she wants to quit."

"Heavens! Which young master or miss doesn't indulge in this these days? What's the big deal? My dear! You got hit on the head with a brick, not a pipe! You're still recovering, why are you making it so hard on yourself? If you go, what will I do?"

Damn it, too much information again.

Aijia struggled to turn her head, tears of bitterness streaming into the pillow.

Without anything to relieve the withdrawal symptoms, she had no appetite. But the determination she showed when she pushed the pipe away from her lips during the cravings kicked in. She knew that without replenishing calories and nutrients, she would have an even harder time. So she forced herself to eat, whatever was poured into her mouth, she swallowed it down. The cook was thoughtful, avoiding anything greasy or strongly flavored, just plain porridge mixed with eggs, a little salt, and scallions, sometimes with sesame oil and vinegar, which was quite appetizing, at least enough to keep her from vomiting.

...Actually, she had been eating and vomiting at the same time before, so now, her instinct finally diverted some energy from the cravings to her appetite, preventing her from starving to death in a daze.

New to this place, Aijia didn't value this life much. If she couldn't make it, she would die with Li Jiajun. If she did make it...

Damn it, Li Jiajun, don't you dare come back!