My Virtual Lover

Live 37: The Null Loneliness

In another place…

Anthony is sitting duck in his dorm because he’s ill from overworking his task in the cafe. After the rebranding is done, he’s busy managing the staff and telling the social media specialist about the new rebranding of the cafe. It was a taxing job for him, she rarely contacts him afterward, staying away from him.

Loneliness overwhelms his chest, as he sits on the bed with a blanket covering his body. Shivering in cold, he sneezes when the air conditioner hits his skin. He already lowered the temperature, but he’s still on the bed with a cold. His aunt tells him to get rest, she will handle the rest while he’s away.

He nods heavily since he can’t object to her this time, she is correct in every way. The man is ill, he would be a hindrance rather than helpful if he keeps working in the cafe. Especially, if the pandemic is still around. He cooked his porridge in the dorm kitchen, it’s a chicken porridge for his dinner.

“I should drink some meds after eating the porridge” he looks at the fresh bowl of porridge on his study, waiting to be eaten by the ill man. “I shouldn’t waste any time, the porridge will get cold soon”.

Moving his chair, he’s still wearing his blanket around him as he lifts a spoonful of chicken porridge into his mouth. Tasteless, just like his daily life along with his love story with the cold graphic designer. She becomes rather cold lately, distant as the north pole land. Perhaps, for her, they’re just business acquaintances.

However, the man dreams of connecting with the mysterious graphic designer. The graphic designer reminds him of Tempesta, the cold woman who invites her to a discord server, she barely shows her nose these few days in Holorealm, busy with her real-life situation. Anthony eats the spoonful of porridge half-heartedly, uncertain whether he can eat the whole bowl.

He doesn’t want to leave anything behind, as a cook that would be a shame to not eat the whole bowl of porridge he made himself. Anthony eats his porridge, still feeling terrible with the cold he had. The young man slithers to his bed, covering his body with a blanket as he reaches for the nightstand for cold pills and a bottle of water.

He tears the silvery plastic as he swallows the pill, follow-up by mineral water flowing into his throat. The meds made him sleepy, granted that it has the side effects of making people who swallow it dozes off. Anthony drifts into sleep with a cellphone in hand, he peeks at the cellphone screen before he’s asleep.

“Four o’clock, okay” he mumbles to himself. “I want to sleep”.

*    *    *

The sky is already dark, the moment he opens his eyes he finds himself staring at the dorm ceiling, no speck of light escapes the curtain gap. He peeks at his cellphone screen, noticing that it’s already late at night. The number seven is plastered on his cellphone screen, he had to take a quick bath at least since he feels smelly.

Still drowsy, Anthony opens his clothes in the bedroom while carrying a t-shirt and green short pants from his wardrobe. He exits his bedroom, entering the shared bathroom outside, he lets the cold water pour into his smelly body. He feels slightly cold again, runny nose is starting to act up again.

“This is a bad idea” he thoughts to himself then turn off the knob. 

Rather than bathing in cold water, he decides to wipe his body with a wet towel. He wet the towel he carries with the shower, wiping the sweat slowly with the white towel. After that, he notices another thing he needs to be concerned with. Anthony only carries one towel, he can’t dry himself.

He grumbles dissatisfiedly, after wiping his body he decides to wear his clothes and run to his bedroom. Anthony wipe his wet body there, with a dry towel this time since he foolishly only carry one towel. After that, he lays on his bed with his arms spread; he misses chatting with the graphic designer.

He wants to chat with her but he feels like a nuisance lately, she rarely replies to him; not as often as before. Anthony opens his cellphone, logging in to Holorealm with a feverish look. He meets with his online friends in Holorealm, saying hi to them one by one. They ask him how he’s doing, he replies with a sigh.

“I’m a bit ill” he sighs heavily. “Sorry, I’m just logging in cause I want to see someone”.

He looks around the square for that familiar redhead, but he doesn’t see her in Holorealm for a while. The man misses her presence, he usually asks if she’s alright whether she’s still playing her games. He admires her competitive spirit along with her enthusiasm for games, she’s what pushes him to change into a better person.

At least that’s what he thought, but she’s emotionally unavailable for him in his most depressing state. She’s a professional freelancer, hence it’s normal for her to feel strange when he approaches her. Anthony sighs, he misses talking to her since she’s the most honest woman he ever met so far.

Blunt and straightforward, she’s not as complicated as the other woman.

“Anyway, I should log out Holorealm” he groans. “I can feel my cold is getting worse”.

He logs out from Holorealm, disappointed and lonely from his empty finding. The blondie wondered if she’s outside Holorealm. He’s unlucky in any department it seems, he knows that she’s interested in the man with the username Kani. The mysterious APEX gamer entranced the cold-hearted Tempesta.

“Tempesta, where are you?” he asks himself. “Maybe I need to find new friends in this new city”.

He slithers inside his white puffy blanket, his eyes gazing upon the doll on his right, the doll he bought back at his home. It’s a Pokemon doll, Vaporeon that evolves from Eevee, the man hugs the doll as he tries to sleep his loneliness. Perhaps, he’s expecting too much from Jury Crawford.

After all, she sees him merely as a business partner but nothing more than that. He hopes for her to notice her, but he can see that the woman is as dense as the rumor says. Anthony dozes himself to sleep while hugging the Vaporeon doll in his embrace, warmth permeating into his body.

*   *   *

He finds himself waking up in his old house in Bali, he can see his parents taking a walk in front of the house from his window. He’s still in his pajama, stretching his nape because of the itchiness. His cellphone is beeping uncontrollably, it’s the message from his ex-lover telling him that he’s responsible.

“You’re the worst man I’ve ever dated! You should die for all I care! I hate you and your guts!” the hate messages are piling like mountains. Anthony widens his eyes, his iris traces the screen of his cellphone in horror. The memory of his broken relationship haunted the man like a ghost, he lost count of how many times she says she hates him.

“I’ll curse you with unluckiness! You gave me hope, but nothing works out! You’re a liar!” the message echoes in his mind, dark clouds shrouding the sky in darkness. “I hope you will live your life, being unlucky! Cursed for eternity!”.

His life is nothing but misfortune ever since his past girlfriend say such cruel words, his parents are not there when he needs them the most. Neglecting him in his weakest state, Anthony crumbles on his bed as he cries for forgiveness. He doesn’t want to remember the time he loves the woman who restricts his freedom.

“Delia! Stop it! I’m sorry” he texts her emotionally. “Please, don’t break up with me! I’ll do anything for you, so please don’t hate me”.

It was the last straw for him, but then his bedroom transform into the living room of his old house. Two sides of the family sit on a different couch with him sitting duck in the middle of his family and his ex-girlfriend’s family.

“We don’t think this man is a suitable man” the man on his left speaks with dignity. “Our daughter is a chooser you see, I can see that the marriage future will be a disaster!”.

“My son can choose a better woman than your daughter, mind you!” the woman on his right then commented, hostility can be sensed from the edge of her voice.

Anthony recognizes the woman’s voice as his mother, while the man’s one is his ex-girlfriend’s father. 

“Your son is a disappointment to us all, he can do anything right” the man shakes his head, his towering figure shrouding Anthony in fear. Pressure from both families comes off as strong, especially since he’s the male who’s responsible for dating the other family daughter. They were found out in the end, their hidden relationship has come to an end.