Written in the stars by A.c Thompson

chapter 12.

"I can't do this, we can do This" I choke out, holding back a sob as my small voice cracks just a tad, if it was anyone eles they wouldn't notice it but he does. Carter freezes as every muscle in his body just tense right up, he lifts his head and looks at me. I look up into his beautiful green eyes that are burning through me full of raw vulnerabilness for a brief second before he puts his walls back up and I feel so shamefull that it's my doing. He moves off me and the bed completely. "Harper im sorry I don't know what got into me, that shouldn't of happened" he rushes out but I can tell he ment it. I look away from his eyes as the heavy emotions consume me. I rush to the bathroom and puke into the toilet. Carter lighty knocks on the door "you need some help" he asks softly yet concerned. "no" I croak out. I can't believe what just happend, truth is I wanted this more than I could of ever thought, I realized I

want him to be my first, but not like this were I'm drunk and he doesn't even know I'm a virgin and that he was my first kiss, my failed attempt with Ben O'Conner doesn't count as it was hardly a kiss it was all teeh and even bumped noses it was my world most embarrassing story as it was in front a feild full of football players and cheerleader who then made up the nick name toucan Sam that got around until Carter told the cheer captin Mindy's boyfriend that she was sleeping with Carter. No one every bothered me after that as Carter could expose their secrets. I puke into the toilet again and lay my head down I know he doesn't see us going anywhere, I'm pretty sure if we went any further it would ruin us, so I stuff whatever I'm feeling down and prevent us from throwing away 16 years of friendship even though I have a feeling this changes everything. I lay my head down as tears stream down my face. "What am I going to do now" I mutter under my breath. I touch my lips remembering the kiss and how I know I will never experience one that incredible again. that's the last thing I think of before I pass out.