FORSAKEN

A Lie.

“Relax mum." My voice trembled, 

"Astin and I will be gone for three weeks at the most.” I continued, knowing that my babbling was probably going to give me away at any second. I’d never been a good liar, she said it was my biggest weakness, that I couldn’t even lie if I’d wanted to, boy how much I was changing from that girl!                                    

“Plus you will be on a spa retreat; you better enjoy every penny’s worth of it.” Astin pushed his blonde fringe out of his eyes, mums little angel.         

The trip to the airport was next level,  mum was holding back tears as if her two children just died, no we were going on our first adventure before I embarked on the last year of my high-school experience, or that's what mum thought. I hadn't told her I'd taken all my exams a year early, I knew I had to tell her,  today however was not that day.

 At the start of break, Astin being the snoop he is, found mum's old journal full of all the history she had never spoken a word of, all the things I wanted to know my entire life in one single word. Avigale’s, father; something that had never been spoken of, I’d never had a family tree project where I’d have to bring it up and I could finally have a reason to ask, but in all honesty I wanted to know for selfish reasons, I was always the odd one out; in everything!

 I was lucky that mum had met Astin’s dad when we were young enough to not know any better,  I always ask Astin about those days now, because it was like I never existed before we’d became a family, my memories before that are missing. My whole life I’d been let believe that Astin’s dad was my own, until we found mum’s diary. Until I found out that we’d been living a lie.

It didn’t help that mum had picked now to realize her only daughter was big enough to not need her for every little thing, something she had no control over, I knew that strain.

 I dealt with it every single day, the need to have control over a situation or not putting yourself in any so that you don’t have to deal with it, mum swears that my anxiety and obsessive behaviors started when I was five, she said it was like I had changed, couldn’t imagine why at all, I mean she moved across the world and left every trace of our past behind, every, single, part, except for one. Astin told me the next day he had already booked our flights, of course, he had to take the longest way there, he thought of everything, so that this would go to plan even down to the surprise retreat he booked her into that had a thank you note he’d written from his dad saying how grateful he was that she had stuck around all these year’s and raised his son, and continues to do so still, of course, mum being mum bought it straight away, everything was going to plan, except I didn’t think he’d counted on my being the one thing that could actually get me caught, or should I say us since he is just as much a part of this as I was, there was no going back; we’d all be disappointed.

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